


Grand Old Lady a Due South Novel part 1

by FancyFree2813



Category: due South
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, description of torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:48:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 51,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27055189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FancyFree2813/pseuds/FancyFree2813
Summary: Renfield and Kerri have purchased an authentic Victorian fixer upper. Renfield goes to the hospital, Kerri has a broken wrist and Ray falls in love with the plumber. Oh, and Benton meets a steamroller in a sexy red cocktail dress and Slogger boots – who drives a Ferrari.
Relationships: Renfield Turnbull/Kerri
Comments: 2





	Grand Old Lady a Due South Novel part 1

**Author's Note:**

> The work takes place after The Judge Steps Out 2020, and as its predecessor takes place in my Layers Universe.

Prologue

Chicago Police Detective Ray Kowalski had just parked his GTO in the lot at the back of his station house when his phone rang. Having a rather good morning he didn’t answer with his usual “what!” but instead with a fairly pleasant “hello”.

“Mr. Kowalski?” the caller asked. “This is Doctor Fairchild from LP Hospital in Toronto Ontario.”

Ray was instantly alarmed. He only knew two people in Toronto, and both were as close to him as two people could be. “Yes…” he responded, tentatively.

“I have a patient here who has requested to see you. Is it possible for you to come to Toronto?”

Ray was even more alarmed. “Who –”

“I apologize,” the doctor said. “I should have told you immediately. My patient is Renfield Turnbull.”

Ray felt he should kick himself for being relieved it wasn’t Kerri. “There been some kinda accident?” he asked, in a shaky voice.

“Not exactly Mr. Kowalski. LPH is a psychiatric hospital.”

“What –”

“I’d rather not discuss this over the phone. Are you able to come up here?”

“I’ll be there as soon as I can catch a flight.”

“Thank you. Mr. Turnbull will be glad to hear you’re coming.”

Chapter 1

The first flight available had Ray arriving in Toronto just after 1pm. He rented a car and found his way to the hospital within four hours of Dr Fairchild’s call. He was grateful that it didn’t take any longer because he was worried sick and anxious to find out what the hell was going on and why in the world Turnbull was in a psychiatric hospital.  


The hospital was located in downtown Toronto, in an area that had blocks of buildings all under some stage of renovation, so it was a bear trying to find a place to park. He hadn’t spent much time in Toronto, and none, that he could remember, in this part of town, so he was surprised to see the masses of people on foot and cars jockeying for position on streets narrowed by construction and traffic.  


He was momentarily distracted from his worry about his friend by the general chaos of the scene. He ended up parking a couple of blocks from the hospital building. He walked those blocked hurriedly, sidestepping people on the crowded sidewalks and dodging traffic as he crossed the busy streets.  


The building was old and brick, probably built in the ‘50s, but it looked to be in pristine shape and the only building for blocks that was not being renovated. As he entered the several story building it occurred to him that Dr Fairchild hadn’t told him where to go once he got there. Surprisingly, the interior was very calm and quiet – especially compared to the streets outside. He found an information desk and asked the obvious.  


“Hiya. Name’s Kowalski ‘n I got a call from Dr Fairchild this morning. Supposed ta see a patient – Renfield Turnbull. I’m not –”  


“Please sign in at the window over there,” the nice young woman said, pointing to a window with a sign over it that read ‘Sign in here and a Doctor will be with you momentarily’. “Dr Fairchild will want to speak with you prior to your going up.”  


Ray did as the sign instructed and then found a seat. Once seated he finally allowed himself to consider what might be going on. He knew Turnbull had emotional issues after his time undercover but could just not imagine what could have happened to require his hospitalization. And where was Kerri, and why hadn’t she called him, and why had Turnbull asked for him? So many questions and no answers. He realized he was scared to find out those answers.  


He finally decided to try texting Fraser – again. He’d was up in the great white north somewhere and obviously out of range. But damn! there had to be cell service somewhere near him. But try as he might Ray just could not get ahold of him. Once Fraser got in range, he’d have about 40 messages waiting for him.  


Everyone who knew Ray Kowalski knew that he was one of the most impatient men on the planet, and after waiting almost an hour those sitting near him wondered if perhaps, he might need to be admitted himself. His muttering and fidgeting had become annoying to the point several of those waiting moved as far away from him as they could get.  


Finally, after waiting for over an hour, Ray heard someone call his name. Jumping up far too excitedly, he shocked everyone in the waiting area. “Sorry,” he said to no one in particular.  


His name had been called by a woman who looked much like his mother, friendly, but she also looked like she could give him a good whomping if she chose to do so.  


“Mr. Kowalski I’m sorry you had to wait so long. If you’ll follow me Dr. Fairchild will see you now.” Ray went with her but decided to wait to ask any questions until he saw the doc.  


A couple of floors up the elevator and several turns down worrisome hallways and the woman opened a door labeled Mark Fairchild MD Ph. D Psy.D. “He’ll be right in,” she announced as she stepped aside to let Ray enter. She closed the door behind him, and he was left alone.  


He sat in one of the inviting leather chairs in front of a large mahogany desk. As he sat down, he realized for the first time – all the hurrying to get here, time spent waiting to see the doctor, piled on top of overwhelming worry for his friends was finally taking its toll. If he didn’t find out what was going on soon, he was sure he would lose it.  


So lost in thought he almost jumped out of the chair when Doctor Fairchild entered the room from behind him.  


“Thank you for coming so quickly Mr. Kowalski and I apologize that you had to be kept waiting for so long. One never knows what sort of emergency might occur,” he said, extending his hand to Ray.  


After taking his seat behind the desk, Fairchild took the time to straighten some papers and Ray did lose it. “Please tell me with the heck is goin’ on here!” he demanded.  


“Mr. Turnbull admitted himself to our facility late Wednesday evening.” At Ray’s shocked look he continued, “for psychiatric observation.”  


“What the hell for? Turnbull’s as sane as you or me! Maybe even saner that me!”  


“You’re a good friend of his, then?” Fairchild asked.  


“’Course! I’m friends with both a them – him ‘n his wife, Kerri.”  


“Well then, I guess you should know this. The reason he came to us was that he attacked his wife.”  


“WHAT?! Ya gotta be kiddin’!” Ray almost laughed out loud. “He’d never do that! He loves her more than –”  


“He broke her arm,” the doctor said softly.  


“That’s just not possible! There’s gotta be some kinda mistake here –”  


“Oh, he admits it. Although he won’t explain – he wants to talk to you.”  


Ray was stunned. That Turnbull could in any way physically harm Kerri was inconceivable to him. Something else must be happening – that had to be it! “Can I talk ta him now?”  


“Of course. We’re hoping that seeing a friendly face will help him to open up. He’s refusing to see his wife.” He pushed a buzzer on his desk and the same woman who reminded Ray of his mother appeared instantly.  


“Ruth, could you take Mr. Kowalski to room 2?” Turning to Ray he said, “just so you will know your meeting with Mr. Turnbull will be monitored and recorded.”  


Ray was not at all sure he liked that idea, but he had to get to his friend quickly, so he didn’t object.  


He expected ‘room 2’ to look like interview 2 at the station. He was wrong.  


He saw Turnbull immediately. He was sitting with his back to the door, staring out a large window. There were several other chairs in the room, a few card tables with puzzles or games and a radio playing softly in the background – but Turnbull was the only occupant.  


“Hiya,” Ray said tentatively.  


Renfield turned and smiled. “Ray! I’m so glad you came!” And then his smile drifted away – along with his thoughts.  


Ray walked over to his friend and sat next to him. “Of course, I came! The doc said you were in some kinda trouble. What’s going on?” he asked gently.  


“I need a favor…”  


“Okay…”  


“You have to take care of Kerri for me. I can’t do that anymore. She needs someone to be with her and it can’t be me,” he stated matter-of-factly.  


What the hell? Ray thought. “Of course, you can! Whatever’s going on here, we can fix it ‘n then you ‘n Kerri can –”  


“NO! I can’t be near her!” he shouted. Then he calmed down a little and continued, “it’s dangerous for me to be near her and you love her, Ray. She can be with you. Please, you have to take care of her. You’ve done it before and you could again. She needs you! She loved you once, she’s got to forget about me and love you! That’s all I wanted. Thank you for coming.” Renfield got up and went to knock on the door. “I’d like to go back to my room now,” he told the man who opened the door.  


Ray was left alone in room 2. He could think of nothing to do but sit there in stunned silence. Finally, Dr. Fairchild came in.  


“Not exactly the result we were hoping for,” he admitted. “Apparently you know his wife very well. He has refused to see her, but she has refused to leave the hospital. If you hadn’t come today, I’m afraid we would have had to forcibly remove her from the premises. She is one very strong-willed lady!”  


You ain’t kiddin’, Ray thought. Then it dawned on him, “she’s here?”  


“Yes, in the 2nd floor family waiting area. I’ll have Ruth show you the way. Please see that she leaves. It’s not good for anyone for her to continue to insist to stay here.”  


Ray didn’t care for this man’s attitude toward Kerri but decided to ignore it for the moment. Ruth appeared and they went down to the 2nd floor.  


She pointed toward the family waiting area and left Ray alone. He scanned the room, but Kerri saw him first. She jumped up and ran – right into his arms.  


He held her for far longer than he cared to – having her so close was still physically painful for him. But she made no effort to pull away, so he continued to hold her.  


Finally, she stepped away and said, “sorry. I know this makes you uncomfortable. I am just so glad to see you! What –”  


He grabbed her hand and pulled her toward the hall. “Let’s get outta here.”  


They found their way out of the building without speaking another word. Ray had seen a coffee shop on his way in, so he led them there.  


Once they found seats toward the back of the ‘50s themed café, Ray was finally able to ask what he’d wanted to ask ever since he’d first heard from Doctor Fairchild. “What the hell’s goin’ on here?” looking pointedly at the cast on her left arm.  


“Long story,” she replied before taking a long drink of the water Rhonda, their waitress had just sat in front of them.  


Pointing to the cast Ray said, “he do that?”  


“Yes,” she whispered. “But it was NOT his fault!” she said much more emphatically.  


Ray shook his head. “’Course not! But ya gotta tell me why!”  


He watched as she took another long drink of water, obviously stalling while trying to decide what to say.  


“Don’t you dare do this! I’ll sit here ‘til hell freezes over – but you ARE gonna tell me what’s goin’ on!” Then, a little more gently he added, “ Doc Fairchild said Turnbull attacked ya.”  


Kerri slammed the water glass down, causing water to splash onto the turquoise Formica table. “Fairchild’s a jerk! He won’t even let me see Renfield! He thinks I’ll upset his patient!”  


Ray was beginning to see why Fairchild would think that. “Can you calm down? Please! It’s me yer talkin’ to.”  


Kerri looked at him and he could see her anger dissipate instantly. “I’m sorry! It’s just I’ve been so worried, and I haven’t slept, and my arm hurts, and I’m scared to death for Renfield. He’s in there all by himself and they won’t let me see him.”  


“First, he’s okay, I guess…and two he’s worried about you, and –”  


“You’ve seen him?! You could see him, but I can’t! That’s not FAIR!”  


People were beginning to stare at them, so Ray took her good hand and held it tightly. “He asked Fairchild to call me –”  


“Why –”  


“We’ll get ta that in a sec. First ya gotta tell me how all this happened.” Although he still didn’t know what ‘all this’ was.  


Kerri tried to put her thoughts into as coherent an order as possible, and that took a while.  


“When Renfield came to Edmonton, after my panic attack, he spent the night sleeping in a chair in the living room,” she began. “During the night I came out to check on him and he was sound asleep. I was pleased because I was afraid he’d be uncomfortable. But he seemed fine, so I went to sit by him, on the arm of the chair and I startled him. He screamed and grabbed my wrist and twisted it until I cried out in pain. He was still asleep, but that woke him up. He was so contrite and humiliated he couldn’t apologize enough.  


“It happened another time. We were staying in the hotel after the press conference and he was asleep in a chair and I was asleep on the bed. My phone rang and startled both of us. It was a reporter and she wanted to –”  


“Honey, yer driftin’ a little here…”  


“Sorry,” she muttered. “Renfield was up in a flash and grabbed the phone from me and threw it against the far wall. It broke into about a thousand pieces. He cursed like I had never heard him curse before. And then he woke up.  


“Then, the other night I came home from work extremely late. Renfield was already asleep, so I tried to be as quiet as I could – I didn’t mean to startle him! I really didn’t! But I tripped over the dog and fell against my nightstand, knocking off the lamp.” Tears started to spill down her cheeks.  


“He flew at me and twisted my wrist. He was shouting – in Spanish – I think. When I screamed, he woke up.”  


“You tell this ta Fairchild?” Ray asked still holding her hand tightly.  


“He wouldn’t let me! He doesn’t even want to talk to me! He thinks Renfield is abusive and I did something to provoke him!”  


“He said that?”  


“No, but I know that’s what he’s thinking!” She grabbed a napkin and blew her nose loudly.  


Ray smiled at her. “I think ya may be wrong ‘bout Fairchild. Let’s go back there ‘n I’ll make him listen – ta me if that’s what it takes. Turnbull’s not responding ta any questions so maybe Fairchild doesn’t know what ta think.”  


She started to scoot out of the booth, preparing to go back to the hospital to do battle when Ray asked, “when’s the last time you ate?”  


She had to think a minute. “I had a candy bar – yesterday…I think.”  


“We’re havin’ lunch!” He signaled for the waitress and when she walked over, he said, “we’ll have a coupla BLTs ‘n one chocolate shake ‘n coffee for me.” He looked at Kerri for confirmation. “Don’t give me that look! Yer not dyin’ of starvation, not on my watch!”  


Kerri smiled at him. “So, you’re watching me?”  


“Turnbull asked me to.” As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he regretted them.  


“Damn him!” Kerri exclaimed. “He’s pushing me at you! That is not fair to you. I’m sorry but he shouldn’t have done that!”  


“Calm down there, Tiger,” he grinned. “It’s okay. I’m just saving ya for him. You’ll be back together before ya do any damage ta me.”  


He finally released her hand when the waitress brought their meals. “Eat!” he demanded. He grinned at her as she ate her extra thick shake. His thoughts drifted to all the many times they’d shared meals together and then made a conscious decision to stop it!  


Kerri found she was gobbling her food. Just having Ray near her allowed her to relax enough to realize she was very hungry. And, deeply sorry for what she said about Renfield. “I didn’t mean it, about Renfield, I mean,” she muttered. “I love him so much I just can’t stand that I can’t see him.”  


“Well, now that you’ve stuffed yourself, we can go back to the hospital.” He grabbed her hand and they left the diner.  


“You don’t have to keep holding my hand if you’d rather not. I’m not going anywhere.”  


“I promised Turnbull I’d watch out for ya. I doubt this is exactly what he meant, but I’m doin’ it!”

Chapter 2

Once again Ray signed in at the desk and once again found himself waiting for Doctor Fairchild. The difference this time was he wasn’t alone.  


“I hate this place,” Kerri muttered. She shifted in her seat and grimaced.  


“Arm hurts?” he asked, knowing the answer by the look on her face. “Takin’ anything?”  


She smiled at him. “You can relax, all I’m taking is ibuprofen, and I haven’t taken any of that for a little bit too long. Maybe I should see if I can find some water –”  


“Mr. Kowalski,” Ray’s mother’s lookalike called.  


“That’d be us,” Ray jumped up. “We’ll have Ruth get you some water.”  


Doctor Fairchild was waiting for Ray, but not for Kerri. “I really don’t see the need for Mrs. Turnbull to be here, Mr. Kowalski. I think she will only serve to be a distraction.”  


Ray quickly grabbed Kerri’s hand – before she could say something they would all regret.  


“I think ya need ta hear what she has ta say before you throw her out!” Ray demanded. “Just listen ta her before jumping ta conclusions.”  


“All right then,” he relented, “have a seat and let’s hear what you have to say.”  


Kerri was suddenly at a loss for words. She knew that what she had to say was terribly important, but she just couldn’t seem to find the words. She stammered for a moment or two and Fairchild was obviously growing impatient.  


Finally Ray interceded. “She told me at lunch that Renfield has been having something like what I used ta think of as night terrors. He –”  


As soon as Ray put a name to it Kerri found her voice. “I didn’t know what they were called but it’s been going on since we got back together.” She went on to give Fairchild the whole story, from the time Renfield returned from his undercover assignment to the present day. That is, all the story that she knew to tell.  


“So, he was asleep when he attacked you?” Fairchild asked as he switched on a tape recorder. “This is only for my personal notes and will only provide me with a potential treatment plan for Mr. Turnbull.”  


Kerri hated to admit that Renfield had attacked her, but “yes,” she said.  


“And he was tortured while undercover?” he asked matter-of-factly.  


“Whipped, but there’s probably more,” Ray spoke up before Kerri could answer.  


“And this has only shown up since the two of you have been back together?”  


“Is all of this my fault?!” Kerri could not stand the thought that Renfield was suffering because of her.  


“Did he have any sexual partners prior to your getting back together?” Fairchild asked, completely ignoring Kerri’s question.  


“Ah…” she hesitated, not really knowing how to answer that. Up to this point she hadn’t allowed herself to think about it and really didn’t what to think about it now. “I really don’t know –”  


“I doubt it,” Ray interrupted, “he loves Kerri first, last and always.”  


“Please – is this my fault?” she pleaded. “I have to know if I’ve done something…” she started to cry and could not go on.  


Still ignoring her question, Fairchild asked one of his own. “Did he ever say anything about sleep disorders after he returned from his undercover assignment?”  


Ray and Kerri looked at each other. “No,” Ray said, “but he wasn’t really speaking ta either a us for a long time.”  


“You haven’t answered my question! Is this somehow my fault?”  


“No,” Fairchild said.  


“Can she see him? She really needs ta see him. It’ll help them both – trust me on this one,” Ray demanded.  


“You’ll be monitored and if you upset him in any way, we will pull you out of there immediately. Agreed?”  


“Yes,” Kerri agreed, saddened at the thought that she might upset Renfield.  


Ruth took her to the same room Ray had been in earlier. “Mr. Turnbull,” Ruth said brightly, “you have another visitor,” and she left them alone.  


Renfield was sitting in the same chair as earlier, staring out the window with his back to the door. Even though she had been announced Kerri made certain she made a little noise as she walked toward him, just to ensure she wouldn’t startle him.  


She came up from behind him, walked around his chair, in front of him, and sat in the chair next to him. She sat down softly, without saying a word and rested her good hand on the arm of her chair – close enough for him to touch her if he so desired. As she waited for him to respond to her presence, she prayed for him, for herself, and for both of them together. She knew that she had received an answer to her prayers when the thought came to her mind – they had, could and always would survive anything, if they faced it together.  


They sat that way for several minutes, enough time for Fairchild to tire of watching. “Is she planning on just sitting there? I have more important things to do.”  


“Give it a little more time, you’ll see. ‘N what ya see may surprise ya.” It’s sure surprised a lot of us over the years, Ray thought.  


After about fifteen minutes Fairchild was about to deem this a failed experiment. But then he saw it – Turnbull moved to touch her hand. He rested his hand on top of hers for another few minutes and then took it and pressed it against his cheek. Fairchild watched as his patient seemed to grow stronger just by the touch of her hand against his skin.  


He and Ray continued to watch, Fairchild with shock and Ray with satisfaction, as Renfield seemed to cuddle against Kerri’s hand.  


It was at least twenty minutes before Renfield spoke, but it was so softly that the microphone in the room barely picked it up. “I’m sorry,” he said.  


Kerri continued to silently wait for whatever Renfield needed. After several more minutes he spoke again, “is it broken?”  


Kerri still didn’t speak, but just nodded. He tried to pull away from her hand on his cheek, but she wouldn’t allow it, not wanting to break this tentative physical connection.  


“Please go,” he whispered as tears started to spill down his cheeks. “I’m afraid of what I –”  


She stood, but not to leave as Fairchild expected. Instead she took Renfield’s hand and pulled him up to stand in front of her. She then put her arms around his waist and a laid her head against his chest. “I love you,” she said.  


They stood that way for a few more minutes before he finally wrapped his arms around her and held on for all he was worth.  


Ray breathed a sigh of relief and Fairchild – well he continued to be shocked.  


“You don’t hate me,” Renfield admitted to himself as he gently pushed away from her. He looked at the cast on her arm and gently took it in his hand. “Does it hurt?”  


Kerri was extremely careful with her answer. “It did, a little. I just take a little ibuprofen and it’s fine,” she whispered.  


He looked into her eyes and saw the truth in them. “I’m sorry.”  


“And so am I. I should have known you needed help,” she whispered as she touched his face. “I love you so much.”  


She pulled him to her again and felt him completely relax in her arms. She held him and gloried in his closeness. She was reminded once again what she had always known – God created them both for only one purpose – to be with each other.  


“And I love you, please help me?”  


Dr. Fairchild stood and announced, “now we’re getting somewhere!” Looking at Ray he said, “how does she do that?”  


“Damned if I know! It’s always been that way with them. She’s in trouble he fixes it, he’s in trouble she fixes it. Sometimes we just scratch our heads ‘n get outta the way!”  


“Ah, but I sense there’s more to it than that with you?”  


“I never stood a chance,” Ray admitted sadly.  


“I’ve got another patient I need to see. Oh,” he said looking at his watch, “right now. Why don’t you go in and sit with them and I’ll speak to all of you in about an hour?”  


Fairchild left and Ray followed him out, Fairchild heading toward the elevator and Ray toward room 2.  


Renfield and Kerri were still standing in each other’s arms when Ray entered the room.  


“Jeez,” he joked, “you two need ta get a room!” He was so happy to see them together he could only grin.  


They pulled away from each other, somewhat embarrassed.  


“Thank you for coming, Ray,” Turnbull whispered as he hung his head. “It means a lot to me.” Then he looked up and smiled slightly, “and it means even more to me that you didn’t do as I asked.”  


“Hey! I had a little to do with that too!” Kerri exclaimed. “But I am grateful that you showed up when you did, Ray. Fairchild would have never listened to me if it hadn’t been for you,”  


“What’d ya do ta him? He sure didn’t think much a you.”  


“I think I yelled at him when he wouldn’t let me see Renny…rather loudly, I’m afraid.” Both men were shocked. Kerri rarely yelled at anyone, and even less frequently lost her temper. She could tell by the looks on their faces she needed to explain and clear her rep. “He got in the way of my being with you!” she hugged her husband.  


Ray laughed out loud. “Woe be ta anyone who gets in the way of a woman tryin’ ta get ta her man!”  


“I need to apologize to him, I guess.”  


Renfield grinned at her and hugged her back. “Since he’s going to be treating me that’s probably a good idea,” he chuckled. Then he grew serious – deadly serious.  


“You know I may need to stay here for a while. I don’t know –’  


“Why don’t ya wait ta hear what the doc has ta say before jumpin’ ta any conclusions,” Ray advised.  


“Could we sit down now? My arm sort of hurts.”  


“You got ibuprofen in that suitcase ya call a purse? I’ll get ya some water.” Ray went to find a watercooler.  


Renfield stared at her cast, hating himself for what he’d done. Since they were alone for a couple of minutes, he felt he needed to broach the subject once again. “I am so sorry I hurt you! I never meant to –”  


“Of course, you didn’t!” she hesitated. “Blaming you is sort of like blaming Deuce for letting me trip over him and knock over the lamp.”  


“Thank you, but it’s not quite the same thing,” he smiled.  


Kerri finally took a minute to survey her surroundings. As she did, she saw a coffee bar in the far corner. Ray had left the room to find water and there it was right across from where he’d been standing. Bless his heart, he’d known it was there but left the room – to allow them to have a little alone time. Ray could sometimes be dense, but often perceptive – very perceptive.  


“He’s just allowing us to be alone for a bit,” Renfield said with a sly grin. Renfield could also be very perceptive. “Are you going to take that ibuprofen?”  


“Not until Ray gets back. I don’t want to ruin his good intentions!”  


“You’re a good person, Kerri,” he teased.  


“I think your doctor might disagree with that!”  


Renfield’s mood changed immediately and Kerri was terribly sorry she had reminded him of what was coming. “Maybe Fairchild will have a pill to fix this whole thing,” she offered.  


“One can only hope,” he sighed. But neither of them believed what they were saying.  


When Ray returned, he had a paper cup of water and she took the ibuprofen. She really hoped it worked quickly because her arm was really beginning to hurt.  


“Maybe you should ask your doctor for something a little stronger?”  


“No!” Ray exclaimed. Renfield looked from Ray to Kerri – and did not at all like the look that passed between them. He was obviously not privy to some secret they shared, and he was not pleased. But that was something for another time. For now, he was able to let the matter drop.  


Something did occur to him, however. “Have you been in touch with Patrick?” he asked Kerri.  


“Yeah, I left him a message. I just told him you were in the hospital and you’d call him when you could.”  


“He’s not going to let this drop, you know. He likes to be in charge of everything.”  


“I’ll call Tom after our meeting with Fairchild and ask him to explain to Patrick.” Kerri tried to reassure Renfield, the last thing he needed right now was a chat with his boss.  


“Patrick and Tom’s yer bosses?”  


“Yes,” Renfield said. “You might remember Patrick from the press conference.”  


“I don’t know that I got this straight. Yer still a Mountie, right?”  


“He’s a sergeant now!” Kerri smiled with pride.  


“It’s really in name only.”  


“No, it’s not! You earned your rank! And I’m proud of it and you should be too!”  


“I didn’t –”  


“Don’t you dare do that, Renfield Turnbull. You – what?” she looked at Ray to see him grinning.  


“I love it when you two fight – ‘n I’m not the reason,” he chuckled.  


“We’re not fighting!” Kerri demanded.  


“Arguing then, whatever. It’s adorable,” Ray continued to laugh.  


Renfield didn’t think he had ever heard Ray used the word ‘adorable’ and it made him smile.  


“I’m still a Mountie but I work with the CAFC and Kerri is still a civilian but she works for the RCMP. Make sense?” he continued to grin.  


“Nothin’ bout Canadians makes sense ta me, but what else is new.”  


The three of them seemed to realize at the same time that this easy banter between them was something they all had missed. And had despaired of every having again.  


About 5pm Ruth poked her head in the door to tell them Dr. Fairchild was able to see Renfield.  


“I’d like for Kerri to come, if that’s possible,” he asked.  


“The doctor would like to see you privately, at first. After that interview is completed, then Mrs. Turnbull will join you – and Mr. Kowalski, if you’d like. In the meantime, you both can wait in the family waiting area.”  


Renfield cast a fleeting glance over his shoulder at Kerri, before being led from the room. Kerri thought he looked very pitiful – sort of like a lamb being led to the slaughter.  


Ray took her hand led her to the waiting room.

Chapter 3

“Please have a seat, Mr. Turnbull. Or do you prefer Renfield – or Sergeant?”  


“Renfield is fine, thank you Sir,” Renfield said as he sat in a chair in front of the Doctor’s desk.  


“And how about if you call me Mark?” Fairchild looked at a few papers on his desk and then looked at Renfield. “Let’s talk,” he said, leaning back in his chair. “Tell me about yourself.”  


“I’m not sure what you want to know…I didn’t mean to hurt my wife…”  


“I already know that. How about you tell me something I don’t know?” he asked. “Like how you met your wife?”  


Renfield smiled. That was a story he never tired of reliving. “We met at the Canadian Consulate in Chicago when I was posted there. That was over four years ago. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen, and I could not believe she was interested in me! I loved her from the moment I laid eyes on her.  


“I think she took about one day longer. I just couldn’t believe she wanted me.”  


“You’ve said that twice,” Mark said. “Why couldn’t you believe she would be interested in you?”  


“She’s so beautiful and so smart! And Constable Fraser always had all the women eating out of his hand. I just assumed she would be attracted to him. I’d had so many issues in my past that sort of affected my self-confidence.”  


“Constable Fraser was your co-worker?”  


“And my mentor.”  


“So, you thought he deserved to win the pretty girl.” It was not a question.  


But Renfield responded anyway. “I did at the time,” he admitted.  


“What kind of issues did you have in your past? That would make you uninteresting, to the pretty girl?”  


“I’d been married,” Renfield said. “She and our 3-year-old daughter were killed in a hit and run accident about ten years ago.”  


Mark was taking notes as Renfield spoke but stopped at the mention of the accident. “I sorry to hear that.”  


“Thank you,” he muttered. “I didn’t handle it very well. I retreated into myself and became sort of a shell of myself. Ray once said he thought I was goofy, the Goofy Mountie.”  


“But you worked through that?”  


“Kerri brought me out of my hiding place. She and I have a unique relationship.”  


“I’ve seen that,” he muttered. “Have you always had an issue with nightmares?”  


“I started having some doozies after the accident. After a while they subsided. They started again after I uh…”  


“After?”  


“After I shot my brother – my twin brother.”  


Again, Mark stopped writing. “You shot your twin brother? Please tell me how that came to happen.”  


“We were separated at birth. I didn’t even know he existed until he kidnapped Kerri and tried to – to rape and murder her. He was part of a Canadian crime syndicate. “I left Kerri for a while after that, but I found my way back to her and she eventually forgave me for leaving her.”  


“And the dreams continued?” Mark asked.  


“Once I got back with Kerri, I don’t think so. I don’t remember, but I’m sure Kerri would have said something.”  


“And then you went undercover?”  


“After a while, yes. I only agreed to it because it was supposed to be a short assignment.”  


“That turned into much more?”  


“Yes.”  


“Well,” Mark announced, “why don’t we get your wife in here and I will lay out a tentative treatment plan?” He called for Ruth but when she didn’t answer he was reminded of the time. Ruth had long ago ended her workday. He picked up the phone and connected with the reception desk. “Could you please have Mrs. Turnbull come to my office.”  


“Do you know what’s wrong with me, Doctor? Why I hurt my wife?”  


“Possibly –” at that moment Kerri rushed into the room.  


Mark smiled at her as she came to an abrupt halt just inside the door. “Please come the rest of the way in. I won’t bite.”  


Kerri was immediately contrite. One of the last times she had spoken to the Doctor she had almost bitten his head off.  


“Please have a seat Mrs. Turnbull. Renfield and I have just been talking about his extraordinary life. And you are a big part of that.” He looked at his notes and then up at them both. “I have some suggestions for a treatment plan. First, I would like for you to have a sleep study. To that end I’ve made arrangements for that to happen tonight.” Seeing the look on Kerri’s face, Mark felt he should explain. “A sleep study will allow us to monitor Renfield’s dream state. It’s non-invasive and won’t be distressing for him. All he needs to do is wear a few electrodes and fall asleep. The sleep study will help us ascertain if there are any underlying physical issues contributing to your not being able to sleep properly.  


“Renfield, I’ve only known you a very brief while and we have much more to talk about, but my preliminary diagnosis is night terrors brought on by PTSD. From the little you’ve told me so far; I think you have always have the proclivity toward nightmares. Your time spent undercover has worsened an already mild case of PTSD and brought on the night terrors. I also want to initiate CBT. That stands for cognitive-behavior therapy.”  


“Will he need to stay here for that?” Kerri asked, while desperately trying to hold back tears.  


“For a few days, yes,” he said, looking at Renfield. “There are a few drug therapies we will try before you’re allowed to go home. That’s more for your wife’s safety. Renfield, you are not in control of your actions while you are sleeping, and we don’t want Kerri to accidentally get in the way of a nightmare.  


“You two are obviously very deeply connected and I certainly don’t want to be the reason you are kept apart – that might be unhealthy – for me!” He looked at Kerri and smiled. “We will get him home just as quickly and safely as possible.  


“There are many studies on PTSD and several treatments. We may need to try different methods to find something that will work for you. Hypnotherapy is another alternative. This is not going to be easy, and it will require your remembering many things that you have tried desperately to forget, but the three of us will get through this together.”  


There was a light knock on his door and Mark called, “come in.”  


“Renfield and Kerri Turnbull, this is Matthew Lewis. He’s going to monitor your sleep study. If you don’t have any questions Renfield, you can go with Matthew now. Kerri, if you don’t mind, I’d like to speak to you for just a bit longer.”  


Renfield stood and pulled Kerri up and into a tight hug. “See you tomorrow?” he asked plaintively.  


“I’ll be here!” she smiled as best she could and Renfield and Matthew left the office.  


“He’ll be fine! Please have a seat,” the Doctor said.  


“Could I say something?" Kerri asked softly. "I am terribly sorry about being so emotional with you the other day. I should have never shouted at you and I apologize.”  


“And I should not have reacted the way I did! It was unprofessional of me,” he admitted. “So now we can concentrate on helping Renfield. Tell me a little of what you know of Renfield’s nightmares.”  


Kerri thought about it for a while. “Obviously, they’ve gotten worse. We were apart for two years and I don’t know much about what happened during that time. He was whipped and tortured – is it going to be necessary for him to relive that? He’s tried so hard to get past it!”  


“Ah, but that’s the point, isn’t it? He’s unable to get past it on his own. He needs our help. The fact that he survived at all amazes me.”  


“He doesn’t seem to thrash about while he’s dreaming,” she said. “He wakes up if startled and lashes out. He might not even realize it if he’s sleeping alone. The violence has only happened three times since we’ve been back together and all three times, he’s been startled out of a sound sleep. In fact, I think the actual violent act happened while he was still asleep.”  


Again, Mark stopped his note taking. “This is extremely helpful. Tell me about these violent acts.”  


“The first time was the second night he stayed with me after two years. He’d come back to try to make amends and found me right in the middle of a severe panic attack. The ER doctor –”  


“Wait a minute. You were having a panic attack?”  


“Yes, and before you ask, I am in treatment,” she smiled.  


“Who’s your therapist?”  


“Dr. Eugene Giroux.”  


“Good man. You’re in good hands. You need to let him know about all of this,” he said, looking pointedly at the cast on her arm.  


“I intend to, just as soon as this matter with Renny is handled.”  


“Has this ‘matter’ as you say caused you to have any attacks?” he asked, while starting to write again.  


“Yes. But I’m fine, I’m just worried about Renfield.”  


Mark made a note to call Gene Giroux tomorrow, just to ensure that he knew what was going on with his patient.  


“You were about to tell me about Renfield’s violent acts.”  


“The second night he was at my house he slept in a recliner in the living room. I went to check on him and touched his face. He shouted ‘no!’ and grabbed my wrist and twisted it so hard I cried out in pain and he woke up. He was so ashamed he cried.  


“The second time we were in a hotel room after we uncovered an embezzlement scandal and the press was hunting us. Renfield had fallen asleep in a chair and me on my bed. My cell rang – startling us both. He bolted up and grabbed the phone and threw it against the far wall, cursing like I had never heard him curse. And then he woke up and cried again.”  


“But he didn’t touch you?”  


“NO!” Kerri exclaimed. “Sorry,” she said more quietly. “This last time I think you know about?”  


“Not specifically,” he said.  


“Well, I came home from work very late. Renfield was asleep and I accidentally fell against my nightstand and knocked over the lamp. He jumped up and grabbed my wrist. He was shouting over and over something like “no más por favor détente”. I think that’s Spanish.”  


“It is.”  


“He didn’t mean to hurt me!”  


Once again Mark laid his pen down. “Kerri, you have got to stop apologizing for him. And definitely stop thinking that you are in some way responsible for his issues. It’s not good for you and it is really not good for him.” At her questioning look he continued, “the more you apologize for him the more he is going to think he has something to be sorry for. We all know he didn’t mean to hurt you – let’s just leave it at that, okay?”  


Kerri suddenly realized he was right. She had unknowingly undermined any progress Renfield might have made. Now she was sorry for being sorry.  


“You two care deeply for one another, that’s obvious by the way you take on each other’s burdens as your own. That is a good thing – to a point. Renfield has had a heavy load to carry his entire life and it’s too much for him. Too much for both of you to carry.  


“I’ve got one other question and then we’ll but this long day at an end. How did Renfield handle the aftermath of killing his brother?”  


“He told you about that?”  


“Only in passing. I didn’t want to question him about it, yet.”  


“René was evil. Pure evil. They were identical but it was like they were polar opposites. For as good and kind as Renfield was René was just, well evil about covers it. Renfield found out, while we were on our honeymoon, that he had a twin, that the woman who raised him was not his biological mother and his father, who he idolizes had lied to him his entire life. René kidnapped me and threatened to rape and kill me to Renfield’s face.” She shuddered and came close to tears.  


“I apologize if this is too much for you –”  


“If this will help Renfield you need to know all of it!” She shook off her tears and began again. “He held me at gunpoint and…well Renfield was able to struggle with him and the gun went off and René died.”  


“That must have been very hard on you.”  


“Yes. He had beaten me badly but Renfield just couldn’t help me. He couldn’t bear to look at me and once we got home, he took off.”  


“Do you know –”  


“He told me later that he couldn’t handle the thought that every time I looked at him, I’d see the evil René. But I believe the truth was he thought since René was his identical twin there must be the same evil in him too. It took me a long time to convince him that there was no evil in him.”  


“It sounds to me like Renfield has had his own live in therapist since the day you two met!”  


Kerri smiled. “Do you believe in God, Doctor?” She could tell by the look on his face he did not want to answer that question. “I do, that is we do. I think God knew that life was going to bring us many things we wouldn’t be able to endure. So, he created each of us to help the other. I hope that doesn’t sound too simplistic because it certainly has never been simple. But we can handle much, much more together than we could have ever handled apart. I completely believe that’s why Renfield came back into my life on the day – the very day that I might not have survived that horrible panic attack. And that’s why I’m here now. I certainly don’t know everything that you need to know to treat him, but I think there are many things that I can you tell you that Renfield might not even think of.”  


“That will come with a lot more therapy. Why don’t you go home now and come back in the morning? Matthew will be analyzing the data he gets overnight, and we should know a lot more by the time the sleep study is done. If you come around 8:00am you can have breakfast with Renfield.”  


“Thank you for helping us,” Kerri said as she left.  


Fairchild continued to sit as his desk, staring pensively into space. He knew Sergeant Turnbull had a rough time ahead, having to relive the horrors of his past – especially his time in Colombia. He’d heard and treated many horror stories in his years of practice and knew that in the days and weeks to come he’d be hearing some of the worst of them.  


“Hey,” Kerri whispered to Ray as he dozed in the waiting room.  


“Hey,” he responded as he rubbed his hands over his face. “Sorry for fallin’ asleep. Been a long day. How’s Turnbull?”  


“He’s having a sleep study tonight. And then I can come back and see him in the morning. Could you drive me home?”  


“Course! Where’s yer car?”  


“Home. I took a taxi to the hospital.”  


“Let’s stop ‘n get something ta eat. How about just goin’ back ta that diner? I’m parked real close ta there.”  


“Sounds good to me.”  


Kerri made sure the reception desk had her contact info, mentioned that they would be stopping at the diner before going home just in case and then they left. They walked to the diner in silence, Ray not wanting to intrude on Kerri’s thoughts. He eyed her surreptitiously, watching for any signs of upset or a panic attack, but but was pleased to see nothing like that. She looked exhausted, but that was it.

Once they had been shown to a booth and the waitress brought them waters Ray asked, “did the doc give you any info? Any diagnosis?”

“It’s like you thought – night terrors. But brought on by PTSD.” She fought the tears forming in her eyes – she was not going to let herself cry! She would NOT do that! Looking directly at Ray she admitted, “his time undercover must have been so much worse than I knew! It sounds like he buried all the truly horrific stuff so deeply even he couldn’t remember it.”  


“What’s this sleep study thing supposed ta do?”  


“They’re just checking to make sure he doesn’t have any underlying physical conditions.” Finally, the tears won out and started to spill down her cheeks. Ray grabbed her hand and held on tightly. “I’m so scared for him! He’s going to have to relive all of that! The doctor even asked me about René! Renfield told him about some of it, but the doctor wanted to know more. God Ray! It’s going to kill him to have to remember all of that!”  


“The doc will take care a that,” Ray tried to reassure her. “They know how ta do stuff ta make it easier. Turnbull needs ta talk about what happened – ta get it out in the light a day and learn ta deal with it. He needs ta tell someone stronger than us – stronger than the people who love him. Someone who’s impartial.”  


“So, you love him?” Kerri grinned through the tears.  


“I guess so,” he admitted. “We all lost our way for a while, but I’m worried ‘bout him too. We need ta do whatever we can ta help,” with that he broke into a huge smile. “Hey Fraser!”  


Kerri looked up to see the thousand-watt smile of Benton Fraser. “Ben!” Kerri cried jumping up and throwing her arms around him. “I’m so glad you’re here!” She released him from her arms and asked, “why are you here?”  


They both sat down in the booth before he answered. “Ray left me about 40 text messages that said, ‘Turnbull needs help’. So, I came.”  


Kerri grinned at them both. “You’re both here! Now I know everything is going to be all right!”  


“What happened to your arm?” Ben asked.  


“Turnbull,” Ray whispered.  


“What?! No!”  


“He checked himself in to the hospital around the corner. He’s been diagnosed with PTSD related night terrors,” Kerri admitted.  


“I can’t believe he’d ever hurt you! It certainly wasn’t intentional.”  


Kerri grinned again. “Thank you, both of you, for caring so much for him. Right now, I think he’s very ashamed and embarrassed. He’ll get past that, past it all, it’s just going to take some time.”  


“Is he able to have visitors?” Fraser asked.  


“I don’t know. He’s having a sleep study tonight and then the doctor wants me to come in in the morning. I’ll ask.”  


The waitress brought the orders for Ray and Kerri and asked Fraser what he would like. Ray spoke up and said, “he’ll have the pemmican.”  


“Sorry, we don’t have pemmican on the menu,” their waitress said in all seriousness.  


“He’s just trying to be funny. He’s American,” Fraser whispered as the waitress nodded knowingly. “I’ll have a cheeseburger and fries.”  


There wasn’t much conversation while they ate. Kerri asked Ben where he’d come into Toronto from and how long it had taken him to get here and that was about it.  


Once they had finished eating Ray asked, “ya got room for both a us ta spend the night?”  


“Sure! We just recently moved again, so you might need to help set up beds, but yes plenty of room.”  


“You moved from that lovely old house in Scarborough?” Ben asked.  


Kerri sighed. “Renfield’s caught the renovation bug. He loved fixing up my house in Edmonton and then the one in Scarborough, but once he was done, he was ready to move on to a bigger project. I made him promise once this house is done, we’d stay put. We bought a rather large Victorian closer to downtown.”  


“So ya like livin’ in a construction zone?” Ray asked.  


“I like it because it makes Renfield happy, doing that kind of work. I’m just not sure what he’s going to feel like doing now, though,” she sighed.  


“Maybe working on his project will be a sort of therapy for him?” Ben suggested.  


Kerri smiled briefly. “Well, in the meantime, I live in a construction zone whether I like it or not.” She tried to put a positive spin on it, but both men could tell the house was a source of contention between her and Turnbull.  


“Maybe I could take some time once Turnbull is feeling up to it and help him with the renovations? I’d like to do that.” Fraser said.  


Kerri smiled at him. “I think Renfield would like that very much!” She chuckled, remembering ‘the guys’ renovating the 3rd floor of the bookshop. It was a hoot to watch them injuring themselves and her running the M*P*S*H – the Mobile Police Surgical Hospital with bandages, ointments, and tweezers for lots and lots of splinters.  


“Whatchya grinnin’ at?” Ray asked.  


“I was just remembering when you all helped Renfield renovate the 3rd floor apartment in the bookshop. It was such a different time.”  


Ray saw it begin and grabbed her hand. The melancholy threatened to overwhelm her – but she fought it off and did not allow it to take hold of her.  


“Better?”  


“My therapist said to not dwell on the past, but sometimes even the happy memories get to me. It’s gone now, thanks.”  


Worried looks passed between Ray and Fraser, but neither of them said a word.  


After a few moments Kerri’s phone rang and both men at the table knew immediately who was calling – Kerri’s face lit up as brightly as the screen on her phone. “Hi!” she answered. “I didn’t expect to hear from you tonight. Is everything okay?”  


“Just wanted to hear your voice and tell you I’m okay.”  


“Are you comfortable?”  


“Yeah. I have a small room, sort of like a sparse hotel room, but with a TV. I’m going to try to go to sleep pretty soon, I’m really tired. How’s your arm feeling?”  


“It’s a little sore, but not bad. Guess who’s here?”  


“Who?”  


“Ben! He says hi. Is there someone there with you?”  


“I’m going to have to go. Matthew just came in with papers for me to fill out. Are you coming in the morning?”  


“YES! I’ll be there at 8:00. Dr Fairchild said we could have breakfast together. Renfield?”  


“Yes?”  


“I love you,” she whispered.  


“Me too!” With that Renfield ended the call.  


“He doin’ okay?”  


“Yes, he sounded very upbeat.”  


Ray and Fraser knew she was trying to put a brave face on it, but she was scared to death.

Chapter 4

Once they were finished with dinner, they all went to Kerri’s house. Fraser had been to their house in Scarborough and thought it to be a cozy and comfortable, perfectly suiting the Turnbulls. He was anxious to see what Turnbull had come up with this time.  


He was rather surprised to see the new house. It was a huge Victorian, much larger than the Scarborough house and obviously in need of a lot of TLC. As Kerri directed Ray where to park, Fraser could see from the faded exterior paint that this house had once been a painted lady. The various colors were almost imperceptible now, but once upon a time this Queen Anne Victorian must have had at least seven different colors of paint. He wondered if Turnbull intended to restore those colors.  


“It’s been a painted lady,” he remarked. “I’ll bet it was beautiful in its day. Do you plan on restoring the original colors?”  


“Renfield’s been dealing with the Toronto Preservation Board. They will give us several color schemes to choose from, or we can have all the different colors tested to see what they originally looked like. That is extremely expensive, so I’m holding out for the Board to give us choices,” she said as they walked up the sidewalk. “Be careful on the steps, one of them is broken.  


“Sorry about the mess,” she apologized as she unlocked the front door.  


“Ya weren’t kiddin’ about just movin’ in!” Ray exclaimed as he almost fell over a mattress right inside the door.  


“We’ve been here,” she said just as something large and black launched at her. “Deuce! Down!”  


The pup sat down with a thud and a plaintive look on his face.  


“Sorry, sweetie, but you can’t be jumping on my arm,” she apologized and bent to let him give her a makeup kiss. His tail stopped wagging as he realized she wasn’t alone. When he looked at Fraser it started wagging again – but then stopped dead when he looked at Ray. He growled low in his throat and glared at the nervous one.  


“What is it with you and dogs? Kerri giggled. “Deuce this is Ray, he’s nice…once you get to know him.”  


“I like dogs! Just not when they pee on my boots – like that other one used ta do!”  


“His name is Dickens and he’s Deuce’s big brother!” Kerri said, giving the pup a big hug. She picked up the squirming puppy as best she could, given her casted arm, to introduce him to Ben.  


“We’ve met,” Ben said, scratching him behind his big, floppy ears. “But you were much smaller then.”  


“Let me get him something to eat and then I’ll show you around. Be careful you don’t fall over anything,” she called over her shoulder, looking pointedly at Ray.  


“Don’t say it!”  


“What?!”  


“You were going to start complaining about dogs! We Canadians happen to love our dogs, even if one of them is half wolf!”  


“I may just have to ‘member that ya called Dief a dog. He might like ta know that!” Ray muttered.  


Fraser wandered away from Ray, fascinated by what he saw. On either side of the wide entry hall were two large rooms, the one to the left must have been the parlor, with the other, slightly smaller, the dining room. On the left toward the back of the foyer was a grand staircase and to the right of that a hallway that led to the back of the house.  


Kerri rejoined them in just a few minutes, with Deuce tagging along. “A friend’s been feeding him, so he wasn’t really interested in food. Just some water and he’s ready to socialize.”  


Great, Ray thought, that water’s gonna come out right on my feet!  


“Ya never said how long ya’ve been here?”  


“Not quite a month,” Kerri said. “We’ve only been able to completely unpack the kitchen and master bedroom.”  


“How many bedrooms,” Ben muttered as he ran his hand over the wallpaper and stared at the ceiling of the parlor.  


“Lord! You sound just like Renfield. He did the same things you’re doing now. Plaster’s in good shape all over the house except for one bedroom that’s had lots of water damage from the leaky roof, although I have no idea how we’re going to get all this wallpaper down. The ceilings were beautiful, or so I’m told. It’s going to take an army and huge amounts of cash to get them back to the way they should be. Four bedrooms, by the way, but only two baths. Apparently, Victorians didn’t find it necessary to put facilities downstairs.”  


Lost in thought, Fraser had moved down the hall. “The woodwork on these stairs is gorgeous. Refinishing them will be quite a job, but, oh my, will they look beautiful once they’re redone!” he said to know one in paticular.  


Ray was bored to distraction. To him this old house was a dump that needed to be torn down. The floors were uneven, the casings on most all of the windows that he could see were rotten and even he knew that the smell that assailed his nose was from some sort of animal who had taken up residence somewhere – probably in the walls – and died there.  


Kerri was surprised. Not by Ray, she knew this sort of thing would be a snooze for him, but she was surprised by Ben. His reaction to this house was exactly as Renfield’s had been. They both saw the master craftsmanship, the attention to detail, and the history that this house represented. And they also saw the potential here. Kerri wished she had that kind of vision.  


“If you guys don’t mind lugging mattresses upstairs, I know I can find some sheets in a box – around here somewhere. Just don’t go into the bedroom in the tower on the left. That’s where the water damage is, and we’re worried about that floor.”  


Kerri left to look through boxes and Ray and Fraser took the first of the box springs upstairs. There was already a frame leaning against the wall, so they centered it against the wall and dropped the box springs onto it.  


“This place’s a death trap! How’s she gonna manage with Turnbull in the hospital AND a broken arm? She can’t stay here – I’m gonna talk ta her –”  


“Wait!” Fraser commanded while grabbing Ray by the sleeve.  


“I’m just gonna tell her I’m stayin’ for a while – ta help –”  


“As will I,” Fraser agreed, “but don’t you think we should seek permission from our superiors before promising to help?”  


Ray absolutely hated it when Fraser was right.  


While Fraser left a message for Inspector Thatcher, Ray called Lieutenant Welsh. Welsh really liked Turnbull and Kerri and when he heard what was going on his only comment was – “take what you need and tell Turnbull to get his butt outta the hospital ASAP”.  


Fraser was relieved that he was able to leave a message, rather than speak with the Inspector. She wouldn’t want to speak with him anyway, and he felt the same. Their relationship had recently ended – and this time it was for good. So, his message simply said he was in Toronto and would be staying for a while. Renfield and Kerri needed his help and he didn’t know how long it would take. He figured Kerri would tell Meg anything else she wanted Meg to know.  


While Ray and Ben were making calls upstairs, Kerri called Tom Rigby. She explained exactly what had happened, how her wrist was broken and where Renfield was now. She told him everything including his night terrors brought on by PTSD. She didn’t blame his undercover work, specifically, but she asked for time off and then asked if he could call Patrick.  


Once Tom recovered from his shock and asked for more details about Renfield, he agreed to everything she needed. He’d give Patrick a call at home and they would make all the arrangements for time off for both Turnbulls. Before they ended their call, Tom made Kerri promise to give him frequent updates on Renfield’s condition.  


After she ended her call, Kerri stood in the middle of the parlor and tried, unsuccessfully, not to cry. She surveyed her surroundings but all she saw was work – lots and lots of work. She hadn’t wanted to move here – the house was too expensive with far too much to do. But Renfield was so excited after he saw it, so she’d agreed to at least run the numbers. He’d promised he’d do all the work, except the plumbing and the roof, and she could do as little or as much as she liked. He’d promised! So, once she checked their finances, she agreed.  


She heard Ben and Ray moving around upstairs and thanked God they were here. She swiped away her tears and went to the kitchen to make coffee. She smiled as she glanced at Renfield’s lovingly restored range. It might have come from her old house in Edmonton, but the moment he laid eyes on it he claimed it as his own. Just as he had done with this kitchen. For as rundown as the house was overall, the kitchen was extremely dirty but needed surprisingly little work to be done otherwise. So, right now the kitchen was the only spic ‘n span spotless room in the house.  


The smell of coffee brought Fraser and Ray back downstairs and into the kitchen.  


“Hey! This room looks good! Really good,” Ray exclaimed. The rest of the house looked like crap, but this kitchen was great. “Turnbull do this?”  


“You know Renfield and kitchens. At least we’ve been able to eat since we’ve been here.”  


“How about some help unpacking?” Ben asked.  


“Thanks for the offer, but it’s going to take forever to get all our stuff…” she suddenly realized she wasn’t going to be able to move a thing, not with her arm in a cast. She sighed deeply.  


“Ya need help – we’re it!”  


“What Ray, my loquacious friend, means is that we can both stay for a while and help get you settled.”  


“Really?!” She was so tickled she almost jumped up and down. “I am so, uh, so…”  


“Speechless?” Ray grinned and she nudged him in the side, forgetting the cast on her arm. “Ouch, that thing’s hard!”  


Fraser laughed and Kerri apologized. “Sorry!”  


Suddenly Kerri grew serious. “I’m really grateful, but I’m not sure…”  


“How Renfield will feel about us doing this?” Kerri nodded as Ben continued, “I considered that. How about if we get all your furniture in place and unpack the boxes. Maybe, by then, he will be released and the four of us can do some of the work on the house? I don’t think he will object to our helping you, since you are unable to do it yourself. We just want to be sure we’re not doing anything that might make him feel guilty.”  


“I don’t know if you know it or not, but you two are the best friends anyone ever had!”  


“Why don’t Ray and I finish getting the beds upstairs and then you can get a good night’s sleep?”  


While they were manhandling the mattresses up the stairs Kerri found the box she had labeled ‘linens’. After Ray opened the box for her she hauled out two sets of sheets and a couple of lightweight blankets.  


“We’ll make our own beds, why don’t ya get some rest? You takin’ any ibuprofen for yer arm? Make sure ya do that! Ya won’t be able ta sleep if it’s hurtin’.”  


“Yes mommy,” Kerri kidded. “But you’re right, it is sort of hard to sleep with this cast on, and it hurting like it does.”  


“If ya think it might help, ask the doc for something ta help ya sleep. He’ll understand.”  


“Okay,” she said, but really didn’t think she would ask for anything. Having any kind of prescription drugs in the house made her very uneasy.  


They each retired to their own rooms, but none of them slept. Fraser never slept much anyway, but his concern for his friends and the state of this house filled his mind far too much to relax.  


Ray’s mind was pretty much occupied with the same troubles, but as always Kerri’s wellbeing was at the forefront. He knew she would always love Turnbull, there was just no denying that, but loving him had really taken a toll on her. Ray had hoped that her panic attacks were at least behind her, but he’d been disappointed.  


Kerri just couldn’t get comfortable. She had worked on this room while Renfield worked on the kitchen, but she’d only gotten it habitable. There were still several things that needed to be done to make it the cozy oasis she hoped for. She sat in bed with one of Renfield’s sketch pads in front of her trying to draw out a plan for Ray and Ben to arrange the furniture, but right now all she could do was stare at the peeling paint on the ceiling and the wallpaper that was faded and torn. She just didn’t share Renny’s vision for this house, and that made her so sad.  


She knew most of his plans and had agreed to all of them. Not because she loved them as he did, but more because she loved him and would do anything to make him happy. Now she was sort of stuck with a house that was just this side of dangerous, an ill husband and a broken arm. She grimaced as she shifted positions. Man! She hoped this arm healed quickly – for about a hundred and one reasons.  


About 5am Kerri heard someone in the kitchen, so she decided now was as good a time as any to begin what might prove to be an incredibly stressful day. Wrapping herself in the pink bathrobe that Renny had given her years ago she made her way to the kitchen.  


“Good morning!” she greeted Ben.  


“Good morning!” Ben responded, while looking through cupboards.  


“What are you hunting for?”  


“Well, I thought I’d make some tea, but I can’t seem to find any.”  


“Ah! Take a look at this.” She led him to a set of swinging doors fitted with brass kick-and push plates, just past Renfield’s range. “He, that is we, have a butler’s pantry!” The doors opened into a fairly large room that held furnishings that consisted of, in part, a small dresser that held a pair of lead sinks with folding covers and wall mounted faucets for hot and cold water above it. In Victorian days it would be used for washing the good crystal and china. He guessed the room was about 3x4m with a high ceiling and large floor to ceiling built-in cupboards for glass, etc. It also had a moveable table, a very old napkin-press, drawers for table linen, shelving, hat pegs, and a closet that had once been used for sliver plate. In more recent years an area that had originally held the ice box had been converted for the addition of a washing machine. Now the huge cupboards held a surprisingly large selection of coffees and teas. One end of the room had a huge window that overlooked what had once been formal gardens.  


“Oh my! Except for the peeling ceiling and the washing machine area this room is completely original! It’s gorgeous.” Ben forgot about the tea for a moment.  


“You and Renfield really do have the same vision,” she smiled.  


“Yeah, they’re both nuts.” As soon as Ray said the words, he wanted to swallow his tongue. “God, Kerri I didn’t mean, it’s –”  


Kerri smiled at him. “Of course, you didn’t! Good morning Ray,” she said and then hugged him. “Want some tea?”  


“Got any coffee?” he asked sheepishly.  


“Sure!” She grabbed the tea and coffee from the cupboard and returned to the kitchen.  


“When was this house built? That pantry looks like we just went back in time.” Ray asked, trying desperately to change the mood he had created.  


Kerri realized what he was trying to do and wanted to hug him again. Instead she said, “we haven’t gotten the final word – a lot of the original records were destroyed in the great fire in 1904, but everyone seems to agree it must have been about 1895. Most of the houses in this part of town were built about that time.”  


“She’s a grand old lady who needs someone just like Turnbull to bring her back to her glory days!”  


Again, Kerri was reminded of how much Renfield and Ben could see the potential of this house – that she just couldn’t. But she was praying after they could really dig into renovations, she might come to appreciate this ‘grand old lady’.  


“She’s not as grand as some of the houses in the neighborhood, but she must have been quite the gathering place in her day. Renfield would love to host parties here.”  


“And you?” Ben asked, gently.  


Kerri sighed. “I just wish I had his vision,” it was hard for her to admit, “but right now all I see is far too much work to be done.” She started the coffee maker and put the kettle on to boil. “I need to get ready to go see Renfield. She left room in rather a rush, but then came back. “I forgot to tell you. If you want showers, use the one in the master bath. The one in the hall leaks – oh, and there’s towels and stuff in the closet in the bathroom.”  


She left to go upstairs, and Ray and Fraser sat at the kitchen table, Ray with his coffee and Fraser with tea. They sat, each lost in thought for a few minutes.  


Finally, Ray said, “I’m worried ‘bout them – specially Kerri. Turnbull’s got Fairchild ta help, but Kerri’s got ta handle all of this by herself. I’m afraid this is gonna make her sick again. You saw her at the diner, she almost had an attack. I sure as hell can’t leave her alone!”  


“Ray, do you know something that I might also need to know?”  


Ray glanced over his shoulder and lowered his voice. “I promised her I wouldn’t tell anybudy, but I guess that doesn’t include you,” he hesitated. “When we thought Turnbull was dead, she tried…tried ta…” he couldn’t even say it.  


Fraser went cold all over and turned white. Ray didn’t need go any further, Fraser knew what he meant. “But you prevented that,” he whispered. “She’s very lucky to have you as her guardian angel.”  


“Always,” Ray whispered.  


Kerri came back downstairs about 30 minutes later, still wearing her bathrobe. “Um…” she said. “Could one of you help me? I can’t get this sweater on over my cast!” Ray hesitated so Fraser stepped up. When she took off the bathrobe, they could see she was wearing a camisole and therefore wasn’t revealing too much skin. Both men were relieved and that made her smile.  


“You didn’t think – oh, never mind,” she giggled. “I just need you to pull it up to my shoulder, I can’t reach – ah, thanks. Drat, now I can’t get the top buttons.” Fraser buttoned it for her and blushed a lovely shade of pink. “Thanks! After a week or so the doctor is going to put on a half-cast. Then I should be able to function a little more normally.”  


Ray grinned at her. “Yer car is a stick shift,” he stated matter-of-factly.  


“You know that. You love to drive my car.”  


“So?”  


“So, what?”  


“So –” He waited for her to think about it a minute. Ray and Fraser both saw it as the realization struck her. “Honey, you ain’t gonna be able to drive that car. So…?”  


“Ray, could you please drive me to the hospital?”  


She looked so cute when she begged. “Okay, if I have to,” he grinned. “Can we take yer car?”  


Before they left, Kerri showed them the sketch pad with the furniture layout for each room. She couldn’t remember where she’d left the room measurements so the drawings were her best guess for what would fit where.  


“Just remember, don’t put anything in the back bedroom until we can get the floor inspected. I think Renfield has lined up someone to do that this week. Oh, and someone is coming by some time to look at the roof. That has got to be done immediately, and there’s an arborist coming to look at that big maple in the back at the bottom of the garden and –”  


Ray grabbed her good arm and started pulling her out the door. “We’ll figure it out. Let’s go!”  


After Ray and Kerri left, Fraser wandered around the grand old lady. He found his way to the huge back garden and despaired at the jungle that used to be formal Victorian gardens. He’d bet after all the overgrowth was cleared out, they’d find rock work and fountains and just maybe the huge mound of ivy and weeds way back in the bottom of the garden covered a greenhouse or maybe even a summer house.  


He went back into the house, intending to get to work, but still felt the need to wander around the downstairs. Turnbull had repaired the tile backsplash and floor in the kitchen, but the tile in the foyer was still untouched. He could see, under all the dirt, a tile rug that looked pretty much intact. A good cleaning and a few replacements and they’d have a restored Victorian foyer.  


Standing in the foyer he was literally struck with the realization – he loved this house.

Chapter 5

“Ya want me ta drop ya off ‘n find a place ta park? I can wait.”  


“No, I don’t want you to wait around for me, I don’t have any idea how long I’ll be. I’d stay here all day if I could. But maybe they’ll let Renfield come home.” But she doubted it.  


“Call me when ya need a ride,” he called as she started to get out of the car. Before she could slide out, he grabbed her hand. “It’s gonna be okay. He’s gonna be okay,” he said, squeezing her hand. “Don’t worry.”  


Ray drove away as Kerri entered the building. Dr Fairchild had said she and Renfield could meet for breakfast, but she realized as she walked through the glass doors that she didn’t know where that breakfast would be. Just like Ray had done yesterday she went to the information desk and asked.  


The nice young woman who Ray had spoken with directed her to the public café, down the hall and to the right. She hurried down there, found a comfortable place to sit and texted Renfield that she was there.  


While she waited she studied the menu. It was limited, but she did see something she knew Renfield would like – pancakes, bacon, and eggs. She smiled to herself as she waited for him to arrive and prove her right.  


She only had to wait about 5 minutes before Renfield appeared. She grinned and jumped up, throwing her arms around his neck. “I missed you!” she exclaimed. “How are you feeling?” she asked as they sat down.  


“I had a good night. As hospital tests go the sleep study wasn’t bad at all.”  


“Did you get any results?”  


“Why don’t we order?” he asked at the waitress walked up. “I’ll have porridge and tea,” he told her.  


“Same for me,” Kerri said, and as the waitress hurried off, she pouted.  


“What’s wrong?”  


“I had a bet with myself that you’d order pancakes, and bacon and eggs.”  


“Normally, you’d be right, but my stomach is a little jumpy this morning.”  


“Nerves?”  


“Probably.”  


They didn’t have time for much chit-chat before their meal arrived. They ate in silence for a while before Kerri spoke up.  


“You didn’t tell me if you got any results from the test.” It concerned her that he didn’t seem to want to answer.  


Finally, he said, “Matthew explained some stuff to me, but I’d rather let Dr Fairchild tell us together. He wants to see us first thing so if you’re done, why don’t we go up and wait for him to call us?”  


They went to the family waiting room and signed in, preparing to wait for who knew how long before Ruth came to get them. They didn’t even get a chance to sit down.  


“Good morning Mr. and Mrs. Turnbull,” Ruth said brightly. “Dr Fairchild is waiting for you.”  


She showed them into his office, and they sat in the chairs that were becoming far too familiar.  


“Good morning you two!” Dr Fairchild smiled as he came into his office. “Oh, dear. Please don’t look so glum! The world is definitely not coming to an end. Kerri, how’s the arm?”  


“This cast is a pain, literally. But otherwise not too bad.”  


“Very good! You told the truth about how you feel without worrying about upsetting your husband. That’s good.” He opened his laptop and brought up a file. “How about you, Renfield? Did you sleep well?”  


“Yes…but even better after Michael hooked me up to that machine.”  


Kerri looked at him sideways. “What –”  


“We’ll get to that in a minute,” Mark interrupted. “I’m looking at the results of your sleep study. I’m sure Matthew told you that you have a whopper of a case of OSA. That’s Obstructive Sleep Apnea. It’s very pronounced.”  


“But Renfield doesn’t snore. I thought sleep apnea made people snore.”  


“Renfield you are very unique…  


Yep, that would be my Renny, Kerri thought.  


“…you don’t seem to have any of the indicators of the condition – snoring, overweight, physically unfit, etc. You also scored low on the ESS scale. However, you did have several episodes deep dreaming and gasps for air during your study.  


“So, here’s what we’re going to do,” he said, closing the lid of his computer. “For the next few nights, you’ll stay here and begin CPAP therapy. That’s the machine you used last night. CPAP treatment has been shown to be highly effective in the treatment of night terrors brought on by PTSD.  


“That, combined with medication should control your nightmares. Additionally, out-patient, bi-weekly therapy sessions will be necessary. I’ve written you an order for a home use CPAP machine and Kerri can get that for you before you come home. They’re simple to use but both of you will need a little bit of training, probably just fifteen minutes or so.  


“Kerri you can pick up all the CPAP equipment at the Durable Medical Goods department on the ground floor.”  


Renfield hadn’t said much since the doctor came into the office and Kerri was becoming concerned.  


“Do you have any questions you want to ask before we go?”  


“Yes,” he finally spoke up. “Will just using that machine keep me from hurting Kerri again?”  


“Renfield, there are many stages to your recovery, and that’s why you need to stay with us for a few more days. As I told you yesterday, we will not release you until we feel it is safe to do so. But there is no reason to believe that CPAP therapy and medication won’t allow Kerri to be perfectly safe sleeping with you.”  


He turned to look at Kerri, “I believe that together we can work toward that end. But you have got to promise me, both of us, that if you ever feel unsafe you will tell me. Can you promise me that?”  


Kerri took Renfield’s hand and squeezed it. “Something I’ve learned over the last couple of days – this is not just about Renfield, it’s about me too. I need to learn to stop putting Renfield first and consider both of our wellbeing. So yes, if there is any time that I feel unsafe because of his PTSD I can promise you that I will speak up. Loudly. For my good and well as his.”  


“Very well said. Now, you need to have a few more tests and we need to start working on finding a medication that will work for you. Kerri, I know it must be hard to get back and forth with your arm casted, but you probably should go now and then come back around dinner time. Ruth can call you and let you know when. Good?”  


“Fine,” Renfield agreed.  


“Yes, but there’s just one thing. Could I speak to you for just a moment, privately?”  


Renfield did not like that idea at all. “Are you all right?”  


“I’m fine. I just need to ask him a, um, personal question. I’ll see you this evening.” She hugged him and gave him a perfunctory kiss.  


Ruth appeared to take Renfield for those additional tests and he followed her reluctantly.  


“What do you need?” Mark asked.  


“Two things, actually.” She began, “first, our friends are staying at the house and would like to come visit, Is that possible?”  


“I’d rather they didn’t. He’s probably not going to be here long and we’re going to be busy getting him ready to greet the world again.”  


“I’m actually glad you said that. One of our friends is Renfield’s idol. A man he has always tried to impress and emulate. I doubt Renfield would want Benton to see him here.”  


Ah, Mark thought, the handsome Mountie who deserved to win the pretty girl. “I think you’re right. And the other thing?”  


“We recently moved into a rundown old Victorian house –”  


“The one on Berkeley Street? I grew up not far from there. That house is in really in rough shape.”  


Don’t I know it, she thought. “That’s it. Anyway, Renfield was really looking forward to renovating it – me, not so much. But now I can’t even unpack our moving boxes. Ray and Ben would like to help with that and stay around long enough to begin the renovations. But we’re not sure if that would be a good thing for Renfield. We’re worried that he might feel ineffectual.”  


“Always Renfield’s best interests? I’ll talk to him about it. We’re going to start therapy this afternoon and do that every day while he’s here. Why don’t you have your friends, ah – is Ray the gentleman I met yesterday? Are the two of you comfortable with him staying in your house? And more to the point will Renfield be comfortable with that arrangement?”  


Boy, this guy doesn’t miss a trick! Kerri thought. “Did Renfield tell you –”  


“No, your friend did. When you and he were in my office. He was just a little too adamant in your regard.”  


“We’ve all made peace with the situation, pretty much. Renfield will be fine with it, as long as Ben is there too.”  


“As I was about to say, before I interrupted myself – Why don’t you have your friends unpack and move furniture to get you settled. Renfield shouldn’t have a problem with that, they’re just trying to make you comfortable. As far as the renovations go, I’ve seen that house! He’s going to need all the help he can get. I will speak with him. We must be careful – we don’t want him to blame himself for putting too much of a burden on you, but we also don’t want him to feel, as you say, ineffectual.  


“I know Renfield is good at blaming himself for a great many things. That is something we will be working on over the next weeks and months. I hope that you understand this is not going to be easy for either of you. We are probably going to initiate hypnotherapy and he will have to remember what happened to him while undercover. That is not going to be pretty, but it is absolutely necessary for his healing. What?” he asked seeing a look of realization on her face.  


“I just thought of something that you should know about. Right before we moved from Edmonton, that was not quite a year ago, Renfield found out that his undercover contact, a woman he loved like a mother, was shot and killed in Colombia.”  


Mark went to his desk and made a note. “This could potentially make things a little tougher on him remembering all that happened. How did handle he the news?”  


“He completely broke down. He really scared me. He cried, no that’s not the right word, it was more than that. He mourned, I guess, sobbing for most of the night. By the morning he seemed fine again.”  


“Has he talked about her since?”  


“No. I figured he’d tell me when he could.”  


“Ah, but you see, he can’t tell you. I would assume he’s buried those feelings too. More to talk about with me.” Mark smiled and ushered her out the door. “Things like this, things that you remember, be sure to let me know. I won’t be telling Renfield how I know about them, so you don’t need to worry that he’ll think you are betraying his confidences.”  


“Then, did he tell you have he met with a retired psychologist for a year, while he was in Fraser Lake?”  


Mark smiled, “yes, that one he did tell me about. And I’m going to be in touch with Dr Inouye.”  


“Thank you, Dr Fairchild.”  


After he closed his door Mark stopped to think for a moment. He was usually an exceptionally good judge of character, it was extremely helpful in his profession, but boy had he been wrong about her! The first word that came to mind when he heard her screaming in the hall was shrew. Now he knew that to be about as far from the truth as one could get.  


When Kerri left Mark’s office, she called Ray.  


He answered with, “ya ready for me ta come get ya?”  


“Yes please.”  


“Okay be there in a few.”  


“I’ll be out front.” She ended the call thanking God for Ray Kowalski and Benton Fraser. While she was waiting, she made another call.  


“Scarborough Clinic, this is Margie, may I help you?”  


“Hi Margie, this is Kerri Turnbull. I think I need to make an appointment with Dr. Giroux.”  


“Sure Kerri. When’s good for you?”  


“As soon as possible, I guess. It’s not serious, but I need to speak to him.”  


“How about if I have him call you and then you both can decide if you need an office visit?”  


“Great. Thanks.”  


Kerri only had to wait about fifteen minutes before Ray was there. She had to laugh – he’d put the top down and was obviously enjoying driving her car far too much. The car suited him. The pink paint, not so much.  


“You look rather out of place driving a pink car!” she laughed as she climbed in. “Don’t you think it’s still a little too cool outside to be driving with the top down?”  


“The sun’s shining, who cares. Plus it’s gonna get hot.” Once she was in and he pulled away from the curb he asked, “ya gonna tell me or do I have ta pull it outta ya?”  


“He’s okay. How about if we talk about this when we get home. I’ve got a lot to process right now.”  


“Okay, but as soon as we get back. Me ‘n Fraser are worried ‘bout him, ‘n you too.”  


They rode back to the house in silence.

Chapter 6

Ray and Ben had accomplished a lot. The parlor furniture was in place and all the boxes were either unpacked or moved to a staging area in the dining room. It didn’t appear they had any dining room furniture, so they decided using it for the boxes was a perfect option.  


Turnbull and Kerri had done quite a bit already. The kitchen was almost complete, Turnbull having apparently repaired pretty much everything in there and the master bedroom was at least livable, so they focused on clearing pathways through the foyer and to the back of the house.  


“Wow!” Kerri exclaimed as she came in the front door. “This looks so much better.” She looked from one friend to another. “Thank you so much for doing this!’  


“Okay, no more stallin’! Tell us ‘bout Turnbull.”  


“Can we sit?”  


The three of them sat in the parlor, made comfortable by the work of her friends. “Well,” she began. “It’s pretty much like Ray thought. Renfield has night terrors because of PTSD. The doctor thinks he had it before going undercover and that just made it worse. He’s had vivid nightmares since he was a child.” She sighed and paused for a moment.  


“What are his treatment options?” Fraser asked as gently as he could.  


“Well, that’s the potentially good news. The sleep study he had last night showed that he has pronounced OSA – that’s obstructive sleep apnea – “  


“I thought that was snorin’?”  


“Apparently Renny is and I quote Dr Fairchild – ‘very unique’.” Kerri grinned at them as they chuckled. “He doesn’t have any of the symptoms associated with OSA.”  


“So, why’s that good news?”  


“We were told that CPAP therapy can be beneficial in the treatment of PTSD related night terrors. They’ve already started treatment. In the middle of the night last night. The sleep technician said that his vivid dreaming reduced dramatically when they hooked him up to the machine.”  


“But are you safe?” Ray thought his question was going to make Kerri cry.  


“They don’t know yet.” And then she did start to cry. “Sorry,” she said as she swiped at her tears. “The doctor said that they won’t let him come home until they can be sure that his night terrors are under control. There will be lots of therapy – which begins today, and they will be trying different drug therapies to see which one will work for him.” She jumped up said, “excuse me,” and fled the room.  


“Shit!” Ray muttered. “I didn’t mean ta make her cry!” He jumped up to go after her.  


“Ray, wait! Are you okay with this? All of this is not simply hard on her, you know. Should I go instead?”  


“Nah, I’m the one who did it, made her cry.”  


“Listen to me!” he exclaimed as he grabbed Ray’s sleeve to hold him back. “You did not do this. The circumstances made her cry, not you. Let me go.” Fraser didn’t wait for a response, he followed Kerri out of the room.  


He found her in the kitchen, still crying, but trying to put something together for their lunch through her tears.  


“I’ve got the makings for ham and cheese sandwiches, if that’s okay with you both,” she sniffed. She leaned on the counter and whispered, “dammit! I am so scared for him.”  


Ben came up to her and placed his arm around her shoulders. “You need to trust in the doctors, and Renfield’s desire to come back to you. There is such a strong pull between the two of you that can’t be denied.” He patted her shoulder and then pulled his arm away.  


“Did I hear someone mention ham sandwiches? Got rye?” Ray asked from the doorway.  


“Yes,” she tried to smile. “I know you don’t want tomato, what about you, Ben?” She made their sandwiches and scooped up some of Renfield’s homemade potato salad for each of them and they went back to the parlor.  


They ate in silence, until Ben felt it necessary to divert Kerri’s thoughts. He could tell from the look on her face that she currently was not in a good place.  


“I took a little walk around your back garden this morning.”  


“It’s a jungle out there!” she exclaimed  


“Ah, yes, but I’ll bet there are at least remnants of a Victorian formal garden under all the overgrowth. And there’s a huge mound of weeds and ivy at the bottom of the garden that may just be hiding a summer house or at least a green house. Maybe even a glass house!”  


“This house wasn’t grand enough for a glass house,” but Kerri seemed a little more interested. “A summer house would be wonderful,” she mused.  


“What’s a summer house?” Ray asked, sensing Fraser’s attempt to keep Kerri distracted.  


“A small house, what we might call a she shed. It was a place to go in the hottest days of summer to get away from the heat in the house.” She thought about it for a moment. “I’d like that.”  


She rose to take their plates to the kitchen, but Ray got them first. “You fixed it; we’ll clean it up.”  


Once they had all the lunch things put away, they continued with the unpacking. Kerri realized very quickly that she wasn’t going to be of much use. About all she could do was direct traffic. But that was fine with Ben and Ray, they were only glad her mind was on something other than her husband.  


Not too long after their lunch Kerri’s therapist called, and Ben left the area – trying not to eavesdrop. Ray, on the other hand tried just as hard – to hear what she had to say.  


“Thanks for calling me back so quickly. I wasn’t sure if I needed an appointment.”  


Ray couldn’t hear the doctor’s end of the conversation, but he sure got the gist. “It’s broken and hurts like hell,” she said.  


“A couple, yeah. One big one in the hospital ER and then again at little one yesterday.” Ray’s blood ran cold. So the panic attack at the diner wasn’t the first, as they had thought.  


“Yeah, Ray and Ben are here and they’re helping me get the house a little more livable.  


“Night terrors from PTSD.  


“I knew he had bad nightmares, he’s had them off and on ever since we’ve been together, but I had no idea they would get so bad. It was terrifying.  


“I would. I’d really like to talk to you about it.  


“I’ll see if I can get one of the guys to drive me. I can’t drive my car because it’s a stick and I hate Renfield’s because it’s huge.  


“10:00am tomorrow, I’ll be there. Thanks, Gene.”  


She ended the call and turned to find Ray standing behind her.  


“You were listening?!” she exclaimed.  


“Yeah, I –”  


“How could you do that!” she cried. “I can’t believe you did that! That call was private!”  


“I –”  


“Please leave,” she whispered.  


“I’m –”  


“Get out of my house!” she started screaming and crying. “Get out!”  


“Kerri please –”  


“I think we’d better go Ray,” Fraser said as he came running at the sound of her shouts.  


“I’m sorry,” he whispered as he turned to go. “Stay with her Fraze, don’t leave her alone.” Ray said as he left.  


“Ray WAIT!” she called as she ran after him. Seeing him rushing away caused her anger to dissipate instantly. She ran after him and threw her arms around him. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean that! PLEASE don’t go!” she cried.  


Fraser breathed a sigh of relief and disappeared into the back of the house.  


Kerri cried on Ray’s shoulder. She vacillated between being sorry and humiliated and ended up being both, “I am so sorry,” she cried. “How could I ever yell at you! You of all people!” she held him even closer, completely disregarding how much her closeness hurt him.  


Finally, after far too long for Ray, she pulled away, but avoided looking at him. “Please forgive me?” she pleaded.  


“I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have listened ta yer call. But I’m glad yer talkin’ ta your doc”  


“This whole thing with Renfield, the move, the house everything is just too much for me.”  


“I know, Honey, that’s why we’re here. We’ll stay as long as ya need us.”  


“He’s right, you know. You and Renfield mean a lot to both of us. You need our help and that’s what friends are for,” Ben said as he came back to them.  


Kerri smiled at Ben through her tears. “Seems to me you told me that once before – a very long time ago.” She looked from one man to the other. “Thank you, both of you,” she whispered.  


Ben went back to work but before Ray could follow him Kerri grabbed his sleeve. “I really am sorry. Please don’t give up on me. I’ll get this figured out, eventually.”  


“Ya’d better. This havin’ ya cry on my shoulder is gettin’ sort a old,” he said seriously – but then broke into a huge grin. “I promise I will never give up on you! But you gotta promise me something – if yer havin’ panic attacks please don’t keep it to yerself. There’s no shame in admittin’ it.”  


“Very wise.”  


After her outburst Kerri decided to go to her room and hide for a bit. She was so ashamed of herself she just didn’t want to be around them right then. She was beginning to worry about herself. She’d never had much of a temper, sure she got miffed occasionally, but she’d never really lost it – until the last couple of days. She’d screamed at the hospital staff when they told her she could not see Renfield and she’d screamed again at Dr Fairchild for the same reason. And now she’d screamed at Ray. RAY! He’d just made a mistake and she’d acted like some sort of harridan. It would have served her right if he had left. Wonderful Ray, the best friend she’d ever had! What was the matter with her?!  


She decided to take her mind off herself and concentrate on Renny and this house. She was not important at this point – it was Renfield who needed her focus! She went into the bathroom and splashed cold water on her face as best she could with only one good hand and brushed her hair. She fumbled for quite a while trying to tie it back with a ribbon but finally gave up and found a scarf to wrap around her head to keep her hair out of her eyes.  


Once she had settled down, she went back downstairs to continue to direct traffic.  


The mood in the house was subdued, but the work continued – until Ray stumbled over something on the floor and fell back against the arm of the sofa. The box he was carrying went flying and broke open on the floor scattering its contents of dog paraphernalia, toys etc. everywhere. Deuce, thinking Ray wanted to play, grabbed a squeaky toy, and launched himself onto Ray. Now Ray was lying on his back, his legs hanging over the arm of the sofa with a big black puppy with toy standing on his chest. Ray was pinned. Deuce decided he didn’t really need the toy, so he spat it out and began kissing Ray instead. Every time Ray struggled to get up the toy squeaked, and Deuce licked him more.  


Deuce’s tail was wagging a mile a minute and Kerri was laughing hysterically when Fraser came running into the room. Upon seeing what the commotion was about Fraser started laughing too. Ray, on the other hand, could not get the hyperactive animal off him and could not breathe.  


“Get this friggin’ beast off me!” he gasped.  


Still laughing, Fraser went to get Deuce off Ray’s chest. Once the pressure was lifted Ray sat up, and right on to the toy, which let out the most mournful squeal – sort of like he had just sat on a whoopie cushion.  


Then everyone laughed hysterically as Kerri’s phone rang.  


“Hi!”  


“What’s so funny?” Renfield asked when he heard laughter in her voice.  


“Ray just had a wrestling match with Deuce and Deuce won!”  


“I wish I was there,” he said wistfully.  


“I wish you were too,” she said as both men in the room made discrete exits. “Are you doing okay – is everything okay?”  


“I’m feeling sort of down, but they think that might be the meds we’re trying…”  


“Have you told them? How you’re feeling?” It was so unlike Renny to be depressed it worried her.  


“Oh, yes, they’re monitoring me very closely. I just miss being with you.”  


“I can come see you as soon as Mark says it’s okay.”  


“What are you and Ben and Ray doing?” he asked, trying to change the subject.  


“They’re helping me move the furniture into place,” she said, not wanting to elaborate any further.  


“It must really be taking shape. I’m sorry I left you with such a mess and sorry I pushed you into buying the rundown old place at all.”  


“Renfield! Don’t say that! Ben has the same vision for this house as you do. I showed him the butler’s pantry and he actually said ‘wow’. And he thinks there may be a summer house buried in overgrowth at the bottom of the garden! I really like the idea of a summer house.”  


“Really? If there’s nothing there I could build one for you.”  


“That would be great! We could spend warm summer evenings out there. Could I paint it pink?” Renfield hated pink and she knew that, but she hoped it would at least get him to smile.  


“If you want pink then pink it is!”  


“That’s sweet of you, but I was teasing. Maybe we could paint it in the same colors that we paint the house? Ben says she must have been a ‘grand old lady’ back in the day.”  


“He really does have the same vision as me!”  


It seemed that he was becoming more enthusiastic by the minute. Maybe Ben was right, working on the house might be good for Renfield’s emotional wellbeing.  


So now Kerri had a goal – to stop being so negative about this house and learn to love it! She smiled. She could do this! For Renny.  


“If there are the remnants of a formal Victorian garden under the jungle, maybe there are water features or a fountain! We could take light meals out to the summer house and listen to the water,” she suggested. “Just think, summer evenings after work going out there and relaxing with some lemonade and a salad.”  


He liked that idea too and those thoughts really did help his mood.  


“I’ve got to go now for a session with Dr Fairchild. Thank you,” he whispered.  


“For what?”  


“For cheering me up.”  


“That’s what I’m here for. When can I come to see you?”  


“How about 6:00? I should be done with the day’s festivities by them.” The gloom seemed to be creeping back just slightly as he ended their call.  


Kerri sat for a while after their call. Her arm was really starting to bother her, but that wasn’t the reason. It was so unlike Renny to be depressed and it really concerned her. She promised herself she’d say something to the doctor about it the next time she saw him.  


She was so lost in thought she didn’t hear Ben enter the room. “Is Renfield doing okay?” he asked, concerned by the look on her face.  


“He’s depressed. They think it’s the current medication, but I’ve just never heard him like that. He’s usually so effusive. Oh, I’ve seen him sad, usually for others, but never negative. I’m sure he’ll get past it, but I don’t like to think of him feeling that way. He even called this place a rundown old house.”  


“Did speaking to you cheer him up?”  


“A little, I think. I mentioned your vision of the house and he was pleased. I even told him you thought there might be a summer house at the bottom of the garden and how I thought that was cool. He said if it turned out not to be the case, he’d build me one. Talking about the house seemed to perk him up a little, but by the time he got off the phone he seemed to be slipping back toward depression.”  


Ben smiled at her. “You’re going to fall in love with this house to make Renfield happy.”  


“I’m working on it,” she admitted.  


“You know I think I’m beginning to understand a little of your secret. You both are willing to sacrifice anything for each other.”  


“Ya got me!” she grinned. “I love my husband and yes, I would sacrifice just about anything for him, as he would for me.” She hesitated for a moment. “Seriously, is that so unusual?”  


“In my experience, yes.”  


“I think you would be willing to do that – for the right woman.”  


“I guess you’re right – I just haven’t met the right one.” He grinned at her, “and all the best ones are taken.”  


“Benton Fraser, I know you’re not flirting, so you must be teasing me!” Kerri giggled.  


“Where or how I lived never really mattered to me, but now I think I could be happy with the right woman in a house like this,” he said, looking around the room.  


“Wouldn’t the house need to be about a couple of thousand kilometers north?”  


He thought about it for a moment. “That would put it somewhere around Pickle Lake! No, I’ve been thinking a little closer to civilization, but close enough to the north that I could get back there as often as I needed to.”  


“Is that why you were in Yellowknife? Are you thinking of leaving Chicago?”  


“I heard there was a position open in the area, yes. But when I went to inquire, they didn’t seem interested in me.”  


“The saga of hunting your father’s killer still haunting your career?”  


“Among other things,” he muttered. He preferred not to think about hauntings.  


“How about transferring to a large city, closer to ‘the North’? Get away from Chicago, but still close to Ray but to ‘the North’ too?”  


“Such as?”  


“Well,” she smiled, “there’s always here!” She could tell he’d already thought of that. “I know that was a real sticking point with you and Meg, but she’s going to Ottawa, so that leaves about a half of a province between you.”  


“Perhaps,” was all he said.  


“Hey! Nobody told me it was break time! How come I wasn’t invited ta this party?” Ray asked as he came looking for them, a big black puppy with a squeaky toy tagging along behind him.  


“I think your new friend wants to play,” Kerri said as she pointed at Deuce.  


“Work now, play later,” he said to him as he scratched his new friend on the head. Knowing looks passed between Kerri and Ben. It seemed as if Ray was warming up to the four-footed member of the household.  


“How’s Turnbull?”  


“He’s sort of down. He says it’s the new meds. I hope that’s the reason,” Kerri sighed.  


“Can we visit him?” Ray asked.  


“I forgot to tell you that the doctor said no. He wants Renfield to come home as soon as possible and that will involve lots of work on their part. He’d rather hold off on visits from anyone – except me, of course.” Ain’t no way they’re keepin’ me from my man, she thought.  


Fraser was surprised that not being able to see Turnbull made him a little sad. “Well, at least we can get everything unpacked and ready for his homecoming!”  


“When ya want me ta take ya back to see him?”

Chapter 7

Ray dropped her off in front of the hospital right at 6:00pm. She was so anxious to get inside she barely even said thank you before trotting off. Ray knew he’d never have Kerri, but he wished, not for the first time, that he could find someone who would be as anxious to see him as she was to see Turnbull.  


Kerri went to the public café and waited for Renny. She’d texted him earlier, so he knew she was coming. At about 6:10 she texted him again and then about five minutes later her phone rang.  


“Hello?”  


“Mrs. Turnbull this is Lydia Smith. I’m a nurse up on the 4th floor. Could you come up please? Mr. Turnbull is in room 410.”  


Kerri was terrified and ran from the café to the elevator without even ending their call. She ran to the room and came to a dead halt in the doorway. Renfield was sitting in a chair holding an ice pack to his forehead, with about five nurses surrounding him. She could barely see him for all the people.  


She gasped and one of the nurses turned to her. “Please don’t be alarmed! Just a little fainting spell, but it took about three of us to get him back to the room.”  


“I did NOT faint! I passed out,” he said indignantly.  


“Whatever you call it WHY did you pass out?”  


“Low blood pressure,” one of his nurses said. “Apparently he was so excited to see you he got up far too quickly and barely made it to the hall, before he did a face plant on the floor.”  


Kerri did not care for the woman’s terminology, but it did evoke a smile from Renny.  


“It’s the meds – they’re too strong,” he muttered.  


“Quite possibly,” one of the other nurses said. “We’ll make sure Dr Fairchild knows about this immediately. For now – no standing up too quickly! Just sit here quietly and visit with your wife and drink the rest of that orange juice. If you’d like something to eat call the nurse’s station and we’ll call the kitchen. Or, if you’d like, Mrs. Turnbull you can go down to the café and get something to bring back here.” Looking back to Renfield she said, “stay put!”  


“Sorry,” he said to Kerri after the hoard of nurses had gone, “I think I made sort of a scene.”  


“Are you okay? You’re very pale! Don’t be scaring me like that!” she ordered as she went to him and gave him a big hug. “You hurt your head,” she said as she gently touched the bump on his forehead,  


“Hence the term face plant.”  


“Ouchy!”  


“That sounds like something you’d say to a little kid who just skinned his knee,” Renfield grinned.  


“Do you want me to go down and get us something to eat? I’m hungry.”  


“Would you mind? The food here is not particularly good,” he whispered.  


“Of course I don’t mind! What would you like?”  


“YOU!”  


“Would that be ala carte or the full meal?” she giggled, and he laughed.  


“Exactly what does that come with?”  


“Slathered in whipped cream and chocolate sauce,” she continued to giggle.  


“Leave off the chocolate sauce and THAT’S exactly what I want,” he said as he kissed her.  


“We probably should eat real food. This isn’t the most private place for anything else.”  


“In that case,” he pouted, “how about the biggest burger they have and fries.”  


“That medication certainly hasn’t affected your appetite!”  


Kerri left to get Renfield his burger and a salad for her.  


When she returned about fifteen minutes later Dr Fairchild was there.  


“Oh, sorry! Would you like for me to wait outside in the hallway?” she asked.  


“No, come on in. We were just discussing Renfield’s episode.”  


“If I’d known you’d be here I would have brought you something to eat.”  


“Thanks for the kind thought, but I didn’t know I’d be here either. Seems your husband decided to faint at just the right time – I was just getting ready to head home.”  


“I did not faint.” “He says he didn’t faint.” Renfield and his wife said at the same time.  


Mark chuckled at them. “Okay, passed out.” He looked at the nurse’s note and then up at Renfield. “Well it seems that you were right. We’re going to need to switch up the medication –”  


“Could I interrupt for just a second?” Kerri asked. “I not sure if Renfield told you, but when I spoke with him this afternoon he seemed to be depressed. That is very unlike him. He’s most always very upbeat and positive.”  


“I am in the room, you know,” Renfield said almost indignantly.  


“I’m sorry,” she said. And she was. “But I’ll bet you didn’t tell him that, did you?”  


“No,” Renfield admitted.  


“Okay, so depression and hypotension. You said earlier that you slept well.”  


“Yes, I slept very well.” Except that I was alone, he thought. “I’ve felt weak ever since we spoke this afternoon. I thought it might be because I was hungry.”  


“That was probably the low blood pressure,” Mark said. “So, let’s try this. Let’s try cutting the dosage in half –”  


Renfield and Kerri exchange wry smiles.  


“What?” Mark asked.  


“You just reminded us of Kerri’s meds for her panic attacks. When the doctor first prescribed it the clonazepam made her sleep around the clock because it was too strong for her. I guess it runs in the family.”  


“That is one of the side effects. So no more sleeping 24/7?” he asked Kerri.  


“No, now it’s fine.”  


Mark finished writing orders for the nursing staff and asked, “anything else, or can I go home now?”  


“I’m sorry to have kept you,” Renfield apologized.  


“That’s another thing we’ll need to work on, to tell when I’m kidding. See you tomorrow. Enjoy your dinner.”  


They ate quietly, each having quite a lot to think about. Finally Renfield spoke up. “What’s going on at the house?”  


“We’re still unpacking, that is, the guys are unpacking and I’m directing traffic.”  


“I sure wish I could be there.”  


“Maybe in a few days. Do you want to tell me what you talked about in your session with Mark?”  


“We’re talking about Colombia.”  


“So soon?” she asked, shocked.  


“He wants to address the source of the nightmares and the sooner we get through that he thinks it will be safe for me to come home.”  


He looked so forlorn and, she had to admit, scared, she wanted to cry for him. She moved the arm of his chair, put her good arm around his shoulders and held him. The strength he drew from her closeness caused his mood to pass.  


“I’m so sorry you have to even think about all that happened,” she whispered.  


“It was my choice.”  


“But you didn’t choose to suffer as you did.”  


He smiled briefly. “That’s what Mark said.”  


“That’s because it’s true!” She didn’t press him, that was Mark’s job. Hers was to support him in the aftermath. “That you’re willing to relive this in part for me makes me very proud to be loved by you.”  


He smiled again. “Loving you is the easiest thing I’ve ever done. Although, loving me certainly hasn’t been easy for you.”  


“If I could live my life over are things I’d change? Of course. But I would rather die than live my life without you!”  


She rested her head on his shoulder and relished in the closeness to the man she loved. They stayed that way, unspeaking, for quite a while – until they were interrupted by the duty nurse.  


“Sorry to intrude on such a romantic scene, but Mr. Turnbull I’ve got your meds.”  


“That’s half the dose he’s been getting, right?” Kerri demanded.  


“Yes, it is.”  


“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be second guessing you.”  


“That’s perfectly alright,” the nurse said. “You’re concerned for my patient too. Just keep it up, you’re his advocate. If you see anything that concerns you just let us know.”  


Kerri was rather surprised at the nurse’s attitude. She didn’t have much experience with hospitals, but she did remember the nurses from the time Renfield was poisoned and her memories were not very pleasant. But then again, she might not have been that pleasant to deal with either. “Thank you.”  


“You’re probably going to get a little sleepy pretty soon,” the nurse called as she hurried out of the room.  


“I like her, she’s been nice to me.”  


Kerri grinned at him, “are you telling me I was harsh?”  


It was Renfield’s turn to hug her. “You are never harsh. You’re perfect.”  


Kerri thought of her recent bouts of screaming at people. “Boy have I got you fooled,” and boy was she glad. She was currently ashamed of herself.  


Renfield was beginning to become drowsy and Kerri knew it was time for her to go. “You’d better get in bed, before you fall asleep on your feet and do another face plant,” she grinned.  


“I wish you could stay with me,” he leered at her and then stifled a huge yawn. They both laughed.  


She helped him out of his sweatshirt as best she could, and he crawled into bed. “By the way, how have you been getting your clothes on over your cast?”  


Right now she was really glad Ray hadn’t wanted to help her. “Ben,” she grinned, “although it embarrasses him to do it.”  


She watched him fumble with the CPAP paraphernalia and studied what he needed to do. Renfield was asleep before she left. She was sure it wasn’t just the medication; he must be exhausted from the rigors of his day. For a short while she sat by his bedside, watching him sleeping. She could swear that the CPAP helped him to sleep more peacefully. She prayed that was the case, for his comfort and ultimately her safety.  


Finally, when the end of visiting hours drew near, she called Ray. “Ya ready?” he asked.  


“Yes,” she said. “I’ll be downstairs.” She kissed Renny good night and muttered, “sleep well.” And then she left.

Chapter 8

Over the next several days Dr. Fairchild and Renfield made slow but steady progress. Fairchild found Renfield to be a willing, but unenthusiastic patient. He could tell the man was scared to remember all the things that had happened in Colombia and as the days progressed, he began to find out why.  


Renfield admitted to him that he was terrified from the moment he met Manuel Gallegos, the man he was supposed to befriend in Kitchener. Renfield wasn’t afraid of Gallegos, he was afraid Gallegos would awaken in him the evil that was in his twin brother. Deep down Renfield still believed that he must in some way share René’s violent personality.  


His fear intensified once he arrived in Colombia. He was forced to live as he believed his brother would have lived – hateful, violent, sadistic, and homicidal. It was necessary for him to become René for his very survival. And the longer he played the part the more he felt himself slipping away.  


Most of this Renfield had already admitted to the RCMP counselor upon his return home. Most of it. What he hadn’t admitted, even to himself, was that he believed the worst part of René was still with him and always would be.  


As the days progressed Fairchild learned more and more of Renfield’s work while in Colombia, the drug dealers he was forced to befriend, the shipments of cocaine he oversaw, and his reliance on a woman named Concepción. Fairchild watched silently as Renfield cried when he related just how much Concepción had meant to him. Over the months of his undercover work she was the only one who saw the real Renfield, the man who was so unlike his twin. She was the only one he was able to allow to see the man behind the façade. He had relied on her, put his life in her hands and almost died in her arms. She was his one link to sanity in a world gone insane for Renfield.  


After several days Renfield was finally able to relive some of his time after being discovered and his ultimate capture. He had sought refuge with Concepción and her family and had almost gotten all of them killed as a result. The Cartel was able to trace him as far as one of the poorest neighborhoods in Cali and a young boy on the street told the heavily armed men that he’d seen a tall, white man in the area. They searched house to house but before they got to the Juarez home Concepción’s youngest son was able to smuggle Renfield out the back and down a side street in a donkey cart – just as Villanueva’s men broke down the front door.  


Fortunately, the family was terrorized but otherwise unharmed as Renfield ran for his life. He was able to make it to Cartagena, almost 1000km mostly on foot, but there his flight ended. The Cartel had hundreds of tentacles that snaked throughout the city and Renfield was located almost immediately and grabbed off a busy street.  


Fairchild knew that they were coming close to the core of Renfield’s nightmares, so he stopped their session for that day, giving Renfield a chance to rest and regroup, but with the knowledge that tomorrow would be intense. And it was.  


Renfield could not remember much of his time in captivity, but with gentle prodding by the doctor he was able to remember more of it. He was taken to a warehouse he had been in before. He oversaw many shipments of drugs as they were packaged, crated, and sent on their way to a local airstrip. He had been one of the bosses there and now he was their prisoner. He knew what was coming, he’d also watched as similar things were done to other men.  


He was strung up by the wrists, with his feet barely touching the floor, and whipped. He would pass out and then awakened with a bucket of water dumped on his head and whipped again. Finally questions would be shouted at him, but when he didn’t reply the whipping and awakening, and questioning would start again – and again. He wasn’t allowed to sleep or eat. He hung that way for days.  


Renfield wasn’t even aware that he was crying as he relived the nightmare he had buried so deeply until Dr. Fairchild handed him a glass of water and put a steading hand on his shoulder.  


“Perhaps we should end our session here, I think that’s enough for one day,” Fairchild suggested.  


“Please,” Renfield said in a shaky voice, “could we continue? I have to fight through this!”  


Fairchild nodded and Renfield continued, “I don’t know how long I hung there, after a while time didn’t matter anymore. I knew I was going to die, and I longed for it. The pain was blinding, and I couldn’t think. I just wanted it to stop, prayed it would stop. And then it did. I didn’t see the gun or feel the bullet, but I did feel myself falling to the floor and then being hauled – to the back of a truck, I think.  


“The next thing I remember is Concepción holding me and praying. That went on for a long time. Then Kerri came to me,” he whispered. “She was an angel, I think. She smiled at me and held my hand.” He reached the point where he did not have the strength to go on.  


“Renfield, I am sorry you have to relive this, but you have made great progress today! I am going to give you some valium to help you relax and I suggest you get some sleep –”  


“But Kerri –”  


“We will call her and ask her not to come tonight. You need to sleep. This has been extremely hard on you and I would rather you didn’t have any visitors. We are also going to monitor your dream state again. If anything would initiate nightmares what you’ve gone through today would do it.” He could see Renfield was not pleased so he hurried to add, “how about if we suggest Kerri come first thing in the morning?”  


Renfield brightened and Fairchild rang for Ruth. “I’m going to have Ruth walk with you back to your room. I’m afraid you might be a little unsteady on your feet right now. Just know that we have made great progress today and that just brings you one step closer to going home!”  


Ruth came in and helped him to stand. “Thank you,” Renfield said as they walked out the door.  


Kerri finally found something she could do – she could rearrange their closets. If she took small loads, she could move clothes around so that their winter stuff was in the spare bedroom. Victorians must not have had much in the way of wardrobe, she thought, the closet space in this house was almost non-existent! And then she had an idea. She’d talk to Renny and possibly they could turn one of the bedrooms into a closet. And entire room! Now that made her happy!  


Benton was in the back garden hacking his way through the overgrowth so if she needed help, she yelled for Ray. Right now he was at the deep end of the only large closet in the house bringing out Renfield’s review order uniform, which was too heavy for her to take down with one hand.  


“How come ya call this review order?”  


“That’s the proper name! Red serge is the fabric it’s made of.”  


“He wear it much, now?  


“Not often,” she admitted, sadly. She loved Renny in Red Serge.  


“Prob’ly a good thing. They never said nothin' but I always thought Fraser and Turnbull musta been hot and itchy in the summer.”  


“You’re –” at that moment her phone rang.  


Thinking it was Renfield she answered, “hiiiiii!”  


The man at the other end laughed. “Sorry if you were expecting Renfield, but this is Mark Fairchild.”  


“Sorry, Doctor,” she said, rather alarmed that he would be calling.  


“I would like for you not to come to the hospital tonight –”  


“Why? What’s wrong?” Ray was instantly by her side.  


“We had a very productive session today, but it was very upsetting for Renfield. I’ve ordered him a tranquilizer and another sleep study. It would be best for him if you waited until tomorrow morning. He’s not pleased, but right now is not a good time.”  


“Could I come and just sit with him while he’s sleeping?” She didn’t like to beg, but she also didn’t like the idea of him being alone.  


“Trust me on this. Knowing the connection the two of you have he will know you’re there even if he’s asleep. I really must insist that you wait until tomorrow.”  


She didn’t even try to keep the disappointment out of her voice. “If you think it’s best then I will see him in the morning.”  


“Please don’t be upset. The session we had today was intense, but he made great progress.”  


“Thank you, Mark,” she said as she ended the call. She stood, with her back to Ray and pressed her fist to her mouth, desperately trying to hold back tears. Finally, she was successful and turned to face Ray.  


“He had a very bad day,” she explained. “He must have told Mark about the whipping.” One errant tear slipped down her cheek.  


“But that’s a good thing! Means he can talk about it ‘n that means he’s closer ta healing!”  


She smiled at him. “You’re right! Maybe he can come home soon!”  


“Since yer gonna be here, why don’t we order a pizza ‘n I’ll go get us some beer?” He was brought up short. “Sorry, forgot ya don’t drink.”  


“I think for tonight I’ll make an exception.  


Ray helped her finish transferring clothes from one closet to another and when they were done, they went to find Fraser. They found him standing by the kitchen sink gulping a glass of water.  


Kerri had never seen such a sight, Ben was flushed bright red, he was sweating profusely, his hair was dripping wet, and he was filthy.  


“Yer a mess!” Ray exclaimed with a huge grin on his face.  


Kerri giggled. “But he’s so cute! His hair is curly! Benton Fraser has curly hair! But you look really overheated.” Even with a beet red face and sweat pouring into his eyes he looked…Kerri couldn’t quite find the right word. But then he smiled, and she knew – he was happy! Happier than she had ever seen him.  


“Ya sure must like what yer doin’”, Ray said, addressing that same smile.  


“I uncovered a flagstone path that I’ll bet leads to some sort of water feature! I wish you had the original plans for this garden, or even some pictures from long ago.”  


“If ya find the lost Ark in there, let me know,” Ray said with slight disdain.  


“Well that’s just silly Ray,” he said with a wry smile. “Everyone knows the Ark of the Covenant is buried in a deep dark warehouse somewhere in Washington DC.”  


All three of them laughed.  


“Oh, but he’s so much cuter than Indiana Jones!” Kerri exclaimed. She grabbed a kitchen towel and went to the freezer. She dug out some ice cubes and wrapped them in the towel. “Hold this to your temples, you really need to cool down” she ordered. “Ray’s going to go pick up a pizza, what do you want on it?”  


Fraser was about open his mouth, but saw Ray shake his head almost imperceptibly. So instead of asking why she would be having dinner with them rather than Renfield he simply said, “pepperoni and sausage is fine for me.” Looking pointedly at Ray he demanded, “NO anchovies!”  


“Pepperoni, sausage for Fraze and black olives for the lady. What kind of beer?” Now Fraser really knew something was amiss.  


“Get an IPA, it goes best with pizza,” Kerri said.  


“Wanna call it in ‘n I’ll get going.” He didn’t even need to ask, Kerri tossed him her keys. “Why don’t you turn in the rental car? You never drive it,” she chuckled.  


Ray was out the door before Kerri had even placed the call. But once the pizza was ordered she focused on Ben who was currently sitting at her kitchen table.  


“Your color is coming back to normal, but please be careful – it’s hot outside.”  


“I noticed! But I’m so fascinated with that garden I just can’t stop cutting back the jungle to see what is revealed. If you don’t mind, I’m going to continue. That is of course, if Renfield doesn’t mind either.”  


“I don’t mind at all, just be sure to do it early in the day before it gets too hot. I don’t want to have an unconscious Mountie on my hands. I’ll mention it to Renfield in the morning – I won’t be seeing him this evening.”  


Ben sat quietly, waiting for her to explain.  


“You’re too polite to ask, aren’t you?” He just shrugged his shoulders. “Dr. Fairchild called earlier. Renfield had a rather hard time today and Fairchild thinks it is best if he doesn’t have any visitors tonight.”  


“Do you know what caused the hard time?” he asked gently.  


“No, but I think it probably has something to do with the worst of his time undercover. He told me that they were talking about his time in Colombia…”  


“That’s rather like jumping into the deep end of the pool, isn’t it?”  


“I thought the same thing. But Renfield said that the doctor wanted to get to the root of his nightmares as soon as they could – to allow him to come home quickly but safely.”  


“You never mentioned the outcome of your visit with your doctor,” he said, trying for it to not sound like he was pressing her. He and Ray had noticed she carefully avoided talking about her visit.  


“I didn’t know what to say. He said that the new panic attacks didn’t surprise him – not after what happened. But he was concerned…” she hesitated, “he was concerned about my losing my temper so much. He said he wanted me to think about who I am really angry with. He… he thinks my anger is misdirected, and…and I’m really angry with…with Renfield.”  


“Are you angry with Renfield?” he asked. But he thought he might know the answer. He had believed early on that she had forgiven him rather quickly when he went to her in Edmonton. Certainly, their love was unique and not to be taken lightly, but she had a lot to forgive.  


“I’ve thought about that, thought about little else. And I must admit I don’t know, but I don’t think so. I was angry with him, but I was fairly sure I got past that. Besides, how could I possibly be angry with a man who has suffered, is suffering, so much?”  


“Sacrificing yourself for the man you love?”  


Kerri felt it necessary to defend herself. “Okay, let me ask you a question. If you had bad news or knew something that would hurt him would you tell him now?”  


“I see your point. So, what will you do?”  


“I’ll talk with Dr. Giroux as often as we see fit and as Ray would say ‘suck it up’ and figure out how to deal with it. One thing I will NOT do is anything that might hurt Renfield. He’s had enough.”  


They each thought about that for a while before Kerri needed to break the uncomfortable silence. “I’m sort of surprised you like the garden so much. I never thought of you as a gardener.”  


“Me either! I’ve never been in a situation where I had a garden to be interested in. At home, the back garden was usually white and melted in the summer!”  


“Well our garden sure seems to make you happy.”  


“It surprises me, but yes it does. Have you or Turnbull spoken to the Historical Society? Maybe they have old pictures of this house,” he suggested.  


“I have to be honest, Renfield was a lot more interested in this place than I was. If he contacted the Historical Society, I don’t know about it.”  


“Would you ask him if he minds if I look into it? I’d really like to find out.”  


Kerri liked the idea of speaking to Renfield about anything that might take his mind off his current situation. “Of course! He seems to cheer up quite a bit when he talks about this house. His likes that you refer to it as a Grand Old Lady.”  


Just then they heard Ray crashing through the front door. “Hey Fraze, come give me a hand!” Two grocery bags and a huge pizza box were proving to be more than one man could carry.  


“You could have made two trips, you know,” Ben yelled as he hurried to help.  


Kerri brought out plates and napkins and they sat at the table to enjoy their feast. While they were eating Ray noticed that Kerri had become very quiet.  


“What’s up?” he asked.  


She looked up from her pizza and realized he was talking to her. “Hmm?”  


”Yer awful quiet. Sumpthin’ up? Other than the obvious?”  


“I was just thinking about this house and how to go about teaching myself to love it.”  


“Good luck with that one,” Ray teased.  


“Ray! This was once a lovely home! And with Turnbull’s vision it will be again. Just look what he’s done with this kitchen.”  


“Okay! It’s a nice kitchen and that butler’s pantry thing is sorta cool.”  


“Maybe if you did some research on the history of the house, you might find it more interesting?” Ben suggested to Kerri. “Who did it belong to before you bought it?”  


“The bank, for many years, as I understand it. That’s why we got such a great deal on it. If it was in top condition, we would never have been able to afford it.”  


“Ya got enough money to make it fit ta live in?”  


“Ray!”  


Ben’s reprimand caused Kerri to chuckle. “That’s the same thing I asked Renfield. We spent days listing everything that had to be fixed and then making lists of everything he wished to do. He called roofers, electricians and plumbers and I ran the numbers and, to answer your question, yes. We can afford to pretty much get it exactly the way he wants it.”  


It wasn’t lost on Ray or Ben that every time she spoke of fixing up the house it was always prefaced by ‘the way he wants it’ not ‘the way we want it’.  


“You are going to have input? The only way you will ever love this house is if you get some of the things you want too,” Ben said.  


“Well, I did have an idea when we were rearranging closets,” she mused. They watched as her eyes lit up. “We are so short on closet space I thought maybe we could turn the bedroom, the one with the water damage, into a dressing room. It’s closest to the master bedroom and maybe there might even be a way to connect the two rooms. And we could line the little existing closet with cedar and store Renfield’s uniform there. And then have a built-in dresser for folded clothes and, and…  


She went on and on and both men wanted to laugh. How in the world could a woman get so excited about a closet – even if she did call it a dressing room?! But Ben was also making mental notes. He was going to try, subtly, to ensure that Kerri got some of the amenities that would make her love their home. So far, his list included a summer house in the garden and a huge closet. He’d also heard her bemoan the lack of a washroom on the ground floor. But he’d keep prodding, he was sure she would come up with other things.  


After pizza and beer each of them sort of drifted off on their own. Ben went back to the garden, Kerri went back upstairs to ponder her ideas for the dressing room, and Ray settled in to watch TV.

Chapter 9

Kerri was back at the hospital at exactly 8:00am. She signed in at the desk and settled in to wait, but it was only a few minutes before her name was called.  


This morning it wasn’t Ruth, but a woman she had never seen before who took her to Renfield’s room. And once again she found her beloved Renny surrounded by several people. She was immediately alarmed.  


Dr. Fairchild turned to greet her when she paused in the doorway. “Goodness, don’t look so frightened! He’s fine, great in fact. This is Eric, he has been working with Matthew overnight monitoring Renfield’s sleep study. And this is Alice, she’s my new scribe. She’s trying to keep notes, trying to make sense of my ramblings. And of course you know Renfield,” he smiled. “Anyway, this is the entourage!”  


“Hello,” Kerri whispered to the room. Then she looked at Renfield.  


As the days of therapy had progressed Kerri had watched the man she loved steadily become more unraveled. Each evening when she came to spend time with him, she became increasingly alarmed by his appearance and demeanor. His eyes became brighter but more sunken, he was deathly pale and seemed to be losing weight rapidly.  


All these steady changes did not prepare her for his appearance this morning, however. He looked ravaged. And it scared her to death.  


Dr. Fairchild grabbed her elbow and pulled her into the hall. “Do not let him see you so upset!” he ordered. “He’s had a rough time, but he is making amazing progress. Let your demeanor prove to him what I’m saying is true. He needs to believe me, and you can make that happen, but not if you look at him with fear or worse, pity.”  


“I’ll do my best.”  


“Good. Collect yourself and come back in. I have good news for both of you.”  


Kerri was anxious for good news, so she steadied herself, took several deep breaths and when back into Renfield’s room.  


“Like I told Kerri I have some good news. Rather than worsen after your stressful day yesterday your sleep study shows us that your REM sleep behavior is significantly improved from the study you had a week ago.” He smiled at them both. “What all this means is that you are improving, much more quickly than any of us anticipated. At this rate you just might be able to return home within the week,”  


Renfield and Kerri were speechless. This was like an answer to their prayers, a wish come true.  


“You and I still have a lot of work to do,” he said to Renfield, then looking at Kerri he said, “sorry if I was a little harsh with you. Why don’t you two go downstairs and have some breakfast? Renfield I’ll see you at the regular time this afternoon.”  


They barely had time to say thank you before Mark and his entourage were gone.  


They walked to the café quietly, each lost in their own thoughts. They still did not speak as they found a table and studied the menu. Neither of them was very hungry and neither of them really wanted to eat. But eventually they both decided on porridge and tea.  


“We always seem to order the same things when we eat out. Do you think that’s because we’re so much alike or that we’ve been together for so long?” Renfield asked but could tell she wasn’t listening. “Did you hear me?”  


“Hmm? Oh, sorry. What did you say?”  


“More to the point, what did Dr. Fairchild say to you?” That seems to have really gotten to you, he thought.  


She was afraid he was going to ask her that, hence the reason she was so subdued. “He just wanted to remind me not to upset you.”  


Renfield didn’t respond immediately. Finally he said, “you wouldn’t have upset me. Just seeing you makes me profoundly happy.” But then he asked, “why aren’t you more excited about my coming home? Are you afraid of me…what I might do?”  


Damn! She was doing exactly what Mark had told her not to do. “NO! I’m thrilled! I’m just…just…”  


“Please tell me?” he took her hand and held it the best he could with the cast in the way.  


“I’m concerned about what you will have to go through before that. Mark said you still have a lot of work to do.”  


“I hope the hardest part is over,” he whispered. “But if it’s not, if there’s more to remember I can handle it with his help. It makes it easier knowing you will be waiting for me on the other side. Boy did that sound maudlin!”  


“No! It sounded wonderful. To know that you are willing to go through whatever is necessary to be healed makes me immensely proud of you. I envy your strength.”  


“Do you realize how much strength we draw from each other? Mark has even commented on it.”  


“It’s a good thing too!”  


They both were feeling better by the minute. Kerri thought now might be a good time to change the subject. “Ben wanted me to ask you something. Have you ever contacted the Historical Society to see if they might have plans or old pictures of the house?”  


“Fraser’s really interested?”  


“You should have seen him yesterday. He was in the garden all day hacking away at undergrowth. He uncovered a flagstone path that he hopes will lead to some sort of water feature. He came in the house soaked with sweat and filthy! But I’ve never seen him look so happy. His face was bright red, but he was grinning from ear to ear.”  


“Fraser?!”  


“Uh-huh! He’d like to keep it up – if that’s okay with you. He doesn’t want to step on your toes, so to speak.”  


“Of course it’s okay with me. I’m just tickled that he’s enjoying it so much.”  


Kerri watched as Renfield came alive. The pallor in his cheeks was fading and his eyes were bright, not with pain but with excitement. He even seemed to sit a little taller.  


“So, about the Historical Society?”  


“No, there just wasn’t any time. You know I talked to the Toronto Preservation Board but that was about paint colors and the roof. Has the roofer started yet?”  


“I asked him to wait a week until you could be there. I thought you should oversee the installation.”  


Renfield was at once disappointed but also glad. Disappointed because he knew that roof had to be done quickly, but glad because Kerri was right, he had been looking forward to watching the work in progress.  


“Well, maybe now he can start sooner because I will be there to see it!”  


“I had a sort of idea about the house.”  


“Well?” Renfield finally asked as she hesitated.  


“I was rearranging closets yesterday and was reminded again how little closet space we have…” again she hesitated.  


“As Ray would say ‘just spit it out’.”  


Kerri chuckled. “Well…I was thinking…you haven’t really said what you’re thinking of using the back bedroom for. So I was wondering if we might make it into a large dressing room. We could line that little existing closet with cedar and use that as a storage place for your uniform and Stetson and that lovely old quilt from your grandmother and other really important stuff. We could build in a dresser and shelving and rods for hanging things and –”  


Renfield took the paper napkin off his lap, folded in slowly and placed it next to his bowl. He then stood up and walked around the table, bent down next to her, and drew her into a huge hug. Several diners looked at them and smiled.  


“You know I love it when you hug me, but what exactly did I do –”  


“I love you,” he said. “And I love that you’re getting excited about fixing up our ‘grand old lady’.  


Kerri hugged him back. Eventually he released her and sat down.  


“Since I’m on a roll here, do you think we might be able to put a powder room downstairs? Maybe under the stairs?”  


Renfield chuckled. “You know I can’t say no to you when you look at me like that!” He grinned at her and took a drink of his tea. “Besides, I’ve already planned for that!” His grin grew even wider.  


Kerri watched him closely as he finished his breakfast. He looked so much better than just a couple of hours before and she was vastly relieved. He still looked ravaged, but better. And he was smiling.  


“I’m going to have to go pretty quick. I’ve got an appointment with Matthew and…rats! I can’t remember his name.”  


“Eric, I think. Can I come back and visit you tonight?” she asked.  


“Please! If the doctor says it’s okay. I missed you last night, but I’m rather glad you didn’t see me, the way I was feeling. I’m not sure what’s in store for me today…I just hope I’m strong enough –”  


“Strength doesn’t come from what you can do. It comes from overcoming the things you once thought you couldn’t,” she said as she smiled.  


“Who are you quoting? Freud?”  


“Nope. Eeyore.”  


“Pardon?”  


“I’m quoting Eeyore. I read in a cartoon once upon a time,” Kerri giggled.  


“Occasionally I agree with Ray. Canadians can have a weird sense of humor.” He kissed her on the forehead and said, “I’ll see you tonight…I hope.”  


His meeting with Matthew and Eric took far longer than any of them had anticipated but once it was done Renfield had little else to do until it was time for him to meet with Mark so he went down the hall from his room to watch TV. He was bored to death but also aprehensive about his next meeting with Mark. Even though he really didn't want to be there he arrived at Mark’s waiting area promptly at 4:00. At about 4:02 a young woman he did not know came out to let him know that the doctor was ready to see him.  


He tried his best to not look worried and for the most part he succeeded. He had trouble keeping the shakiness out of his voice however and when he greeted Mark, the doctor could hear the nervousness.  


“You’re looking much better this afternoon. Have a seat and try not to be so worried!” Renfield recognized Mark’s habit of leaning back in his chair when he was ready to talk. Tenting his fingers and holding them against his chin was a dead giveaway that he was ready to listen to what Renfield had to say.  


“Did you have a good visit with Kerri?” he asked.  


“Yes! I always feel better about life in general when she’s around.”  


“Why do you think that is?”  


“I don’t know. I just go with it; I’ve never really thought about it.”  


“I can’t believe that. You must have some idea.”  


Renfield thought about it for several moments. “Maybe it’s because she always makes me feel good about myself.”  


“You can’t feel good about yourself on your own?”  


“I’ve sort of always felt ineffectual.”  


“How so?”  


“I’ve always been more comfortable in the presence of children than adults, that’s why I became a teacher, I guess. Then after…after the accident I couldn’t teach anymore.” He looked at Mark and smiled. “Before you ask me if I know why I had to stop teaching, there are two reasons. One, being in the school environment reminded me too much of Melanie, since she was also a teacher and two, I had to join the Force to try to help track down their killer. I was a lousy Mountie; I couldn’t find who hit them.”  


“You believe you failed to do your duty?”  


“I did my duty, such as it was, I failed to accomplish my goal.”  


“I think lousy is a poor choice of words. If you did your duty you couldn’t have been, as you say, a lousy Mountie. How did you feel when the driver was found?”  


“I was angry! With him and with myself. I had tried so hard to forget about all of it but hearing the news of his arrest just brought all those old feelings boiling to the surface. I got through that solely because of my friends and mostly Kerri. She forced me to talk about all of it. I confronted the man and confronted those demons. Kerri’s love allowed me to think about Melanie and Meghan again for the first time in several years. And remembering them then and now makes me profoundly happy.”  


Mark was pleased that Renfield had overcome the loss of his family, to the point that he now could talk about them with only minor hesitation. “You overcame a truly horrific time in your life, but you said you still feel ineffectual.”  


“When we owned a bookstore in Chicago, I was always happiest on Saturday mornings reading to large groups of children. Ray and Fraser were out running around Chicago apprehending all sorts of criminals and I was dressed up like Merlin the Magician reading to kids.”  


“How does that make you ineffectual? Those two men were working from their strengths and you from yours. Just because they were fighting crime doesn’t make them better men. You, in your own way, were helping to nurture future adults and possibly helping them to not become the eventual targets of your friends the crime fighters. They are both noble causes.”  


Renfield smiled. “I can’t tell you the number of times Kerri has said the same thing.”  


“Then perhaps now is the time for you to start believing us. Is that why you felt your friend, your mentor would be of more interest to Kerri?”  


Renfield smiled. “Yes. But she had a different idea. Everyone was surprised when she fell in love with me, especially me! But loving me has been awfully hard on her.”  


“Why is that?”  


“It seems we’ve, that is I’ve had one calamity after another since she’s known me.”  


“For instance?”  


“Well there’s my brother who tried to kill Kerri. His step-brother who tried to kill me and –”  


“Why don’t we address these things one at a time? Were you responsible for bringing your brother back into your lives?”  


“No, that was just a horrible coincidence. We were in Las Vegas at the same time – long story.”  


“I’m here to listen.”  


So Renfield told Mark the story of René, their parents, and the wonderful woman who had raised him as her own. He told him about the disaster of a Las Vegas wedding and honeymoon and how they had all rushed to help Ray Vecchio who was trapped undercover.  


“Much like you were?”  


“Yes,” Renfield admitted.  


“But there was no one to rush to help you.” It was obvious to Mark that Renfield had never thought about that. “Thinking about it now, how does that make you feel, that everyone was able to rush to help Ray, but didn’t not rush to help you?”  


“They all thought I was dead!”  


“Ah, but that’s not what I asked you – and you didn’t know they all thought you were dead.”  


“I guess I don’t know how to answer that.” Mark watched as he thought about it and then tears well up in his eyes. “I called for Kerri! They laughed when I cried out for her, but she didn’t come. No one came for me!” he buried his face in his hands.  


Mark waited for him to composed himself before they continued. “Are you angry with your friends because of something they had no control over?”  


“I didn’t realize it, but I guess I was. It seems stupid when I think about it –”  


“Sometimes what we think and reality are two different things and that’s not stupid. It’s what we do about it now.”  


“So I’d been angry with Kerri and the others and didn’t even know it.” He thought about that for a moment and then said, “I’m sorry for that.”  


“I think we should leave it here for today. You need to do some thinking about how you feel now. You are truly making progress remembering the things that happened. I’d like to talk more about your brother tomorrow. Maybe you could tell me why your wedding was a disaster?”  


“Wow,” Renfield muttered, “that’s a whole story on its own.”  


“Would you like Lydia to call Kerri and ask her not to come this evening? It’s up to you.”  


“That would probably be a good idea, I’ve got a lot to think about and I don’t want her to see me like this.”  


“I know we've worked on your sharing everything with her, but I suggest you wait on telling anyone about your anger until we figure out how you feel about it now.”  


“That one I’d already decided.”  


“See you tomorrow,” Mark called after him as Renfield left.  


Earlier that day Kerri returned home with Ray and they went to find Ben in the jungle. Ray knew she had something on her mind but decided to wait, for a change, for her to tell him on her own, with no prodding from him.  


Once they were all together, she told them. “I’ve got some potentially good news,” she began, “we saw the doctor this morning and he said Renny might be able to come home by the end of the week.”  


“But?” Ray asked. “Come on, the Kerri we know would be jumpin’ up ‘n down. There’s more.”  


“It’s just that he looks awful,” she said, the sadness apparent in her voice, “sort of like he’s just been on a battlefield. What he’s had to go through to get to this point…”  


“You knew it would be hard on him,” Ben said, stating the obvious.  


“Knowing what might happen and actually seeing it are vastly different things. And I never imagined it would be like this. He’s so beaten. I was so shocked the doctor pulled me into the hall when I first got there and told me not to let Renny see me so upset. He basically said that if I couldn’t let my demeanor reflect how well Renny was doing I’d best not see him!”  


“He said that?” Ray demanded.  


“Not in so many words, but I knew that’s what he meant.”  


“Kerri, you have to follow the doctor’s lead. You must put your complete trust in him. Renfield is doing that and he’s getting the help he needs. Let the doctor do what needs to be done to get Renfield home safely. It’s everyone’s ultimate goal. You will impede his progress if you can’t do that.”  


Kerri knew Ben was right and hearing it from someone she respected more than anyone else in the world, apart from Renfield, seemed to help her come to terms with that truth. She had to trust that Dr. Fairchild knew what he was doing and believe he wouldn’t allow Renfield to suffer any more than was absolutely necessary.  


“You’re right, of course.” She turned and went back into the house. She began pulling things out of the refrigerator to prepare for their lunch. She had laid everything out on a cutting board just as Ray came into the kitchen.  


“I’ve gotten everything out for lunch. You can put together what you’d like – I’m going to lie down for a while.”  


She rushed out of the kitchen just as Ben came in the backdoor.  


“You were kinda rough on her, ya know.”  


“I didn’t tell her anything that she didn’t need to hear.”  


“Yeah, but ya coulda worded it a little nicer.”  


Ben dragged the tell-tale thumbnail across his brow, indicating he felt a little guilty. “Perhaps you’re right,” he muttered.  


While Ray and Ben were trying to eat ham sandwiches while worrying about their friends, Kerri paced the floor in her room. Fairchild and Ben were right. What Renfield was going through was unimaginably hard, but he had to endure it – and she had to endure the fallout. It was his job to release his emotional burden and hers to pick up the pieces. She prayed they were both up to the task.  


When Mark’s office called later that afternoon Kerri was relieved. She was not ready to see Renfield again, not until she knew she could control her emotions. She asked the caller to tell Renfield she wouldn’t be able to see him until tomorrow night. She had a doctor’s appointment first thing in the morning so she would have to miss their breakfast together.

Chapter 10

Benton was nowhere in sight when she came downstairs the next morning, ready for Ray to drive her to her doctor’s appointment. She grabbed a small bottle of juice out of the frig and a power bar and announced she was ready to go.  


“That’s all yer eatin’? Ya really should have more than that!”  


“I’m too nervous to eat. If my arm is healing as it should I might get a shorter cast today. That means I can bend my elbow again and you won’t have to be hauling me around everywhere!”  


“I don’t mind haulin’ ya around, if it means I get ta drive yer car!” She giggled and they left.  


It took a long while for her appointment but when she immerged from the office, she had a huge smile and a much smaller cast.  


“I feel almost human again!”  


“Yer a little pale, did it hurt?”  


“A little, but I’m so glad it’s healing as it should. The doctor said it looked exactly as he’d hoped and if I’m careful it should be good as new in about three weeks. What a relief!” she said as she walked out of the office building.  


“Now we just need ta get Turnbull home ‘n everything will be good again.”  


She stopped walking and waited for him to realize she wasn’t with him. He turned to see her smiling from ear to ear.  


“What?”  


“Only a little while longer and things will be good again. Thank you for reminding me.”  


“Any time, Honey. Any time.” Ray hoped things would be good for a long time to come. They’d certainly had enough of the bad.  


As usual Renfield was waiting for Mark at exactly 4:00. Knowing ahead of time what they might be talking about today made the waiting just a little easier.  


“Like I said yesterday,” he started as Renfield sat down, “I’m interested to hear about your disastrous wedding.”  


Renfield chuckled. “Well, my first mistake was letting Ray, that’s Ray Kowalski plan it. Kerri wanted a huge church wedding with lots of bridesmaids and groomsmen and flower girls and tuxedos and all the trimmings. But I just couldn’t do that again. When Melly…” he hesitated and smiled. To answer Mark’s yet unspoken question he said, “I haven’t thought of her as Melly in years. It’s a very pleasant and unexpected memory. Anyway when she and I got married we did that and it about killed me,” he laughed. “So, we decided on a smaller wedding. She let me plan it and I deferred to Ray. He said he had a ‘marvelous’ idea and that was Las Vegas.”  


“Uh oh,” Mark whispered.  


“Let me just say conjure up the worst possible image of a Las Vegas wedding. Ours was worse – much worse! We were married at Graceland’s Little Chapel O’Love, walk-in or drive through. Our officiant was an aged Elvis impersonator and the organist wore a slightly askew beehive wig and played something that had absolutely no resemblance to the wedding march. To this day none of us is sure what it was.”  


Mark was chuckling softly. “Was Kerri very upset?”  


“Surprisingly, no. Once she got past my powder blue tuxedo that was about 3” too short, she thought it was hilariously funny. She said that Ray, Ben and I looked as if we were costumed by a demented Easter bunny.”  


“And how does your brother fit into all of this?”  


“Here is gets a little confusing. Ray Vecchio was undercover in Las Vegas and by mere coincidence happened to be driving by when we were all standing on the sidewalk outside the chapel.” Renfield seemed to be lost in thought for a moment.  


“There was an international meeting of several crime families scheduled for the next few days and one member of the Canadian contingent had recently broken out of prison and arrived early. That was René. Vecchio and Fraser had actually met René before but did not recognize him as looking like me. Anyway, Vecchio knew that René would remember him and knew that his life was in danger. He was able to find out where Fraser was staying and enlisted his – our – help.”  


“Up to this point you had no idea René existed?”  


“No,” Renfield admitted sadly. “Vecchio told me at a diner on the Strip. I didn’t believe him at first.”  


“But you soon came to, believe him, I mean?”  


“Yes.” Renfield was answering more slowly now as the worst of the Las Vegas memories were coming to mind. “Vecchio reminded Fraser of the time they met René and Fraser knew, even with a scared face and mustache René was identical to me.”  


“Looked,” Mark commented.  


“Pardon?”  


“He looked identical, not was identical. There’s a vast difference.”  


“Yes, of course,” Renfield muttered. “Once Vecchio was convinced that I was up to the challenge it was decided that René would be kidnapped, and I would take his place at the meeting. Once –”  


“Why was it necessary for Vecchio to be convinced you were up to the challenge?”  


“When I knew Ray Vecchio, before he went undercover, I was still hiding within myself. Still what the other Ray called the ‘Goofy Mountie’.”  


Mark made a note on his pad, but Renfield didn’t ask what that was. “You were saying, before I interrupted?”  


“We were able to do all of that, but René escaped and grabbed Kerri out of our motel room.” Renfield turned his head sharply, as if he couldn’t look at the memories that suddenly assailed him.  


“What did René do to Kerri?”  


“He beat her and held her at gunpoint. He…God! He looked just like me and he was pointing a gun at her head! He said he would rape her and make me watch. He touched her breast and I sort of went crazy. We fought for the gun and I thought I was fighting myself – sort of like being in a dream, struggling with myself, wanting to kill myself.” He didn’t even realize tears were streaming down his cheeks. “I killed him…”  


Renfield snatched at the box of tissues next to his chair. Wiping his eyes he said, “I’m getting very tired of doing this every time I see you!”  


“We are dredging up some very old, very painful memories and I am amazed at how well you have handled everything thus far.”  


“Well I sure didn’t handle the aftermath of René’s death very well.”  


“Explain.”  


“I couldn’t face her. I couldn’t bear to let her look at me. I was afraid that every time she looked at me, she would see him, and I would be able to see it in her eyes – the fear of me!”  


“But it wasn’t you, just someone who looked outwardly like you.”  


“Kerri told me the same thing.”  


“Did that help you?”  


“No! The more I was around her the more I couldn’t stand it. I just knew that she would come to hate me. So I left. She was hurt and beaten and scared and I just walked away. No, correct that, I RAN away. We were supposed to be on our honeymoon, so no one came to visit or called. I ran away and left her completely alone.”  


“Did you –”  


Renfield jumped up and began pacing. “I cannot keep doing this to her!" he shouted. "I’ve hurt her over and over again! And now I’ve broken her arm! She does not deserve to be treated this way! I’m becoming just like René!”  


“Renfield,” Mark said softly but in a tone that got Renfield’s immediate attention. “Please sit down.”  


“I apologize for my outburst,” he said as he collapsed into his chair.  


“I think we have just reached the heart of the matter here. Even before you knew you had an identical twin you have tried repeatedly to prove to yourself, and others, that you are a good man. When you met René it undermined everything you had been trying to prove. You couldn’t save your wife and daughter, so you stopped trying, stopped living for a while. You didn’t believe you deserved to win the hand of the pretty girl, but when you did you started to prove yourself all over again. René beat that progress down to nothing, but then you tried again, with your wife by your side. The latest attempt was your undercover assignment.  


“I have read a great deal about the bond between identical twins, or quite possibly in your case Mirror Twins. I am sensing that even though you did not mentally know of René’s existence, you may very well have known in your heart.”  


"What is a Mirror Twin?"  


"Approximately one quarter of identical twins are mirror images of each other, which means the right side of one child matches the left side of their twin. And quite possibly each twin exhibits the exact opposite personality - or at least the potential to be the exact opposite," Mark explained. "I have observed that you are right-handed. Do you know about René?"  


Renfield tried to conjure up images of his twin as he held Kerri at gunpoint. As he reluctantly remembered it now René did hold the gun in his left hand. "I think maybe he was." His eyes grew wide. "The mirror twin thing must be why -"  


"Looking at him was like looking in a mirror. Have you ever thought that far from trying to prove yourself to others you were attempting to prove to yourself that you are not the man your brother was? And when, in your eyes, you’ve failed you came to believe you were more like René than ever before?"  


“You mean I have spent my whole life trying to prove I wasn’t evil.”  


“Your brother might have been born with the propensity toward violence – you may have even been born with the same. You’ve told me you were raised by loving parents and René was not. You know the difference between good and evil and strive to do the good, as do most men. René might not have been afforded that luxury. His parents –”  


“His stepfather was a crime boss and his mother was a sociopath.”  


“And he was raised by the crime boss?” Renfield nodded. “So, we have two boys identical in appearance. One raised in a loving, nurturing home and the other in a violent, dysfunctional one. The latter one grows into a violent psychopath and the former into a kind, sensitive, albeit conflicted man. They still look pretty much the same on the outside, but they are nothing alike on the inside – where it matters. You and your brother are, were, products of your birth but much more importantly, how you were raised.”  


“So you’re saying that I am lucky to have the parents I had?”  


"Uh-huh."  


“My dad keeps telling me that!” Renfield was able to smile slightly.  


“You have my permission to tell him I said he is right!”  


At this moment Renfield felt better than he had in days. Admitting that he felt he was turning in to René lifted a burden off his heart. Telling someone lifted it off his mind. With all that had happened in the last few days he knew now that he was no longer a threat to Kerri. He was vastly relieved.  


“You’ve just had a realization, haven’t you?” Mark smiled a very self-satisfied smile. Without waiting for Renfield to respond, he asked, “how would you like to go home tomorrow?”  


“Seriously?”  


“If I were kidding about this your wife would probably throttle me! Give her a call and tell her that both of you need to meet with me tomorrow morning and then she needs to get a little training and pick up your CPAP…and you. There’s still work for us to do, but that can be done on an outpatient basis. You’ve come an exceedingly long way in a truly short amount of time, and I couldn’t be happier,” Mark said as he extended his hand to Renfield.  


Renfield walked back to his room with a lightness in his step that had been missing for a long time.

Chapter 11

Renfield asked the nurses for his cell phone and told them he would be leaving tomorrow. Grainne, a sweet young Irish student nurse handed him his phone and recited an Irish blessing for him “May good luck be with you wherever you go, and your blessings outnumber the shamrocks that grow. May your days be many, and your troubles be few, may all God's blessings descend upon you, May peace be within you, may your heart be strong, may you find what you're seeking wherever you roam.”  


He was so touched he hugged her. “Thank you,” he whispered.  


He took the phone into his room and sat to compose himself. He took a few moments and then placed the call.  


“Hi!” she answered. “They gave you your phone back! Guess what?” she asked before he even had a chance to speak.  


“What?” he chuckled, just thrilled to hear her voice.  


“I got my cast cut down today, so I can bend my elbow! That way Ray or Ben don’t have to haul me to see you once or twice a day!”  


“That’s wonderful! I’m so glad you have a little more freedom of movement, but it really wouldn’t matter after tomorrow anyway.”  


“Why?”  


“Guess.”  


“Renfield! Don’t tease – WAIT! Are you coming home?!”  


“Yep!”  


“YIPEE!”  


Renfield laughed out loud. “Fraser and Ray are going to think you’ve gone nuts!”  


“Ben’s not here and Ray is in the attic and I doubt he can hear me all the way up there. I am so excited! We need to have a celebration dinner, with cake and ice cream!”  


Renfield was still laughing, so thrilled to hear the excitement in her voice. He was still a little concerned that she would be afraid of him. “It’s not my birthday! Do you want me to cook?”  


“NO! You’re the guest of honor, you’re not supposed to do anything! Maybe I could shove some cake in your mouth!”  


“We’re not having a wedding reception either.” God it was good to hear her sound so carefree! “Wait! What’s Ray doing in the attic? I hope you told him to be careful, he could fall through the ceiling!”  


“He and Ben are working on some sort of project and they said it was a surprise.”  


“Speaking of falling through the ceiling. Would you mind calling the roofer and see when they can start?”  


“I saw on the news that it’s supposed to cool down in the next few days. I hope they can start while it’s not so hot.”  


“Kerri?”  


“Hmm?”  


“I love you.”  


“And I love you right back!”  


“Even after –”  


“DON’T! I love you first, last, and always. What time can I come get you?”  


“Mark would like to speak with us briefly and then we can pick up my CPAP. You need to get just a little training and then I am FREE!”  


“Can I come see you this evening?”  


“They’d rather you didn’t. There’s still a few loose ends to tie up, but I’ll be raring to go in the morning!”  


They chatted awhile longer and then Kerri heard someone come into his room. “Matthew’s here to speak with me, so I need to go. I’ll see you about 8:30 in the morning, in my room?”  


“I’ll see you then. I love you.”  


Just as she ended the call Kerri heard Ben come in the front door. The last time they were together he had told her some hard truths and they hadn’t spoken since. That was primarily because Kerri had avoided him. She was sorry about that; she knew Ben only had their best interests at heart. She was going to have to make amends and there was no time like the present.  


She heard him fumbling with something and came running. He was carrying several huge books and what looked to her like old accounting ledgers. “What in the world?”  


“Just some light reading,” he explained, as the top book slid off the stack and as he attempted to grab it all the rest landed in a loud crash on the ground.  


Kerri laughed and bent to help him pick up the mess. “Where? What?” she asked as he snatched a book out of her hand.  


“That’s a secret! And where I’ve been is also a secret.”  


“Hey Fraze! Saw ya drive up from the attic window,” Ray called as he bounded down the stairs. “Can’t find nothin’…Hi, Kerri,” he said as if she was intruding in some dark mystery.  


“What’s going on here?” It was more of a demand than a question.  


“It’s a surprise!” Both men said at once.  


“Well, if you’re not going to tell me your surprise, I’m not going to tell you mine!” She looked just like a little girl, and except for the omission of ‘so there’ at the end of her sentence she would have sounded like one too.  


“Ya don’t hafta tell us, we already know!” Ray could have also ended his sentence with ‘so there!’.  


“How –”  


“It’s written all over your face,” Ben smiled. “Turnbull is coming home. When?”  


“Tomorrow morning!” She was so excited she could barely contain herself.  


“Now that’s the Kerri we know, yer jumpin’ up ‘n down.”  


“And you’re not concerned about –”  


“No, you were right. It just took me awhile to fully admit it. All of this has been dreadfully hard on him, but I need to let his doctor do what he needs to. But now he will be home, and I can help him!”  


Ben smiled at her and took his load of books upstairs.  


“We need ta have a homecomin’ party! Like the one we had after he got poisoned!”  


“Well, except it will have to be much smaller. We don’t know that many people anymore.”  


Ray knew she'd never admit it but he could tell that she still missed the life they all had in Chicago - before Turnbull made the fateful decsion to go undercover. She hid it well - but Ray could still read her like a book.  


“How about if we grill some steaks?” Ben asked as he came back downstairs – without his load of reading material.  


“As long as ya don’t turn ‘em inta pemmican!”  


“Renfield has already volunteered to cook. I told him no, since he’s the guest of honor, but now I’m thinking that’s something he would really like to do.”  


“How ‘bout we get the stuff ‘n he can cook it?”  


“Deal! Oh! Could you get a cake and some ice cream? Not chocolate, he doesn’t like chocolate cake.”  


“But it’s your favorite.”  


“Ah, but it’s his party.”  


“Sacrificing for him again?” Ben teased  


“Even he knows not to get between me and chocolate!” She giggled, thinking of whipped cream and chocolate sauce. Then she blushed.  


The blush was completely lost on Fraser, but Ray just rolled his eyes.  


Ben and Ray left for the market and Kerri was alone in the house for the first time in quite a while. She decided to walk from room to room mentally listing everything she liked about each specific room. She was going to learn to love every inch of this old place, even if it killed her!  


She first went to the dining room. Right now it was a jumble of mostly empty packing boxes. She decided to break them down before moving on to other rooms so she went in search of a box cutter and then began her task.  


She picked an out of the way corner to stack the flattened boxes and got to work. When she went to begin stacking the flattened boxes, she saw something on the hardwood flooring that she hadn’t noticed before. In this corner, protected from years of wear and grime, there was an approximately 15cm wide band of intricately woven inlay around the edges of the parquet floor.  


She was so intrigued she ran to the kitchen for a glass of water and a soft cloth. Applying a tiny amount of water to the cloth she rubbed a small area. She went around the room doing the same thing in several places and determined that the inlay wrapped the entire room, including around the bay window.  


She stood in the middle of the room and imagined what it must have been like back in the day. A huge grand candle chandelier dripping with sparkling crystal ornamentation would have dominated the space, with a highly polished mahogany dining table below it. In a room this size 10, even 12, Victorian gentlemen and ladies, dressed in their finest tuxedos and gowns could have been seated comfortably. The fireplace would have once been surrounded by ornately carved cabinets on the bottom and leaded glass doors on the top displaying the family’s finest crystal stemware. On the other side of the room would have possibly been a highly carved oriental style buffet server with a gleaming silver tea service standing proudly on top. All of this would be completed with heavy floral damask draperies with gold fringe and matching seats of the chairs.  


She stood, lost in thought, imagining a butler coming through the swinging door that closed off the kitchen carrying a silver serving tray. This room would have been a center of Victorian gaiety.  


Kerri’s imagination got the better of her, and for a moment she was back in time more than 100 years. Dressed in a deep blue silk gown trimmed in yards and yards of black lace, she presided over the festivities at one end, as Renfield, in his impossibly stiff white shirt and black tuxedo, sat across from her at the opposite end of the long table.  


Eventually the gentlemen retired to the library for cigars and brandy and the ladies went to the parlor to discuss the gossip of the day. Then, eventually, Kerri was brought back to the present.  


She smiled deeply as she stood in the center of the room that was now over 100 years older and very much the worse for wear. Just that little bit of parquet inlay had caused her to acquire the same vision as Renfield and then Ben. And she knew what this house had once been and what it could be again. A Grand Old Lady.  


She had fallen in love with their house.  


“Tell me again why we gotta go all the way ta Cabbagetown when there’s a perfectly good supermarket a helluva lot closer?”  


“Well Ray, my friend, Cabbagetown has the best butcher shop in all of Toronto.”  


“Ah. Well then, let’s go!” He threw the Mustang into gear and off they went for the best steaks money could buy.  


With six lovely scotch fillets, four for dinner tomorrow and two for Turnbull to stuff in the freezer, tucked safely in the trunk, they stopped at a Cabbagetown organic grocery. They found everything they needed for sautéed asparagus with hollandaise, a big green salad, and one ear of corn for Ray. (He hated asparagus.) They were even able to find a white cake with white icing. They asked at the bakery and had ‘welcome home’ written on it. Ray pleaded with the baker to put a few chocolate flowers on just one corner of the cake and even though the baker thought it looked silly, she agreed. Ray also insisted they wait to select the perfect vanilla ice cream until the last possible moment. There was nothing worse, to his mind anyway, than ice cream that had melted and then been refrozen.  


Before they pulled away from the curb Ray decided to put the top down on her car. “Kerri doesn’t work this mechanism nearly enough,” he explained, not wanting to admit he thought driving with the top down was cool.  


Kerri saw them pull into the driveway and chuckled. If she didn’t know it before, she decided now. When she died Ray Kowalski was going to inherit her car!  


“What’s up?” Ray asked immediately as they carried the grocery bags through the door.  


“You have to see what I found!” She allowed them a moment to put the steaks in the refrigerator and the ice cream in the freezer, but that was all. She all but dragged Ben into the dining room.  


“Look at this!” she exclaimed.  


“Wow, ya sure cleaned up in here. Looks good,” Ray muttered.  


“No silly! Look!” Kerri pointed to the floor.  


“Oh my!” Ben saw it immediately as he knelt to investigate.  


“So what? It’s a floor.” Unfortunately, Ray did not.  


“Does it go –”  


“All the way around, even around the angles of the bay! Isn’t it gorgeous?”  


“What?” Ray was completely confused.  


“The inlay, Ray. Back then this kind of woodwork was done by true craftsmen. This is exceptionally fine detail,” he muttered as he ran his fingers over the wood.  


“I wonder what else we will find as we work on her?” she mused.  


“Ah, you’ve caught it then. Renfield’s vision.”  


“God, if it’s contagious, I’m gettin the heck outta here!”  


Kerri laughed as she nodded. “I was standing in here, after I saw the floor, and I was just transported back in time – to formal dinner parties, and tuxedos and gowns. The gentlemen and ladies dressed in their finest and how gorgeous this room would have been back then. Gorgeous cabinetry flanking the crackling fire. Candlelit and shimmering.”  


“Jeez!”  


“Ray! Kerri is exactly right! They have the opportunity to turn this house back into what it once was. I think that is a marvelous gift.”  


“Like I said – jeez!” But then he saw the look on Kerri’s face. She looked heartbroken that he didn’t share their vision. “Okay, I’ll admit it. I like the kitchen, ‘n the pantry thing is cool. ‘N my mom would love ta have a dining room this big. So, okay I’ll try to see what all a you see.”  


Kerri hugged him and said, “thank you.”  


"What's the deal with the brass plate in the middle of the floor? It's not for electrical," Ray asked, pointing to a spot on the floor that had given Renfield and Kerri no end of curiosity.  


"That my friend is a butler call button! It's connected to a bell, at least it used to be connected to a bell, in the butler's pantry. The mistress of the house would step on it to signal the butler or maid that they were needed. Probably to bring in the next course. Of course it was always hidden under carpet so the guests would think the servants were very well trained and just shot of showed up at the precise moment they were needed. I'd like to have it reconnected, just so we could pretend we have a butler!" She giggled as Ray rolled his eyes, then she turned to Ben. “Could you guys take the boxes outside to the recycling bin and maybe help me clean this floor? It looks like there’s always been a carpet under whatever table was here, so the middle of the floor is pretty clean, but the perimeter is awful. I googled it and we can use water and vinegar to clean the really bad stuff, but we’ve got to be sure not to get it too wet – only damp. It may be in good enough shape that it doesn’t need to be refinished.”  


Ray smiled at her. Yep, she’d been bitten by the same bug as Turnbull and Fraser, he thought.  


“Yeah, but yer not gonna do it! You said the doc said ta take it easy on that arm for it ta heal properly. Me ‘n Fraze will do it. You supervise, or better yet make us sumpthin’ ta eat – this may take a while.”  


Kerri went to fix them something to eat while working and the guys hauled all the empty boxes and packing materials out of the room.  


When they came back inside Fraser stopped dead in the entrance to the dining room. “Something has always bothered me about that wall,” he muttered. “Something Kerri said.” He grabbed his knife and went to the fireplace wall. First, he knocked on that wall and then the kitchen wall. He did the same all around the room.  


“Do you hear the difference in sound?”  


“Yeah, that wall’s not plaster, it’s sheet rock.”  


“That means it’s not original to the house. I wonder…” He took his knife and cut a 15cm square out of the drywall, close to the floor right next to the fireplace. “Ask Kerri if she has a flashlight. But don’t tell her why – I don’t want her to see that I’ve cut a hole in her wall until I have something to show her.”  


Ray came back for the kitchen with a flashlight and a huge bite of turkey sandwich in his mouth.  


Shining the light through the hole Ben exclaimed, “eureka! Kerri, come here!” he yelled.  


Kerri had never heard Ben yell before, so she dropped everything and came running.  


“What!” and then she saw the hole in the wall. “What on earth have you done to my wall?”  


“Look!”  


She bent down to get a closer look. “Tear it down! Please Ben, tear it all down!” she exclaimed.  


Carefully, so as not to damage whatever lay behind it, Ray and Ben pulled down the drywall, small pieces at a time. After several minutes one side of the fireplace wall was almost completely torn away.  


“Why in the world would anyone want to cover that up?” Ben asked of no one in particular.  


Kerri gaped at it, having turned deathly pale.  


“Honey, ya okay? Yer as white as a sheet.”  


“This is exactly what I saw in that vision, or whatever it was, I had right before you came home!”  


The removal of the drywall revealed an intricately carved, wall to wall, built in china cabinet. It extended almost to the tall ceiling and looked to be in pristine condition. Removing the drywall had also uncovered a portion of a wooden fireplace surround, complete with wood and kindling storage. The original fireplace mantel was missing, but above where it had once been was a large mirror.  


Ben stroked the wood of the china cabinet as he might have stroked a beautiful woman. “This is satin birch,” he muttered to himself. “Who the hell would cover this up!” he demanded.  


“Maybe sumbudy who didn’t like ta dust,” Ray kidded.  


“Could we please see the other side?” Kerri pleaded.  


In mere minutes, the entire fireplace wall revealed its hidden treasure. The other side of the fireplace was a mirror image of the first and as equally intact. As one they all stepped back to get the full effect.  


“Cool.”  


“Magnificent.”  


“Renny’s going to love this! Even the leaded glass doors are in perfect condition! Oh my gosh! Where’s my phone!” Kerri ran off to find her phone, which these days served more to take pictures than to make calls.  


“Ya gonna send them ta Turnbull?”  


“Oh no! He’s got to see this in person first.”  


Ben spent the rest of the evening cleaning the damage the drywall had done to the plaster walls and ceiling while Ray cleaned the floor and Kerri spent her time polishing the newly uncovered woodwork. They worked well into the night and by the time they were done the dining room looked remarkably close to Kerri’s vision. The floor had cleaned up nicely and looked as though it would not need to be refinished, the woodwork on the china cabinets must have been covered early on because it looked virtually untouched by the ravages of time. After Ben’s repairs the walls would only need to be painted. The only things missing were a candle chandelier and furniture to complete Kerri’s vision.  


“We dun good!” Ray announced as he surveyed the finished room. “I even kinda like that inlay thingy. It must have taken some real talent ta do that. And a helluva lot a patience.”  


“If you like that, come take a look at the entry hall.” Ray followed Ben to the front door. “Look at the floor.”  


“It’s really dirty,” he said as he bent to take a closer look. Kerri turned on the light and then Ray could see it. “The tile looks like a rug. Actually I thought it was a rug. It’s got a bunch a damage at the door sill ‘n right here in the middle.” He began to stroke the tile, just as Fraser had stroked the wood of the china cabinets. “Me ‘n my dad worked on some tile just like this in a house he was tryin ta help my uncle fix up.” He stood up and looked at Fraser. “I think I could fix this, if we can find matchin’ tile.”  


“I think Renfield got some of this tile when he got the tile for the kitchen,” Kerri said. “You really think you can fix it?”  


“Yep,” he said, “but not tonight! I’m beat.”  


Both men thought Kerri was about to cry. “I’m so glad you’re here! Both of you. You have made all of this so much easier for me. Thank you.”

Chapter 12

The next morning Kerri left Ray and Ben investigating the entryway tile and drove herself to the hospital. She made sure to leave extra early since it had been awhile since the last time she’d driven, and she still had slightly limited mobility in her arm. She also took Renfield’s monster SUV, so she didn’t have to worry about the gear shift.  


Ray had tried his best to stop her, but she insisted, and Ray knew better than to argue with her when she took that tone. He didn’t realize that she had an ulterior motive – she was concerned about him. He hadn’t seen her and Renfield together in a while and she did not want to hurt him. Oh, she knew the three of them would have to be together very soon, but just not yet. And she really wanted to be alone with Renfield even if it was only for a short amount of time.  


In the end driving was the easy part – parking was another story. Finding a place to park the beast proved to be daunting. Finally she cheated and parked in the lot of a grocer’s and hurried to the hospital. She figured they could go into the store before they left for home and buy enough to make up for taking the spot.  


She arrived at Renfield’s room just a couple of minutes after 8:30 and found he wasn’t alone. He and Mark were chatting away, about Victorian houses, if she was any judge.  


When Renfield looked up and saw her standing there he smiled, a smile that lit the room. It brightened his face to the point that Mark turned to look in her direction.  


“I should have known, only one thing gives a man in love a smile like that. Good morning, Kerri, please come in.”  


“Good morning,” Kerri smiled at them both and perched on the edge of the bed.  


“I was telling Mark about the house. What?” he asked at her grin.  


“It’s a surprise!”  


Mark ignored the look that passed between them. “I wanted to speak briefly with you both. I just want to be sure you are both comfortable with Renfield’s coming home.”  


“Absolutely!” Renfield exclaimed.  


Kerri’s answer came a little more slowly. “Yes,” she said with little enthusiasm.  


“Kerri? What is it?” Renfield asked. “You’re not afraid I’ll hurt –”  


“NO! It’s just…uh, I didn’t expect…um…I mean I thought you didn’t want me…I didn’t expect you to ask…”  


Mark interrupted her to try to explain. “Kerri, I never meant that you couldn’t show how you feel forever. I just didn’t want you to upset him when he had just had a very stressful session. I’m sorry if you misunderstood. Of course you should show him how you feel. Trying to stop you would be like trying to stop a force of nature!” he grinned at her.  


“In that case,” she launched herself off the bed and threw her arms around her husband. “YES, yes, yes I want him home!”  


Mark had never been more amazed at anything as much as he was amazed by Renfield and Kerri. He was happy to know them.  


“Go get your CPAP and get going! Here’s your appointment for next week,” he handed Renfield an appointment card. “We’re going to be meeting twice a week for a next little while, and then we may switch to group meetings,” he explained to Kerri. “I’m planning on speaking with Gene Giroux about including you in a few of our sessions. If that’s okay with you?” asking Kerri.  


“Which part?” They all laughed. “Fine with me.”  


It took about an hour and then they were on their way back to the car. “We need to go into the grocery for a few things,” Kerri said as they walked. “I parked your car in their lot, and I think we should at least buy something since I took up one of their parking places.”  


“How about a nice triple cream cheese with some water crackers? Oh! I know – a good French brie and crostini.”  


“You’re making me hungry!”  


“Why don’t we get a few cheeses, crostini, crackers and some fruit.”  


They left the store with a couple of nice baguettes, a few kinds of artisanal cheeses, strawberries, apples, and grapes. And sparkling cider. Enough for an early afternoon feast. Enough that Kerri no longer felt guilty for stealing one of the store’s parking places for a couple of hours  


“I’ll put together a nice cheese board and we can all sit and relax,” Renfield decided.  


Or not, Kerri grinned. Once he sees the work that’s been done it’s going to be hard for him to sit still!  


When they arrived at the house Ray and Ben were nowhere to be found. Ray’s rental car wasn’t in the driveway and the front door was locked.  


“I hope they’re not avoiding me,” Renfield muttered. “It must be hard to know what to say to someone who’s just had a crack up.”  


“Renfield Turnbull! What a terrible thing to say! You did NOT have a crack up! And Ray and Ben wouldn’t avoid you even if you had! They asked every day when they could come visit you. Dr. Fairchild just didn’t want you to have company while you were working so hard to get past everything.”  


“I’m sorry,” he said. “I should have never even thought that. They’ve helped you, both of us, so much.”  


He started to climb the front steps when Kerri yelled, “stop!”  


“It’s okay, I know which step to avoid.”  


“No wait! I need to make a call before you go in.” She fished through her purse and found her phone. “Hi, it’s me. We’re home, where are you?”  


“Have ya gone in yet?”  


“No, but when are you going to be back?” She heard him talking to someone else and thought she heard a woman’s voice.  


“Better go on in without us, we’re gonna be a little longer than we thought. We’ll be there in ‘bout a half hour or so.”  


“You’re sure? I thought you wanted to be in on the surprise,” she whispered.  


“Oh, we will be.”  


Kerri ended the call, wondering what Ray was talking about. “We can go in now,” she said as she hurried past Renfield. “But I need to go in first.”  


He followed her into the entry hall and immediately noticed that the tile had been cleaned. “Oh! This looks marvelous! Did you –”  


“No, Ray did, with some help from Ben, I guess. They must have cleaned it this morning. Ray said he could fix the tile where it’s broken or cracked, if that’s okay with you.”  


“Of course! It looks so good.”  


“There’s something else I want to show you. Close your eyes.” She walked to the pocket doors that closed off the dining room from the entry hall and slowly pulled back the heavy doors. They creaked and groaned quite a bit from lack of use, but she was eventually able to get them opened fully.  


“Give me your hand, but don’t open your eyes yet.” She pulled him to the dining room entry and stationed him in the middle of the opening. “Open your eyes!”  


Renfield was stunned. He couldn’t believe his eyes – the room was glowing, with beautiful, highly polished wood everywhere. The china cabinets and fireplace surround caught his eye first, of course, and just as Ben had done, he made his way to them and reverently touched the gleaming wood.  


“This looks as if it was installed yesterday. The wood is birch, I think,” he muttered to himself as he continued to run his hands over the cabinetry. “The carving is wonderful; it must have taken hundreds of hours to do this! This is wonderful! How –”  


“It was sort of a group effort. I had a sort of a vision and Ben said he thought there was something wrong about that wall and he and Ray figured out it was drywall and I discovered the inlay on the floor and well…”  


“The floor! Look at the beautiful floor. It doesn’t even look like it will need to be refinished. Did you clean – you shouldn’t be doing that with your arm –”  


“I didn’t! Ray said the same thing as you. He wouldn’t let me do it – he did it. We all stayed up late last night so we could get this done. All it took was a mild solution of water and vinegar. Just a damp sponge and voilà! The beautiful floor is revealed.”  


“Look at the inlay! Oh my, this whole room is gorgeous. All we need is a –”  


“Candle chandelier and furniture. A dining set for 10-12 people and maybe an ornate, Chinese buffet server and silver – plate of course.”  


He gave Kerri a very odd look. “You said you had a sort of a vision?”  


“It’s rather silly. I just stood in this room and was sort of transported back in time. I imagined what this room would have looked like when it was newly built. I even saw the cabinets and fireplace surround before we uncovered it.”  


“I had the same sort of vision of this whole house the first time I saw it.” He opened his arms to her, and she stepped into a very tender embrace. “I prayed that you would come to share my vision,” he whispered. “I guess God has answered my prayers – literally.”  


“Maybe we should turn this room into a ball room – we could waltz here every night!”  


Renfield almost laughed out loud. “I’m afraid I’m a little too clumsy for that.”  


“Don’t sell yourself short, I can think of one or two things you’re graceful at.”  


He held her more tightly and whispered in her ear, “I’ve missed this so much, being this close to you. Your body next to mine.” He began to move against her, and she responded – at the same moment they heard a car pull into the driveway.  


“I think we’re going to have to take this up again – later.”  


Renfield went to the door to greet his friends and saw that they were not alone. With them were two women, one quite elderly and the other slightly younger than the first. Ben, dressed in full red serge regalia, was helping the older of the two women out of the car. She looked to be of advanced age, maybe in her 90s, with rather wild white hair. When she stood Renfield could see that she was slightly stooped and obviously needed both a cane and Fraser’s arm to lean on for support.  


The younger of the two women was helped out of the car by Ray. She looked to be in her late 60s and her hair had not yet turned completely grey. She was obviously spryer than her friend, but still needed Ray’s steadying hand to help her navigate the cracked concrete sidewalk to the porch.  


“I think we’re about to have company,” he said as he turned to Kerri.  


They went to the porch to greet their visitors.  


Ray and Ben helped the older woman up the steps as Renfield took the arm of the younger one.  


“Hello,” Renfield said to her and he helped her up the steps. Kerri greeted them on the porch, and they all went inside.  


“I’m sorry we don’t have too many comfortable places to sit, as you can see, we’re in the process of moving in.” The women were made comfortable on the sofa and Ray ran to get some folding chairs.  


“Renfield and Kerri Turnbull, this is Mary Moore and her companion Rebecca Stafford,” Ben said as the rest of them took their seats. “Mary has a story she’d like to tell you. Her grandfather built this house.”  


“Oh my goodness,” Kerri exclaimed. “Did you live here?”  


“Yes, my dear,” Mary said, “for a great many years. I was raised from an early age by my grandfather, whose name was Clement Berkeley.”  


“The name of our street.”  


“Yes. He was a prominent railroad man in the late 19th and early 20th century.”  


“How long did you live here?” Renfield asked.  


“I was born here and didn’t move out until I wasn’t able to keep this big old place any longer.”  


“Did the bank take it over then?” Kerri asked.  


“In 1979 the money Grandfather left in trust for maintenance of the house ran out. I tried to stay on, even though the house had always been far too much for me. In the end I got a smaller apartment and have lived there ever since.” She turned to Rebecca and patted her on the knee. “Rebecca has been with me for, what, about fifteen years?”  


Rebecca smiled and said, “just about that, you’re right. And I’ve never seen the inside of this house. It must have been very grand in its day  


“That must have made you very sad, to lose your family home.” Ben said.  


“Not particularly. The bank president was a friend of Grandfather’s. He did the best he could to keep the house in the Berkeley name, but after several years I told him it wasn’t necessary. This place didn’t have happy memories for me.”  


“I’m so sorry if we’ve brought up unhappy memories for you,” Renfield apologized.  


“Not in the least. It’s not often that an old lady like me has the opportunity to go for an outing with two handsome young men. Especially when one of them is a Mountie. And visit with a lovely young couple.  


“Grandfather was a stern man,” she remembered. “But he loved my grandmother very much. He built this house for her. Everything he did was for the love of his Mary. My father was the chauffeur and his father the groom before him, straight off the boat from County Cork. Mother married Father in secret, but Grandfather drove my father off before I was born. My mother died of consumption when I was five. Grandfather grew into a hard, bitter man. But,” she said looking around the parlor, “he did know how to surround himself with beauty. At least it once was beautiful. Are you going to try to restore it to the way it once was?”  


“We’re going to try,” Renfield said. “Come see what my friends just found.”  


Ben took her hand and helped her to her feet. “Oh, so gallant! You are a rare breed young man.” Ben blushed and Ray rolled his eyes.  


Renfield led them to the dining room. Mary stopped in the entrance and stared. “I’d forgotten about this! When I was about seven or eight, I used to sneak in here, strictly forbidden of course, and I’d sit on the floor and take the contents of the cabinets out and play with them. Grandfather caught me, fired my nanny and, when no one seemed to be able to keep me out, he eventually had the cabinets walled up to punish me, I guess.”  


“Was there an oriental buffet on this wall?” Kerri asked.  


“Why yes…there was! And a huge chandelier lit with candles in my younger years, before the house was electrified. I used to sneak halfway down the stairs and watch the diners seated at the long table, the ladies in their gowns and wish I would be as beautiful when I grew up.” Her memories got the better of her and she drifted back more than 80 years.  


“When I was 18 Grandfather arranged for me to marry the son of one of his business associates. And to everyone’s surprise, I fell in love. Grandfather arranged everything, he even insisted that we live here. The only thing he could not plan for was Sept 10, 1939. James went to war and was killed before we ever had a chance to marry.”  


“Why don’t we go in and sit again,” Ben suggested, sensing that Mary was growing weary.  


“Which room was your bedroom?” Kerri asked once they were seated again.  


“The one in the tower! I loved that room. I spent a lot of time alone and I used to pretend I was a princess trapped in a castle tower.”  


“Like Rapunzel!” Kerri said.  


“Exactly!”  


“That room has quite a bit of water damage right now,” Renfield said.  


“Do you remember how your room was decorated? I’d love to bring it back to what it once was.” Kerri asked.  


“Grandfather insisted it be pink…”  


“Oh dear,” Renfield muttered.  


“But I don’t care for pink, never have.” She was again lost in her memories. “Grandfather died in 1960. And I was left alone. Mother had been an only child as was I. Since I never married, I think the neighbors thought of me as the crazy old spinster lady.”  


“Did your grandmother die young, too?” Kerri asked.  


“In childbirth.”  


Kerri wanted to cry for the life this gentle woman could have had. “I am so sorry,” she whispered.  


“Would either of you like some iced tea? Or water?” Renfield asked, wondering what in the world had happened to his manners.  


“Water for both of us please,” Rebecca spoke up before Mary had a chance. “You know caffeine doesn’t agree with you.”  


“It is herbal tea, would that be all right, if you’d like tea, of course.”  


Mary smiled at Kerri’s suggestion and Renfield and Ray went to the kitchen. After they left the room Mary said, “your young man doesn’t look at all well. Benton told us he’d been in hospital, is he doing better now?”  


“Yes, thank you. He loves this house very much and hearing about it from firsthand experience is making him incredibly happy – I can tell!”  


“You have a wonderful young man please take good care of him. I can tell you love each other very much. That is a very precious gift, always remember that,” she said with a note of wistfulness.  


“Did you ever hear from your father again?” Kerri asked.  


“If he ever tried to contact my mother or me, Grandfather would have put a stop to it. The idea of anyone under this roof being in contact with an Irishman would have been repugnant to him. I don’t even know what my father looked like. The fact that I am half Irish was almost more than Grandfather could bear.”  


Renfield and Ray returned with iced tea for everyone and they all sipped their teas in temporary silence.  


Finally Mary thought to ask, “are the gardens still intact? They were my favorite part of the house. I’d leave my tower and run through the wonderful flowers and plants and fountains.”  


“There were fountains?”  


“Oh, yes my Dear. Three of them. Grandfather and Grandmother had made the Victorian equivalent of the Grand Tour as their honeymoon. Grandmother fell in love with Italy and had the fountains shipped from Genova, or so my mother told me. Are they still there?”  


This time Ben spoke up. “The gardens are very overgrown, I afraid. I’ve been spending days out there investigating and clearing the overgrowth. I still have well over 75% of the area to investigate, but I haven’t located any fountains – yet. But I intend to keep searching.”  


“I have pictures, if you would like to see them.”  


As one the four youngest mouths in the room dropped open. “Oh yes!” Benton exclaimed.  


“She has a suitcase full of pictures, mostly of the exterior of the house. She has asked me several times over the years to get rid of them, but I just never could. Would you like to have them?”  


Renfield thought he might faint! To have a pictorial record of the house, however brief was a dream come true. “We would be grateful to have any records, pictures, or memorabilia you might have. We would cherish them.”  


“I think we should probably get Mary home now,” Rebecca said. “This has been such a wonderful visit, but as you might imagine she tires easily. Mr. Kowalski, if you would drive us back to the apartment, I could give you the suitcase.”  


“If you both would like to visit me, I also have a few small mementos from the house that I have no need of. I’d like to return them to the house, to give them to you.  


Ben helped Mary to stand and Kerri gave her a gentle hug. “We would love to come visit you soon! And you are welcome here any time you like – both of you. Thank you so much for coming to see us and telling us about your life.”  


“You need to thank Benton for that. He called me out of the blue to ask if I would like to visit with his friends who just moved into Berkeley House. I was very intrigued.”  


“Berkeley House?”  


Ben answered Renfield’s question, “I’ll tell you about that later.”  


The three men and Kerri helped the ladies down the steps and into the car and Ray and Ben drove them home.  


“Wow!” Kerri exclaimed as they walked back into the house. “What marvelous ladies! But what a sad story. Please Renny, let’s make this a happy house again!  


Renfield was walking in front of her but stopped in his tracks. He turned and took her into a tight hug. “As long as I live, I promise you that we will be happy here,” he whispered.

Chapter 13

Ray and Fraser escorted their new friends to their apartment door. Mary gave each man a peck on the cheek and thanked them for a most interesting afternoon.  


“If either one of you ever needs anything please let me know? Ray or Renfield or I will do whatever we can to help you.” As Rebecca left them to get the suitcase full of pictures she had promised them, Ben took Mary’s hand in his. “It’s been such a pleasure meeting you both.”  


Ray said, “same goes for me.”  


Rebecca returned with the suitcase as Mary walked into the apartment. “We haven’t looked at these in years,” she said as she handed it to Ben, “but they’re yours if you can use them. Keep the suitcase too, we really don’t have room for it. Ordinarily Mary doesn’t care to be reminded of the past. But I know she truly enjoyed our time this afternoon.”  


“I’m grateful for these, I’m hoping we can get some valuable information from them.”  


They walked back to Ray’s rental car each lost in their own thoughts. It had been an afternoon neither one of them would ever forget, heartwarming yet heartbreaking.  


“Ya know,” Ray finally said as he pulled the car into traffic, “that was a really good thing ya did, finding Mary. Kerri and Turnbull owe ya a lot.”  


“I did it for myself too, Ray. I was so anxious to find out about the gardens.”  


After a few moments Ray spoke again. “I’m really worried ‘bout Turnbull. Kerri said he was lookin’ pretty bad, but I didn’t have any idea just how bad he’d be.”  


“I agree and I think I owe Kerri an apology. His appearance was quite astonishing.”  


“Astonishing?”  


“Surprising.”  


“I know what it means. But Mary’s visit seemed to cheer him up. Ya think that’s all he needs, just ta be outta that place ‘n with friends?”  


“If Kerri has anything to say about it, yes! But I do agree, being with friends and focusing on the house will be therapeutic for him – for them both. I know you have said this a number of times, but Kerri has suffered right along with Turnbull, in different ways, of course, but suffered none the less.”  


“What in the hell is that?” Ray demanded as they pulled up to the house. “Looks like they’re sendin’ smoke signals!”  


Ben chuckled. “I think our friend Sergeant Turnbull has started the BBQ!”  


“He’s gonna set the house on fire at this rate!”  


Even at three stories tall they could see the smoke billowing from behind the house. Ray was surprised that no one had called the fire department!  


They hurried into the house and through to the back garden to find Renfield just covering the flames with the grill lid.  


“There,” he said, “no damage done.”  


“Ya tryin’ ta burn down the place?” Ray scowled at Turnbull.  


“I got a little carried away with the charcoal lighter fluid,” Kerri explained sheepishly.  


“I’ve told you not to use that stuff,” Renfield said in a gentle reprimand. He put his arm around her shoulders and whispered, “you can taste it on the food.”  


Ben smiled at them and then extended his hand to Renfield. With a huge smile he said, “we haven’t had the chance to properly welcome you home! It’s good to see you!” Ben shook his hand and patted him on the shoulder.  


Ray said, “likewise!”  


“It’s good to be home! Thank you so much for all you’ve done around here, helping Kerri. It means so much to me and bringing Mary and Rebecca to visit…Well I just don’t have the words to thank you properly.”  


Before Turnbull got too emotional Ray decided to change the subject. “Fraser got lucky tryin’ ta trace who mighta owned this place in the past. Can I help ya fix that floor by the front door?”  


“I’d welcome the help. The dining room looks spectacular by the way! How did you know to look behind the wall?”  


“It just didn’t seem right, for the period. Then we could tell by rapping on the wall that it wasn’t plaster.”  


Renfield became a little subdued and all three men realized at the same moment that Kerri had left them.  


“Where’d she go? It was sorta poof – ‘n she was gone.” Without a word Renfield went to find her.  


“That’s just spooky!”  


“Hmm? What?” Fraser asked as he stared after Turnbull  


“I said – that’s spooky! How he got all down ‘n depressed even before he knew she wasn’t there!”  


“Remarkable, his mood changed even before he realized she had left.” Ben muttered.  


“Like I said - spooky!” Ray exclaimed.  


“It seems the bond between them has gotten even deeper,” Ben muttered as he stared in the direction Turnbull had gone.  


“I still say it’s spooky.”  


Within a couple of minutes Renfield was back – all smiles and carrying a platter of steaks for the grill.  


“I think the flames have died down enough that the grill is ready for these beauties. Where did you get them?”  


“At Butcher Boys –”  


“You went all the way to Cabbagetown?”  


“Yep, best steaks in all a Toronto, or so my Mountie friend says.”  


“And you know Ben is always right.”  


“Remarkable,” Ray muttered under his breath.  


Renfield was confused but let Ray’s remark pass. He was often confused by Ray’s remarks.  


The asparagus was roasting, the water for Ray’s corn on the cob was set to boil on the stove and Kerri was trying her best to make a one-handed salad. So all that was left for the men to do was watch ‘the beauties’ on the grill.  


Kerri watched them for the kitchen window. They were chatting and smiling and in general enjoying one another’s company. That’s why she had snuck away – to allow them some guy time and enjoy their friendship. She had to smile at them. Three of the most unlikely friends in the world – all officers of the law and all, as far as she was concerned anyway, devastatingly handsome men. But that’s where their similarities ended.  


And yet they would come running whenever one of them needed help. Ray had done just that at one phone call from a doctor and Ben had come all the way from Yellowknife with just a text from Ray – ‘Turnbull needs help’.  


She was extremely proud to know such men.  


As always Renfield had timed their meal perfectly. Ray brought the steaks in and Kerri covered them with foil to rest on the counter. Once the lid was safely covering the hot coals Renfield came in to make the hollandaise.  


There really wasn’t any place to eat outside so the four friends enjoyed their welcome home celebration at the kitchen table. They toasted Renfield with sparkling apple cider and the best grilled steaks in town.  


“Eventually we will have a table and chairs on the porch or somewhere in the garden,” Kerri said.  


“My grandma, the one from Virginia, not Poland, called the back porch a veranda.” Ray offered.  


“Veranda sounds very elegant. Maybe we should refer to it as a veranda from now on,” Kerri asked Renfield.  


“Right now I’d just like it call it a place we can stand without fear of fall through!”  


“I’m anxious to look through the pictures that Mary gave me. Perhaps we’ll be able to tell what it looked like in the early days.”  


They had finished their meal, so Kerri suggested that Renfield cut his cake and they go into the parlor. “We can eat cake and look through the pictures.”  


“This is more like a birthday! White cake with white icing is my favorite. And Ray even had chocolate flowers put on it for you!” he cut a huge piece with those flowers for Kerri.  


They took their drinks and cake to the parlor and everyone had a seat – except Renfield. “I have something I need to say,” he began but then hesitated. “I know I’ve said thank you, but…” He looked at them, his friends and his wife and realized he didn’t need to say any more. They knew how he felt and saying it again, getting emotional, would only serve to embarrass everyone. So he simply said, “I just love white cake and icing,” with a huge grin.  


Renfield, Kerri, Ray and Ben settled in with their iced tea and cake and began to sort through Mary Moore’s old pictures.  


The suitcase that Mary had given Ben was really more of a small steamer trunk than what they would have called a suitcase. It had an oak banded frame with canvas stretched over it and leather at the corners with brass fittings. It closed with brass hinges and a large brass locking latch. The symbol LV was embossed repeatedly on the canvas. Originally the interior would have been lined with creamy satin and had a wooden divided tray that rested on runners. Now the interior tray was missing, and the satin was torn or worn through in several places.  


Kerri was in awe of the lovely old trunk. “Would Mary like to have this back? This is an original Louis Vuitton hard trunk! It’s very valuable.”  


“I think she just wanted rid of it. She said it was ours – yours if you want it.”  


Just as Renfield and Ben had caressed the fine birch woodwork in the dining room, and Ray had done the same with the tile in the entry hall, Kerri sat on the floor next to the trunk and tenderly ran her hands over the aged leather and tarnished brass.  


“Sumpthin tells me she wants it!”  


“Oh my, yes!” I know exactly how I’m going to use it in decorating the new dressing room!”  


“It’s contagious, all right,” Ray muttered sarcastically. “Ya gonna open it, or are ya just gonna just sit there ‘n start huggin’ it?”  


She opened the lid again and started handing out stacks of large envelopes and even loose pictures. There weren’t a lot of pictures, certainly not as many as some families had to represent over 100 years of their lives, but enough that they were hopeful they’d find something useful.  


They quickly realized the photos were going to have to be sorted into groups – one for travel, one for family, one for unidentifiable landmarks, and one for anything with the Grand Old Lady in them. Renfield found an envelope that must have been pictures from Clement and Mary Berkeley’s honeymoon. There were commercially produced pictures, much like today’s postcards of Lake Garda, the Arena in Verona and Venice harbor. And then professional photographs of the newly married Mr. and Mrs. Berkeley taken on a canal in Venice, and in front of the newly constructed tour Eiffel in Paris. And at the bottom of the stack he found a marriage certificate for Clement Berkeley and Mary Margaret Ratcliff.  


Renfield turned pale and gaped at the certificate. “Renfield, are you all right?” Ben asked.  


The concern in Ben’s voice immediately got the attention of Ray and Kerri. “Renny, you’re as white as a sheet! What is it?”  


“Kerri, what was your mother’s maiden name?”  


“Ratcliff. Why?”  


His hand shook as he showed her what he had found. “That’s what I thought. I’m sure it’s just a huge coincidence but look at Mary’s grandmother’s name!”  


Kerri looked at the old document. “Oh my goodness! Mary’s grandmother’s name was Mary Margaret Ratcliff. My mother’s name was Mary Ratcliff. I wonder if we’re related?”  


Ray uttered his new favorite word – “spooky!”  


“Have you ever done any genealogy research?” Ben asked.  


“Kerri sort of prefers to leave her family in the past,” Renfield explained.  


“Yeah, this is way past! And it’s spooky!”  


“I’ll have to mention this to Mary! She might be my long-lost cousin! How cool is that!”  


“It would be wonderful to think that this house it back in the hands of family,” Renfield mused.  


“Spooky.”  


“Ray is right,” Renfield agreed. “It’s sort of…well…spooky!”  


Kerri set the document aside reverently and they continued with their search. Finally, Ben said, “eureka!”  


“Whatcya got Fraze?”  


Ben held up an envelope with ‘house being built’ written on the front. “Gather round!” he ordered. “We need to look at these together.”  


From what they could tell from the faded writing on the back of the pictures the house construction started in May 1894 and was completed almost exactly one year later. “This must have been taken with one of the first Kodak cameras! The pictures are round!”  


Renfield didn’t think he’d ever seen Fraser so excited and it tickled him. It also made him profoundly happy – to see his friend so happy. They passed the photos between them, seeing the house in various stages of construction. There were eight large photos in all, and they cherished every one of them.  


“We need to have them framed and hang them in the entry hall! It’s wonderful!” Kerri exclaimed. “It’s too bad they’re not colorized; we could tell how the house was painted.”  


“It’s getting late, but I’d like to keep looking. Maybe we’ll find some of the garden.”  


“You ‘n your garden! Let’s keep lookin’.”  


It was late and everyone was tired, especially Renfield, who had had a very stressful couple of weeks. But what they were finding was so important, so energizing, they just couldn’t stop looking.  


At the very bottom of the trunk lay a small photo album that contained a few candid ‘snapshots’ of family. One was a picture of a young woman standing on the veranda holding a small baby. “I wonder if this is Mary and her mother?” Renfield asked as he looked through the album. “There’s no date, but Ben, look at this!” The photographer must have been standing in the kitchen doorway, aiming the camera toward the gardens. Over the shoulders of the woman a path could be seen that was in the exact center of the area and ran the entire length of the garden. There were plant beds on either side of the path and about halfway to the bottom of the garden, in a broad area centered in the pathway was what looked to be a fountain!  


“Do you have a magnifying glass?!” Ben asked excitedly.  


Kerri and Renfield looked at each other. “I know we do, but I have no idea where it would be,” Kerri said. “We can search for it tomorrow.”  


“This is just the sort of thing I hoped we’d find! Are there anymore?”  


Renfield was already flipping through the pages. “Here’s another of a young child sitting at a small wicker table. It looks like she’s having a tea party. You can see quite a bit of one corner of the garden.” He handed the album to Ben.  


“This is very helpful! If these plants still exist, we can try to very carefully uncover them. If not, we can try to find a nursery that can help us identify them. I’ve been doing a lot of research and Victorian’s loved plants like roses, hollyhocks and dianthus. Lots of colorful flowers.”  


Ray was just shaking his head. “Fraze yer nuts! A plant’s a plant. Put some green stuff out there ‘n call it done.”  


Ben did not immediately realize that Ray was teasing him and was about to argue. Then he saw Ray grin. “Very funny,” Ben muttered.  


The album held many other pictures, but none that revealed any more information about the gardens. Ben was extremely disappointed but tried his best not to show it.  


Kerri was still sitting on the floor when they finally came to the bottom of the suitcase. “That’s it I’m afraid. I wish there been…” As she ran her hand over the inside of the now empty suitcase, she could feel the satin covered bottom was uneven. The stitching was frayed at one corner, so she gingerly picked at it and it slowly unraveled. After a short time the corner of a photograph was revealed.  


“Oh! Look!” she exclaimed to no one in particular. “There’s more hidden at the bottom!”  


The other three were on their feet instantly to see what she had uncovered. Kerri continued to pick at the stitching until one end was completely free and then started down the long side. Soon she had pulled back enough of the fabric to be able to remove most of the contents.  


She carefully pulled out a handful of snapshots and handed them to Renfield. These were apparently pictures of Mary’s mother as a young girl. On one of the photographs was written ‘Mary – 1911’. In the background there was an automobile with a liveried chauffeur standing next to it.  


“Didn’t Mary say that her father was the family chauffeur? Could this be Mary’s father?” Renfield asked.  


“He woulda been awful young.”  


“But when cars were first available to the wealthy it was the young men who became chauffeurs. The older men, who had been grooms or blacksmiths couldn’t or didn’t want to drive them,” Fraser explained.  


While the guys were talking Kerri had continued to search through her find. “Look!” she exclaimed. She held up a professional portrait – of Mary Berkeley and Aodhan Moore. She knew Mary’s father’s name because also hidden in the lining of the suitcase was the original marriage certificate.  


“Mary’s father’s name was Aodhan. I think that’s pronounced like Aidan. They were married in 1920. I wonder how long they were married? And when he was forced to leave,” Kerri mused, more to herself than to the others.  


“Didn’t Mary say she didn’t know what her father looked like?” Ray asked. “I wonder if she’d like ta see this stuff.”  


“I’ll give Rebecca a call tomorrow,” Ben said. “Mary is a very old woman and we wouldn’t want to upset her. Then again, she may like to know about this information. Plus –”  


Renfield placed two fingers over his lips as he grabbed Ben’s sleeve. His shushed him quietly and pointed to the sofa.  


After finding the secret stash of pictures Kerri had gotten up from the floor and curled up on the sofa to look at the remainder of them. She was currently sound asleep with the pictures still on her lap.  


Ben motioned to Ray and they quietly left the room.  


“I guess she was worn out,” Ray whispered. “Been a long coupla weeks for her. I think I’ll hit the sack too.”  


“Likewise.”  


Ray and Ben went to their rooms, leaving Renfield alone with his wife.  


He knelt next to her and for a few moments just watched her sleep. She was beautiful at all times, but never more so than when she slept. He’d always thought she looked like an angel when she was asleep, her long blonde hair spilling around her head like a halo.  


But right now, she looked decidedly uncomfortable. He took Mary’s family pictures from her and then brushed her hair off her face. “Kerri,” he whispered. “You need to wake up so we can go to bed. Kerri?” he called to her a little more loudly. “Wake up, Sweetheart, you’re going to get a crick in your neck sleeping in this position.”  


When she didn’t even move, he chuckled. “I’d carry you, but I don’t think I’d make it all the way up those stairs.” This time he gently shook her shoulder. “Kerri, wake up.”  


“Hmm?” She opened her eyes and stared blankly for a moment, and then she smiled. “Renny,” she muttered. “I fell asleep.”  


He chuckled again. She looked adorable. How was it possible for one man to love one woman so much! “Yes you did.”  


“Where are Ben and Ray?” she yawned.  


“They’ve already gone up.”  


“Fine hostess I am,” she muttered as he helped her up. “Fall asleep – how rude!”  


Renfield put his arm around her shoulders as they walked up the stairs. “There is no way anyone would ever think you were rude. They know, as do I that you are worn out. These days have been hard on you, too!”  


“But today was so exciting! Meeting Mary and Rebecca, finding some information about our house and most important of all – maybe finding a picture of Mary’s father! Renny – that is so exciting.”  


At the top of the stairs he stopped to pull her into a tender embrace. “How about if we make a little excitement all our own?” he whispered in her ear as he led her into their bedroom.

Chapter 14

Renfield awoke early the next morning. Being home, in bed with his wife made him incredibly happy. He turned to her and nuzzled against her neck, feeling warm and loved and, upon further consideration, safe. He smiled as she cuddled into him, still sound asleep. Rather than wake her with gentle caresses he reluctantly decided to let her sleep and slipped silently out of bed.  


He grabbed his jeans and a sweatshirt and dressed in the bathroom, then quietly closed the door behind him as he went downstairs. Thinking he would make coffee before the rest of them woke up, he realized he was too late as the aroma of fresh coffee greeted him.  


Coffee was ready and the kettle was set to boil for tea, but the kitchen was empty. Just as he was about to head toward the parlor, he caught movement through the large kitchen window. He saw Ben moving around the garden and went to join him.  


“Good morning!” Renfield called as he stepped outside.  


“Good morning,” Fraser responded. “It’s a beautiful morning.”  


“I’ll be glad when the garden is ready for us to enjoy the sunshine out here.”  


“I’ve just been looking at that. There’s got to be some sort of water source here somewhere, because if you’re really quiet you can hear a frog or two.”  


“Kerri said you thought there might be a summer house out here somewhere?”  


“Yes. See that large mound way out there at the back? I’ll bet that’s covering something interesting. Or at least it once was something interesting. No telling what’s left at this point.”  


They wandered around with their coffee, searching for any indication of landscaping of the past. “I haven’t spent much time out here, there’s been too much to occupy my mind with the house.”  


“Actually, I’ve been thinking about that. Would you like some help with the renovations?”  


“I’d welcome it! But when are you scheduled back in Chicago?”  


“Actually,” Ben answered slowly, “I’m not.”  


“Pardon?” Renfield asked, not sure he had heard that correctly.  


“I’m not planning on going back to Chicago,” Ben said flatly.  


“What are your plans?” was the only thing Renfield could think to say.  


“I considered Aklavik, but my trip to Yellowknife proved to be disappointing. I’m sort of persona non grata up there.”  


“But why do you want to leave Chicago? I know that you and Inspector Thatcher have had your issues, but it was my understanding that she is being reassigned to Ottawa.”  


“The Consulate is being turned back over to the civilian diplomatic corp. RCMP Protective Policing is moving in.”  


Renfield was stunned. He hadn’t heard a thing about this and was sure Kerri hadn’t either. “They haven’t reassigned you to a new posting? I can’t believe they’d just leave you hanging!”  


“Oh, I was offered a position with Protective Policing or a transfer – to Ottawa.”  


“Ah,” Renfield said, “that probably wouldn’t be the best idea. You and the Inspector are definitely through?”  


“Oh yes. Looking back on if now I don’t know if we were ever truly connected as a couple. Certainly never as you and Kerri are.”  


“We’re probably not the best example to use for comparison. Everyone tells us what she and I have is exceedingly rare. Even Doctor Fairchild said he can’t explain it.” Renfield chuckled, “I’m just grateful to God that He brought us together and always has a way to keep us there.”  


“So to answer your question, I don’t have any plans, at the moment. I doubt I’d be happy in Protective Policing, and I’m certainly not interested in going to Ottawa. That’s why I’m wondering if you’d like some help with the renovations, many in trade for room and board for a while. You might want to check with Kerri before –”  


“Check with me about what?” Kerri asked as she walked down the steps of the newly christened veranda.  


Renfield smiled and went to greet his wife. Since they weren’t alone, he hugged her more perfunctorily than he would have liked. “Good morning!”  


“Good morning. What a gorgeous day! I can’t wait until the gardens are ready so that we can enjoy mornings like this out here.” She turned her face up to the sun and basked in its warmth.  


Ben chuckled as he thought they were just like two sides of the same coin, not only completing each other’s sentences but also mimicking their thoughts. “Your husband said exactly the same thing about ten minutes ago.”  


“What did you want Renfield to check with me about?”  


“How about I make us some breakfast and we can talk? Do you know if Ray is up yet?”  


“I passed him in the hall. He asked if he could use our shower. So yes, I’m sure if we want to start breakfast, he’ll be ready.”  


“I took a loaf of challah out of the freezer last night, so how about pain doré?”  


“What’s that?” Ray asked from the veranda.  


“Good morning Ray,” Renfield called from the garden. “Pain doré is the Canadian version of French toast. And before you say it – we’re in Canada now and that’s what we call it,” he teased.  


“Good mornin’ ta you too!” Whatever ya call it if you fix it, I’m eatin’ it, he thought.  


Renfield and Kerri bustled around the kitchen preparing their meal. Kerri had learned from the first that she would always be the sous chef, and that was fine with her. Renfield was happiest in the kitchen, and when he was happy, so was she.  


Ray and Fraser sat at the kitchen table and watched them. “Looks like they’re doin’ some kinda dance,” Ray whispered.  


“They do seem to have a sort of rhythm, don’t they?” In most everything they do, Fraser thought.  


“How much of this should I slice?” Kerri asked.  


“All of it, I think.”  


“About this thick?” she asked, holding up the first slice.  


“A little thicker.”  


Kerri sliced the challah and Renfield whipped up the custard. In no time at all the bread was soaking. Then Renfield searched the refrigerator for bacon. “Do we have bacon?” he muttered to the interior of the frig.  


“OH! Benton got some peameal bacon at the butcher’s.”  


“C’est manifique!”  


“He always speak French when he’s cookin’?” Ray teased.  


“Only when he’s happy! And in the kitchen, that’s just about all the time.”  


Very soon breakfast was on the table and everyone was quiet for a few minutes, just enjoying their meal.  


But “yum,” Ray said – about five times.  


“So, now,” Kerri finally said, “what did you think Renfield should check with me about?”  


“Well…”  


“He’d like to help with the renovations both the house and the gardens.”  


“That would be wonderful! Why –”  


“He’d like to stay with us for a while –”  


“Ya’ve decided then. I didn’t –”  


“Yes. It really wasn’t –”  


“But something will –”  


“I’m not so sure, if –"  


Kerri felt like she was watching a ping pong match. All three were talking, not finishing any thought before being interrupted by the other and she had no idea what any of them was talking about.  


“Wait!” she demanded. “Could someone finish one sentence at a time, PLEASE!”  


“Benton would like to stay here for a while.”  


“I’m not planning on going back to Chicago.”  


“Because of Meg?” Kerri whispered. “She’s not going to be there. She –”  


“The Consulate is being turned back over to the civilian diplomatic corp. RCMP Protective Policing will be moving in with them. So I am out.”  


“I had heard that the diplomatic corp. was moving back in, but I didn’t realize that you would lose your job. I’m so sorry!”  


“You knew? You never said.”  


“Renny you were sort of busy with other things. And I didn’t think it was such a big deal.” She turned back to Ben. “Will you be posted here in Toronto then?”  


“I’m not sure what I’m going to do. Hence my request to help with the house. If I could stay here for a short time while I figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life, I would welcome the opportunity to help with the renovations.”  


“You’re not thinking of leaving the Force?! What would they do without you! You are too good…” Kerri was near tears when she realized all three men were staring at her. She was suddenly extremely embarrassed. “Sorry,” she muttered.  


“Thank you for the compliment but I’m afraid the Force may be leaving me, rather than the other way round.”  


“As far as I’m concerned,” she said as she regrouped, “you, and Ray too, are welcome here for as long as you want. Longer, even.” She grew very serious. “You know though there is one thing…”  


“What is it?” Renfield asked, suddenly apprehensive.  


“If we’re going to have permanent house guests, we’re are going to have to get that shower in the guest bath fixed!”  


Kerri stood and began gather their empty plates. “Nuh-uh! You guys cook, we clean. That’s the deal.”  


So she and Renfield sat at the table and watched them clean up. “It’s rather like having a butler and a maid,” Renfield mused.  


“I’ll take a butler who looks like that any day!”  


Renfield chuckled, “which one?”  


“Either one, I don’t care,” she giggled.  


“Hey, where’s this go?” Ray asked, holding up the skillet.  


Kerri went to show him and Renfield went back out to the veranda. Sensing that Ray and Kerri had something to talk about Ben followed Renfield toward the garden.  


“Ya know I can’t stay, right?” Ray said once the other two were out of earshot.  


“I know,” she said sadly. “And I know that I’m at least a part of the reason. I just wanted you to know that you are welcome here. You’re always welcome here.”  


“I know that. And ya need ta know that if ya ever need me I’ll come runnin’.”  


“How much longer will you be able to stay?”  


“Welsh didn’t give me a date, but at least long enough ta fix that tile by the front door.”  


“And it’s not too far to come visit. You can come see us all the time!”  


Everyone who knew Kerri well knew that she tried to compensate for lack of family by surrounding herself with as many friends as she could, and Ray knew her very well. “Yeah…” he hesitated.  


“Am I pushing? I mean if you don’t want to come visit us, I completely understand. I know sometimes I forget –”  


“Yer not pushing me, it’s just it’ll get a little expensive flyin’ up here every weekend.”  


Kerri wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. “How about every other weekend? Or once a month?” she grinned.  


Ray wanted nothing more than for Kerri and Renfield to be happy. Once he had hoped Kerri would be happy with him, but he’d known for a while now that that was a pipe dream. So if visiting them as often as possible would make her happy that’s what he’d do.  


When Kerri walked out onto the veranda Renfield was just completing a phone call.  


“Plumber’s going to start the first of the week. He has to check on that roll top bath we’re having refurbished, but he’s already got the pedestal sink and cabinetry. And he’s got everything he needs for the half bath down here. He’s still trying to match the hexagonal tile to repair the floor in both upstairs baths, but the flooring guys won’t start for a couple of weeks anyway. And,” he took a breath, “George says he can start the roof -- TOMORROW!”  


“How the hell are they gonna do that? With the towers ‘n turrets, covered veranda ‘n all those really steep angles.”  


“Sky hooks, Ray,” Ben answered.  


“Funny!”  


“Scaffolding, lots and lots of scaffolding!”  


“That’s sure not a job I’d like doin’.”  


“I’m not going to watch. I think it will be too scary.”  


“It definitely takes specialized equipment and a lot of skill,” Ben said. “Are you going to put slate back on?”  


“Yikes!” Kerry said. “No, it’s far too expensive. There’s a product made right here in Ontario that’s called rubber slate and it’s much lighter and much less expensive.”  


“And the Historical Preservation Society approves it.” Renfield added.  


“But still lots a dinero for a roof that big!”  


“You’ve got that right! But we got a firm estimate and I’ve budgeted for it. Anyway, it has to be done. And once it is done, I can have my dressing room!” Kerri felt like dancing with delight.  


“Only once we get the floor fixed! I’m won’t have you falling through the floor – especially in any state of undress,” Renfield snickered and Kerry blushed.  


“Ben, I haven’t hired anyone to clear the jungle out here, would you like to take charge of that?”  


Ben’s eyes lit up. “I’d love it, but I’ll have to check with the finance manager,” he said, looking at Kerri.  


“I’ll give you a budget,” she laughed.  


“I got a budget for fixin’ the tile in the entry?”  


“We’ve already found the tile, so just labor, I guess.”  


“Ya make me as much of that pain stuff as I can eat ‘n we’ve got a deal.”  


“Pain doré. But you can call it French toast and I’ll know what you mean. And you’ve got a deal! Kerri, remind me to put challah on our grocery list – about a dozen loaves!”  


When Ray went into the house to begin working on the entry hall tile, and Ben and Renfield went to look for the fountain they had seen in Mary’s pictures. Kerri went to make a few phone calls. The first she made was to Tom Rigby. She’d kept him up to date on Renfield’s progress via text messages, but she had yet to tell him that Renfield had been released from the hospital.  


“Hi Susan,” she said when their admin assistant answered the phone. “Is Tom in?”  


“Yes, but first, how are you and Renfield doing? All Tom said was that Renfield was in the hospital and you had a broken arm. I assumed that you were in some kind of an accident. Are you both okay?”  


Kerri really did not want the rest of her office to know the specifics of all that had happened, so she just let Susan think there’d been an accident.  


“We’re doing fine. My arm is in a cast but Renfield is home from the hospital. So things are getting back to normal – thanks for asking.”  


“I’ll put you through to Tom.”  


“Hi! How are you?” Tom said when he answered the phone.  


“We’re doing okay. Renfield came home from the hospital yesterday. He’s going to have to have a lot more therapy, but the doctor has assured us that it’s safe for him to be here.”  


“I am so sorry about all of this. We had no idea that he was still suffering.”  


“As I told you he has a whopping case of PTSD. He really didn’t know about it until we started sleeping together again. When he was alone it didn’t manifest itself. The CPAP is working wonders, as is the therapy.”  


“I want you to know that the RCMP will give him as much time as he needs to recuperate – as well we should since his undercover assignment instigated all of this. You can also take whatever time you need to help him through this. That’s in addition to the time you need for your arm to heal.”  


“Thanks!” she said. “I think, hope, that we will get back to normal – whatever that is – pretty quickly.”  


“In the meantime, what do you need? That house has got to be a big burden right now.”  


“I’m not able to do much of anything but having the renovations to concentrate on is really helping Renfield. We have a couple of friends visiting and they’re helping for a while.”  


“How are the renovations going?  


“We’re just getting started – we sort of got delayed,” she admitted. “The roofers start tomorrow and we’re looking for a company to start clearing the jungle in the back garden.”  


“You know,” he started to think out loud, “my son and some of his friends are looking for a service project for school. I’ll check and see if your garden would qualify. Since you’re incapacitated and Renfield has Force related PTSD they might just be able to help you. For course credit, no cost to you.”  


“Tom, I’m going to speak for both of us, we would be thrilled! It’s mostly heavy, hot, dirty work.”  


“Just the thing these kids need!”  


“Can I ask you about something else?”  


“Not house related?”  


“No, more RCMP related. Our friend, who is staying with us just lost his posting at the Consulate in Chicago. He’s been offered either a transfer to Ottawa or reassignment to Protective Policing. He’s not really interested in either of those. He went up to Yellowknife to find out about a posting in a village under their jurisdiction, but they apparently don’t want him.”  


“What’s his name?”  


“Constable Ben Fraser.”  


“Robert Fraser’s son?”  


“You know him?” Kerri was surprised.  


“Only by reputation. He went on the trail of his father’s killers and it turned out to be a member of the Force. He didn’t make many friends in the North in the process.”  


“He’s feeling pretty down about the RCMP in general right now. He’s not sure what he’s going to do, but I know him, Tom, and his loss would be tragic for the Force. He’s always been Renfield’s role model, a real Mountie’s Mountie.”  


Tom thought about it for a minute. “Let me do a little research and see if there might be something I can do.”  


“One thing though – he absolutely cannot know I had anything to do with whatever you find out. He is a very proud man and that would not go over well, I afraid.”  


“You got it. Take care of yourself and Turnbull. I’ll be in touch about the kids. I need to run this idea by the school.”  


“I’m so glad I called! Thanks, Tom, you’re a pal.”  


Kerri ended her call greatly encouraged about life in general. Now she just needed to decide whether or not to tell Renfield about the second part of her call. She wasn’t at all sure that Renfield would like the fact that she interfered in Benton’s business.  


She walked out to the veranda to see Ben crawling through the undergrowth. “You looking for something? Did you lose Renfield!” she teased.  


“No! I’m over here!”  


She could hear him, but she sure couldn’t see him. “Renny! There’s a talking plant out here that sounds just like you!”  


“That would be the infamous Turnbull fern.” Ben joked.  


“A very attractive plant, but it doesn’t look a thing like me,” Renfield announced as he stood up, brushing the dirt off his jeans.  


“I’ve got something I need to tell you. Could you both come here so I don’t have to shout?” As they came closer, she began, “I just talked to Tom. First of all he said that you, and me to a lesser extent, could take off as much time as you need to heal. He said, in not so many words, that the RCMP will assume responsibility for your condition. And second, he thinks he might have an idea about getting all of this jungle cleared. His son and a few of his friends are looking for a community service project –”  


“We’re not a service project –”  


“He thinks that because I’m incapacitated, and you have Force related PTSD –”  


“I’m not sure I like the idea of accepting charity –”  


“You can’t think of it in that way.” Ben said, “You need help with this, and they need a project. If the school approves then it’s a win-win for everyone.”  


“Okay,” Renfield agreed, but not wholeheartedly. “Let’s wait for the school to decide.”  


“Also, since you’re busy,” she said to Ben, “could I call Rebecca for you? I’d like to speak to her again anyway. I’d like to find out if she thinks it would be okay for me to talk to Mary about the Ratcliff family.”  


“Of course! Ask her if we could come visit.”  


“What in the world are you guys looking for?”  


“We don’t know but we will when we find it.” Which of course made perfect sense, to Renfield.  


Kerri went back into the house and placed a call to Rebecca.  


“Hello, Rebecca this is Kerri Turnbull. How are you both today?”  


“We are very well. Mary slept much later than usual this morning, but I think that’s because of yesterday’s excitement. We both certainly enjoyed your company.”  


“As did we. We really enjoyed the pictures too. Actually that’s while I’m calling. We’d like to come visit, if you think that would be okay. Actually we’ve found some very interesting things in the suitcase.”  


“Such as?”  


“Well, we think we might have found a picture of Mary’s father.”  


“Oh, my!”  


“Do you think it would be too upsetting for her to see it?”  


“I’m not sure. She’s never really spoken about her past.”  


“Well, then there’s something else. We found the marriage certificate of Mary’s grandfather and grandmother. It seems that Mary’s grandmother, also a Mary, was named Mary Ratcliff. The rather astounding thing is my mother’s maiden name was also Mary Ratcliff. I’m sure it’s just an amazing coincidence, but Mary and I might be distant cousins.”  


“This really is astounding. I’m not sure how much of this Mary is up for. Let me think about it for a few days and maybe approach her with these things a little at a time. Would that be acceptable?”  


“Of course! We would be devastated if we were to upset her in any way.”  


“I’ll call you back in a few days. In the meantime, if you could do a little research on your family maybe you can determine if you two might indeed be related. That would be so wonderful. Mary has mentioned more than once that she feels alone in the world, not having any relatives.”  


“I don’t have much in the way of family either, so this would be wonderful for me too.”  


“I’ll call you in a few days,” Rebecca said. “Goodbye.”  


Up until this point Kerri hadn’t considered how having a cousin, distant as she might be, might affect her. She thought it might be nice for Mary, but for her? Right now she found the possibility thrilling.  


“You got any more calls you want me to make?” she shouted at the jungle. She was sure they were out there, but she sure couldn’t see them.  


“Not right now,” the Turnbull fern shouted back.  


“You two need two-way radios!” she shouted again, wondering where she could buy a megaphone.  


Since Renfield and Ben didn’t seem to want to talk to her she decided to go into the parlor and look at the few remaining pictures that she hadn’t seen.  


“Hey, watch where yer walkin’!” Ray yelled at her as she was about to step on freshly laid tiles.  


“Sorry! You should rope this off or something!”  


“Yer kind of a grump!”  


“You yelled at me!”  


“Cause ya were ‘bout ta walk on my handiwork.”  


“Sorry,” she said as she turned to go.  


“Hey! What’s up? Yer a little grumpy. That’s not like you.”  


“I just need someone to talk to, I guess.”  


“We’re all kinda busy."  


“I know, it’s my problem, not yours. I’m going to go look at the last of Mary’s pictures. I fell asleep before I finished looking at them. This looks really good, by the way,” she said, pointing at the mosaic that was really taking shape.  


“Thanks,” he muttered as he stared at her back retreating into the parlor. He wondered what was going on with her and then immediately forgot about it as the tile caught his attention once again.  


Kerri made herself comfortable on the sofa and piled the pictures next to her. She wondered, not for the first time in the last few days, what was wrong with her. Ray was right she was having a serious case of the grumps. She thought she was probably just feeling sorry for herself. Although she had no idea why. Everything was working out so well. Renny was doing much better, her arm was healing, she had fallen in love with their house and their best friends were here to help them. So what the heck was her problem? She pushed the depressing thoughts aside and began sorting through the pictures.

Chapter 15

“Kerri?” Renfield called her name and shook her shoulder. “Kerri, wake up!”  


She awoke to find three sets of worried eyes staring at her. “I fell asleep again?! I’m sorry.”  


“Are you all right? Ray said you were acting oddly and went to talk to you, but you had fallen asleep. And then I couldn’t wake you up. You were beginning to scare me!”  


“I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me! I’m grouchy and tired and –”  


Ben sat on the sofa next to her. “I think if you take a moment to consider it, it’s fairly obvious. You’re coming down from a significant adrenaline rush. For the last few weeks you’ve been operating on ibuprofen and adrenaline, little food, and even less relaxing sleep. Everyone, including me has told you to suck it up and deal with it. And you haven’t had your one stalwart companion to lean on. You’ve done your best but now you’re crashing.”  


“I don’t think –”  


“You can only be strong for so long before you collapse. I’m the perfect example of that!” Renfield admitted. “Why don’t I make you some soup and then if you’d like you can go up and sleep some more,” he pleaded with her. “Better yet let’s get you upstairs and I’ll bring you the soup up there.”  


She could tell she was going to lose any argument she raised so she reluctantly agreed.  


Once he got her upstairs Renfield made her comfortable and ran back down.  


But by the time he had put together an easy chicken noodle soup and hurried it upstairs she was asleep again. This was really beginning to remind him of their time in Edmonton. He hoped that was not the case and he dearly hoped he was not the cause of whatever was wrong.  


He left the soup, some iced tea and crackers next to their bed and went back downstairs, praying that sleep was what she needed.  


“Ya know,” Ray said, meeting him at the bottom of the stairs, “maybe ya outta call her doc ‘n make her an appointment. Fraze is probably right, but it can’t hurt ta have her talk ta her doc.”  


“That’s a very good idea. Thank you, Ray.” Renfield went in search of Kerry’s phone and called Dr. Giroux.  


“It’s Renfield Turnbull. I’d like to speak to the doctor regarding my wife. Could I leave a message for him to call me?”  


“Actually, Mr. Turnbull, the doctor has just finished with his last patient of the day. I’ll see if he can speak to you now.”  


He listened to some rather annoying computer generated hold music for a few minutes before the doctor’s assistant came back on the line. “Dr. Giroux is available to speak to you.”  


“Sergeant Turnbull, what can I do for you?”  


“Doctor I am worried about Kerri. I came home from the hospital yesterday and she has been feeling out of sorts and snappish, she says grumpy, and she’s been sleeping quite a lot. I’m hoping it’s nothing more than relief that I’m getting better, but I wanted to get your input.”  


“First of all let me say that I am glad to hear you are on the road to recovery for your sake and for hers. She has been extremely worried about you. Has she had any panic attacks since you’ve been home?”  


“Thank you and no, Sir, no panic attacks.”  


“And she’s taking her medication as prescribed?”  


“Absolutely, she’s extremely careful about that. Especially after what happened in Edmonton.”  


“And why are you calling me, rather than her?”  


“She’s sleeping and knowing her I’m afraid she’s going to try to shrug this off.”  


“Smart man, but she has told me that you are a smart man.” He thought about it for a moment and then said, “have her call me tomorrow. If I haven’t heard from her by end of business, I will call her. I’d like for it to be her decision, but we’re not going to let this pass. It may very well be just relief from the stress of the last several days, but I want to see that for myself.”  


“I’m very glad I called. Thank you.” Renfield ended the call and went back out to the garden.  


Ben was kneeling in the jungle but saw him coming. He stood and frowned at Renfield who was frowning at nothing in particular. “Is everything okay?” Ben asked.  


“I am such a mess and I’m taking her right down with me!” he snapped with self-disgust.  


“I hope you don’t really feel that way! Kerri loves you and rather than you taking her down, she is doing her best to build you up. The really dangerous thing here is for both of you to be down at the same time! I think that might cause an earthquake, or some other kind of natural disaster.”  


Renfield was taken aback by Ben sounding so much like Ray. He chuckled briefly. “I know you’re right. She’s been so strong for me, now it’s my turn.” Ben could literally see the wheels turning, Turnbull had an idea.  


“There’s chicken in the frig for dinner, can you and Ray fend for yourselves?”  


“Of course,” Ben said staring at Renfield. “You’re planning something – I’ve seen that look far too many times."  


“What? A man can’t take his wife out for a romantic dinner?” He asked with a face that Ben hadn’t seen for a few years – vacuous but with a twinkle in his eye.  


“Sometimes you amaze me, my friend. Strike that, you always amaze me.”  


Kerri was awakened by loud muttering coming from somewhere in their room. Once she was awake enough to focus, she realized the muttering was coming from inside their closet. “Blast! Where is it! Where the heck did she put it?”  


“Renny?” Kerri called to him. When she realized he didn’t hear her she repeated herself more loudly. “Renny?!”  


He climbed over a few shoe boxes and poked his head out from between hangers of clothing. “Sorry,” he muttered. “Where’s my uniform?”  


“All the way in the back – no, the other side! What do you need your uniform for?”  


He continued to stumble over boxes of assorted shoes until he got to the other end of the closet. Then he stumbled some more trying to extricate himself and his red serge from the jumble. “I can’t wait until we get more closet space! No, make that I can’t wait until YOU get more closet space – mostly for shoes! Men and women all have two feet! Why do women always need 25 times more shoes?”  


Kerri grinned at her disheveled husband. Even with his hair as short as it was it was still a mess from climbing through the narrow closet. “I asked you why you need your uniform?”  


He came over to the bed and tossed the garment bag down and then plunked down next to her. “Because I am going to take my favorite girl out to a very nice restaurant!”  


“Can I come too?” She tried to pout but didn’t quite succeed, it turned into more of a half-smile.  


“Let me ask her!” He kissed her on the forehead. “Can Kerri come too?”  


“Only if she promises to not bring anyone but you!”  


“Deal,” he grinned. “Now get up and put on that slinky black dress I love so much –”  


“But I don’t have the right shoes.” He was about to make a rude comment but then realized she was teasing. “Seems to me you love it – taking me out of it.”  


“And you don’t wear it nearly often enough!”  


“Where are we going?”  


“Canoe.”  


She squealed with excitement. “I’ve always wanted to go there!”  


“Hence the reason I made reservations!”  


“If you’re just doing this to cheer me up –”  


“I am doing this because I want to take my favorite girl to a fancy restaurant – and you can come too.”  


“You!” and she hit him with her pillow.  


“But you love me!” he grinned.  


“Especially when you take me somewhere where I don’t have to eat your cooking!”  


“Ouch! Touché.”  


She jumped up and threw her arms around him, afraid her teasing might have gone just a little too far. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean –”  


He grabbed her and hoisted her over his shoulder. “Insult my cooking will you! I am going to make you pay, me lusty wench.”  


Kerri laughed out loud, harder than she had in a very long time. It had also been a long time since Renny had pulled out his pirate routine. Which was a very good thing, she thought, he made a lousy pirate.  


“If you don’t stop with the Pete the Pirate, we’re going to have to miss our dinner,” she giggled as he tickled her. “Not to mention the fact that they can probably hear us downstairs!”  


“Oh, all right. But don’t think I’m going to forget you insulted my cooking. Payback’s a –”  


“Renny!”  


“Well it is!”  


They dressed quickly so as to not be late for their reservations, but almost didn’t make it out of the bedroom when Renfield saw her in that dress. It was by far the sexiest thing she owned but since Kerri never liked calling attention to herself, she rarely wore it.  


“Maybe we should just stay in?” Renfield breathed. “You look good enough to eat.”  


“I feel rather exposed when I wear this.”  


“Oh my yes, and what lovely exposure!”  


“Should I change?”  


“Kerri, if wearing that dress makes you uncomfortable then yes. Please believe me when I say I am proud to have you on my arm no matter what you wear. I just love to see you like this every once in a while.”  


In the end Kerri decided to wear the dress. She put a lace shawl over her shoulders, and her cleavage, but she wore it none the less.  


While Canoe was not located in the tallest building in Toronto, it was certainly in one of them. And being so high in the sky gave the restaurant the finest city views in all of Canada. It had taken some finagling and sweet talking and an unfashionably early reservation, but Renfield was able to get them a table by a window.  


“Sometime we will have to make a reservation for after dark. The nighttime views of the city must be gorgeous,” he said after their hostess left.  


“Oh, but this is perfect! The Tower and the lake and the city. And, if we linger long enough maybe we can see the sunset. I just love it!” she gushed, but then turned serious, “there’s just one thing…”  


“What? I want this to be perfect for you, what –”  


“When’s your favorite girl going to get here?”  


Renfield wanted to cry for the love of her. “I have a surprise for you my dear. You are my favorite girl! You have been since the first time I laid eyes on you,” he whispered. “There is no one or nothing I will ever love as much as I love you.”  


The intensity of his emotion brought tears to her eyes. “Not even our Grand Old Lady?” she sniffed.  


He took her hand and looked into her moist eyes. “If I live to be 100 years old, I will never love anything as much as I love you.”  


“If you make me cry it’s going to ruin my makeup!”  


Their waiter came to take their order and Renfield watched as she repositioned her shawl to better cover herself. “I’ll have the scallops,” she said, “with the Northwoods sautéed mushrooms. And could we please have sparkling water,” she added, before he asked Renfield what wine they would have.  


Renfield ordered the blueberry rubbed loin of elk. He was anxious to taste it of course, but as he did with many restaurant entrees, he wanted to see if it might be something he could recreate at home.  


After their waiter left Kerri smiled at him. “Are you going to analyze your meal again?”  


“Analyze?”  


“To see if you could make it at home.”  


“Of course. Where do you think I get many of my recipe ideas? I steal them from other chefs.”  


“I don’t think steal is the right word. Copy, maybe. But imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, or so I’ve heard.”  


As another couple was seated at the table next to them Renfield watched her adjust her shawl once again. This was beginning to bother him.  


“You didn’t hear me, did you?”  


“I’m sorry, no. What did you say?”  


“I said, you should really try some of this bread, it’s divine.”  


Renfield chuckled. “Divine? I don’t think I’ve ever heard you use the word divine to describe bread before!”  


“Just trying to live up to the elegant atmosphere in here.”  


“Kerri, you are the most elegant thing in here. And you don’t even have to work at it.”  


“Remember the makeup!”  


“We have to remember to design in a space for a makeup table in the bathroom,” he mused.  


“I don’t know if I really need that, I don’t wear much makeup as a rule –”  


“I want this house to be just as comfortable for you as for me. I’ve got so many ideas of things I’d like to see, but you haven’t said too much about the little extras you would like to have.”  


“More closet space!”  


After today that was as much for him as for her. “That’s for both of us! Why don’t you draw up a plan of how you want the dressing room to be laid out? I’ll bet you can go online and get all kinds of ideas for shoe storage and built in cabinets and taller hanging space for dresses and –”  


“Renfield Turnbull – when is the last time you ever saw me wear a dress? Except for this one, of course, and it’s so short I could practically hang it with blouses.”  


As the restaurant began to fill with diners, Renfield noticed Kerri adjust her shawl several times and it finally dawned on him why. Without conscious thought she was trying to cover herself.  


He was about to comment when their meals arrived. “This looks wonderful,” he said. “Thank you.”  


“Thank you,” Kerri also said to the waiter. “These scallops look fabulous! And taste as good as they look,” she said after the first bite.  


She looked at her husband and chuckled. He was tasting just a small sample of the blueberry sauce and she could see the analytical process beginning. She wished, not for the first time, that she had the palate of a chef, like her Renny.  


“It doesn’t seem complex, spices and blueberries, onions, a little thyme and Marsala, I think.” His eyes lit up, “I think I can do this”  


“I never doubted it. I think you should write a cookbook. ‘Cooking at home with Turnbull, RCMP’!”  


“I doubt anyone would be interested in a cop who cooks.”  


“I am!”  


“You don’t count.” When he looked at her, he realized what he’d said. “Good lord, that didn’t come out right! What I meant was –”  


“I know what you meant and you’re right! I love everything you do – well almost everything. How’s your elk?” she asked, rapidly changing the subject.  


“I think it’s just about perfect. Medium rare and not dry at all.”  


“Sometimes eating with you is like taking a course in cookery. I love it.”  


“We were talking about the house. Anything else you would like to see?”  


“I’d really like to have those house pictures we got from Mary professionally framed and hung in the entry hall. Oh! I just thought of something. If I figure out how to research our genealogy maybe, we could display her family pics – the ones of her mother and father. Maybe find out if they could be enlarged or find some really nice antique silver frames. And I have an idea for that lovely old suitcase…”  


Kerri went on and on about how she’d like to decorate, but that was not really what Renfield was asking. But he also was not about to interrupt her, she was far too excited and once again seemed so carefree. Which was exactly the reason for this night of fine dining.  


When the busser came for their plates Renfield saw her do it again – adjust her shawl. It had slipped off one shoulder and she hurried to cover herself. He could not let this pass.  


“When we get home,” he said, “the first thing we’re going to do is get you out of that dress and –”  


“Renny, shush! Someone is going to hear you! I know exactly what –”  


He grinned at her. “That too, but that is not what I was going to say. What I was going to say before my favorite girl interrupted me was that once we get home, we are going to take that dress and either donate it to some charity OR throw it in the trash!”  


“What?! Why?”  


“Because you haven’t been comfortable with yourself since the moment you put it on. I don’t think you even realize it, but you are so self-conscious. I am so sorry I forced you to wear it!”  


“You didn’t force me –”  


“But I suggested it and I know you wore it because I said I like the way you look in it. I can’t possibly know what your uncle did to you to make you so self-conscious about your body, but I don’t ever, EVER, want to be the one to cause you to be reminded of it.”  


“Was I being obvious? I didn’t realize…”  


“I know. But you weren’t obvious to anyone but me. Why don’t you tie that shawl in the middle and it won’t slide around so much?” he grinned.  


“Before the busser came you were telling me some of the things you’d like to see in the house? I was thinking if we can figure out if Mary and you are related, we could have a family tree drawn up and frame that.”  


“Maybe once the gardens are done we could have a professional photo of Mary by the fountain – if we ever find one, that is.”  


“Is that what you and Ben have been looking for – a fountain?”  


“Actually we’ve been looking for pipes.”  


“Like for water?”  


“Exactly. There’s got to be a water tank or cistern or something with pipes connected to something.”  


“Something connected by pipes to something?” Kerri thought that was funny.  


“Sort of. But if we could follow the pipe, we’d find out what that something is.” Made perfect sense to Renfield.  


Kerri sat grinning at him. “What?”  


“I’m just happy that you and Ben are enjoying yourselves so much! Our Grand Old Lady is certainly having a positive effect on everyone.”  


“I think she’s beginning to grow on even Ray! By the way have you noticed him with Deuce?”  


“He still insists he doesn’t like dogs, but he sure seems to be attached to ours.”  


“Did you know that Deuce sleeps at the foot of his bed?”  


“Seriously?” she laughed out loud. “He’s an old softie – Ray not Deuce!”  


“You know, he’ll probably have to go home soon,” Renfield hoped and prayed that Ray’s leaving wouldn’t upset her.  


“I know and I’m going to miss him when he does. But he can come visit and we all need to get on with our lives.”  


Renfield breathed a huge sigh of relief. Kerri needed so badly for her friends to be her surrogate family and having them close was her way of compensating for a family she didn’t care to remember.  


“Thank you for insisting that we buy the house.”  


“And I am so happy you see my vision. I really think it’s a meant to be thing. Especially since Ben found Mary! Have you talked to him about how he did that?”  


“No! I’m been meaning to ask, but I keep forgetting,” she admitted. “He came home the other day with a whole lot of old ledgers and books. He wouldn’t tell me what they were, he said it was a surprise. Maybe he was doing research, but he wouldn’t have known to search for Mary.”  


“The garden!” they both said.  


“He must have been doing research on Victorian gardens in Toronto!” Kerri exclaimed.  


“And he must have found a reference to Berkeley House!”  


“That’s right! In all the excitement I forgot about Mary calling the house Berkeley House. Oh!” she said excitedly. “I know what my favorite thing for the house will be! We need to get a plaque from the Historical Society to put by the front door once the house is done and all pretty again. It should say Berkeley House established 1895.”  


“Perfect! And speaking of perfect – look!” Renfield directed her gaze toward the window. The sun was just going down beyond the lake and the reflection was stunning.  


“We’ve been here long enough to see this! Oh, Renny, this has been the most perfect evening. Thank you for thinking of it.”  


“Careful of the makeup,” he teased. “We probably should think about freeing up this table for other diners.”  


“I hate to leave, but I know you want to get me out of this dress, for a couple of reasons,” she smiled and blushed at the same time.  


Renfield signaled their waiter and the check promptly arrived. They walked hand in hand through the restaurant with several sets of eyes staring at them. The woman stared at the gorgeous man in red serge and the men stared at the beautiful blond woman in the slinky black dress. But Renfield and Kerri didn’t notice – they only had eyes for each other.

Chapter 16

Ben was sitting in the dimly lit kitchen drinking tea and pondering the state of his life when he heard them come in. Glancing at the clock he thought that must have been a very long dinner, but then again, since it was after 1am there must have been more involved than just dinner. He would bet they also went for a stroll along the waterfront.  


He left the kitchen to bid them welcome home but stopped short when he saw them. They had just started up the stairs and he definitely did not want to interrupt. Their goal and intentions once they got there would have been obvious to anyone, but the love they felt for each other was palpable to a man who was starving for it himself.  


Ben knew he should turn away but could not keep himself from watching them. When they reached the top of the stairs Renfield turned to kiss her and in that moment Ben could not breathe. Their embrace was so tender and so filled with love and lust it was as if all of the earth’s energy was centered at the top of the staircase. The world seemed to stand still. He continued to watch, transfixed by the couple on the landing, in an embrace as old as time. But he knew that this was somehow different, somehow unique in all the universe. It was as if the god of the cosmos was saying this is my love that I bestow on these two people, it is perfect, and it is theirs. He continued to watch as Renfield swept her into his arms and carried her into their bedroom. Once the door closed behind them the light of love went out and coldness settled in.  


He walked back to the kitchen on legs that would barely support him. His was shaken as he had never been shaken. Once that door had closed, he felt gutted, emptier than ever before, awed, and even scared. He was certain that what he had just witnessed was a once in a lifetime vision.  


He sat at the table for several minutes before he could steady himself enough to even pick up his mug. As his heart rate returned to normal so did his senses. He began to doubt what he saw, but even more what he’d felt. Just his mind run amok, he tried to tell himself.  


He forced his thoughts back in time to the day he had first met Constable Turnbull. When he’d asked at the Consulate who the Mountie standing guard at the front door was, he’d been told ‘some yutz in a hat.’  


Ray had even called him a doofus. And for the longest time that is what Ben believed. And as he had yet to learn, that is just what Turnbull wanted them to believe. But as the years progressed everyone found out they were wrong.  


Even before he met Kerri, Renfield had slowly started to change. Little by little, sort of like peeling an artichoke, the layers were removed. And the more layers were removed the more depth of the man was revealed.  


And then a female auditor came to Chicago and even more layers fell away. As he thought about it now, Ben realized that when Renfield met Kerri it was like a cosmic collision, a grand plan, something akin to the fulfillment of an ancient legend. He remembered the Inspector saying once that the world turned upside down and righted itself again. That was how it was for Renfield and Kerri – the world had been upside down for them, but when they met the world righted itself in their love.  


Ben thought of what he knew of Turnbull’s past. For his entire life he moved from one tragedy to another, life altering events, that would have brought lesser men to their knees. Renfield suffered through every one of them and responded by adding those layers to his mind. Burying the memories deeper and deeper until he could no longer bear the weight of it. And when that weight became impossible, at the perfect moment, Kerri was brought to him.  


She also had a past. But rather than bury it, she ran. And having a job that required her to travel all over North America allowed her to do so for many years. But the running was taking a toll that brought her to the breaking point. And at the perfect moment she ran again – right into Renfield’s arms.  


Few would ever be able to explain it – and most had stopped trying. But all of Ben’s questions had been answered tonight. There was no earthly answer to the depth of love Renfield and Kerri shared, it was a holy thing sent from whatever god there might be. A precious gift meant only for them.  


Dear God how he wished he could be the recipient of a gift as precious.  


“Hey, Fraze! You okay? I’ve been talkin’ ta ya, but ya don’t seem ta be in the room.” Ray was suddenly concerned for his friend. Fraser could be broody sometimes, but lately he’d been happy. At least Ray thought he was happy.  


“What? Oh, sorry.”  


“Where were ya? Looked like ‘bout a thousand miles away.”  


“More like several years,”  


“Been thinkin’ ‘bout this house again?”  


“No.”  


When he didn’t elaborate Ray had to ask, “when?”  


“When we first met Turnbull.”  


Sometimes getting information out of Fraser could be like pulling teeth. “Anythin’ specific?”  


“Just how he was before he met Kerri.”  


“Goofy.”  


“Precisely.”  


“You gonna tell me or do I have ta figure it out one word at a time?”  


Ben looked at the clock and realized he’d be in the past for over an hour. “I saw them come in and well, I just realized how truly mated he and Kerri are. I always thought she had changed him, but I wonder if he has finally become the man he was intended to be.” He looked at the puzzled face of his friend. “You asked.”  


“Maybe yer right, but I don’t think I’m gonna be able ta stay around ta find out.”  


Ben was brought fully into the present. “Has something happened?”  


“Yeah, I guess that’d be right.”  


“Now who’s not forthcoming!”  


“You saw ‘em, I heard ‘em.”  


Ben cocked he head as if to say ‘what?’  


“You know, heard them?” Almost always dense, Ray thought. “Going at it?!”  


It took a moment but then Ben understood. “Oh! Making love.”  


“Yeah,” Ray admitted.  


“I’m sorry Ray. That must be very hard for you.”  


“I mean I know they do it, I’m not stupid. But knowin’ it ‘n hearin’ it are two different things. I’m just not sure I wanna hang around. Ya know?”  


Ben really didn’t know what to say. He firmly believed Ray would always love Kerri. He’d tried to get passed it, tried to move on, but he just couldn’t seem to do it. It was another force of nature, he supposed, that every time Renfield and even more so Kerri needed anything Ray could not help but come running.  


Finally Ben said, “you have to consider yourself. Ask yourself what you really want to do. Don’t let their needs overwhelm you.”  


“Thanks,” Ray muttered, “I’ll think ‘bout that.”  


“Seems that you and I both have a dilemma. We need to figure out what we’re going to do when we grow up,” Ben said, not even trying to hide the sadness in this voice.  


Ray grabbed some cold coffee and heated it up in the microwave. “I didn’t think Turnbull would even have one a these things in his kitchen. I thought real chefs never used ‘em.”  


“He says they are great for reheating coffee!”  


Ray brought his coffee and sat at the table with his friend. “Ya gonna quit the Force then?”  


“I just don’t know. I sure as hell am not going to Ottawa.”  


“What about the Protective Policing gig?”  


“I could stay in Chicago and ‘protect’ the diplomats, sure. But I’m not cut out to escort a Trade Minister’s daughter to museums or concerts or try to track done an almost one of a kind bottle of Scotch. I’ve done that and I’m done with that if you know what I mean.”  


“Wouldn’t be much runnin’ around the city with Chicago flat foots either.”  


“I was born to be an officer of the law, at least that’s what I’ve always believed. Now, apparently the RCMP doesn’t think so.”  


“That sucks.”  


“I believe that about sums it up.”  


“I’m gonna go back up ‘n try ta sleep.”  


“Me too,” Ben said.

Chapter 17

When Kerri awoke the next morning, she was alone. She glanced at her phone and realized why – it was 7:30 and she had slept far past the time that she and Renfield usually got up. She jumped up and headed for the shower, almost tripping over her slinky black dress laying in the middle of the floor.  


She picked it up and smiled. She may not have liked the feelings she had while wearing it, but she sure liked the feelings she had when she’d taken it off. Correction, when he’d taken it off for her. She held it up and decided – she’d keep it, for special occasions, like Renny’s birthday. She probably wouldn’t ever wear it in public again – but in private with her lover, oh my! She blushed and thought she’d have to come up with a special occasion much sooner than Renny’s birthday.  


She also realized she was feeling wonderful. Ever since the night when Renfield hurt her she’d lived with first fear, and then later with just a vague feeling of disquiet that was with her every waking moment. That feeling was gone now, replaced by happiness. Their lovemaking last night had done that, she thought, replaced her disquiet with happiness in Renny’s arms.  


She put on her cast cover and showered quickly just in case there was a lineup of men to wanted to use it too. She didn’t bother to try to dry her hair, the cast made it next to impossible to do that. She would just have Renfield help her put it in a ponytail and she’d be set to go to work – with whatever needed doing.  


She dressed quickly and went to find everyone. She didn’t have to go far, the three of them were in the room that was soon to be the dressing room.  


“Whatchya doin’?” she asked from the doorway.  


“Good morning!” Renfield called from inside the world’s smallest closet, he could barely fit inside it. “We’re trying to get a better idea of the water damage in here. Since they’re starting to redo the roof today, we probably can start rebuilding this room into your dressing room!”  


Kerri clapped her hands and grinned from ear to ear. Ray and Ben wondered yet again how a woman could get so excited over a closet.  


“Renfield could you help me put my hair into a ponytail?”  


“Why?”  


“Because I want it out of my face so I can help –”  


“NO!” the three others said all at once.  


“This floor will not support any more weight. I’m already concerned about the three of us,” Renfield said.  


“You will undoubtedly reinjure your arm,” Ben said at the same time.  


“You’ll fall through the floor!” Ray said on top of both of them.  


“Okay! I get the idea! But can I still have a ponytail?” she asked sheepishly.  


Renfield hurried to help her. “One ponytail coming up.”  


“We have some potentially good news,” Renfield said as he brushed her wet hair off her face and pulled it back. “We think we can repair the walls and floor in that room ourselves, without having to hire a carpenter. Maybe we can put the money we save toward repairing some of the plaster moulding on the ceilings.”  


Kerri cuddled back against his chest. “Are you okay?” he asked, seeing her face reflected in the mirror. “You seem a little down.”  


“Just the opposite! I’m a little tired, but I think we both know why that would be. But I’m very happy, very content. I’ve had a feeling of disquiet for the last couple of weeks, but last night cured me of that!”  


“I did that?” his mirror reflection grinned at her.  


“I’m so glad to have you home! I’m just not myself without you. I just didn’t realize what was causing my disquiet.”  


“That reminds me, you need to call Dr. Giroux today.”  


“I do?”  


“I called him yesterday because we were all concerned about you. He wants you to call him,” Renfield admitted a little too reluctantly, being afraid she would bite his head off for interfering.  


Kerri looked at his reflection and turned to rest her head on his chest. “Thank you for caring.” And Renfield breathed a sigh of relief.  


At that moment they heard the roofers arrive outside.  


Three enthusiastic men rushed to greet the workmen and watch as the scaffolding was erected. Kerri, not being particularly interested in watching what she thought would be ‘scary’, went to find her laptop, to try to figure out how to begin genealogy research.  


Kerri grabbed a bagel and some cream cheese and sat at the kitchen table. Several worrisome noises from high above made her cringe from time to time, but there was no screaming, so she assumed everything on the roof was as it should be. Besides, she was far too engrossed in a genealogy website to worry about the workmen. Renfield, Ben and Ray could handle that.  


Since she had no idea what she was doing it took her awhile to make any progress. After a couple of hours her note pad said, ‘Mary Ratcliff family tree’ and that was all.  


She leaned back in her chair with a sigh of defeat just as Ben came into the kitchen looking sweaty and overheated yet again. “You need some water! Been in the garden again?”  


“No! We’ve been on the roof,” he announced with a great deal of satisfaction.  


“You didn’t let Renfield up there did you?!”  


“Of course, it’s his roof.”  


“Benton Fraser! You know he can be rather clumsy!”  


“Hey! He doesn’t need to ask my permission,” he chuckled. “He was fine. Although it does get pretty hot up there. But my goodness what a view. You can even see a sort of basic design for the garden. There actually was a plan that you can still see!”  


Renfield and Ray weren’t far behind Ben. “That was super cool! The view – wow!” Ray exuded.  


“Kerri! We were on the roof! We could see for miles! We could see for far and wide. And the structure of the gardens. It was…”  


“Cool?” she laughed. “You three certainly don’t look cool. Let me get you all some ice water.”  


“Sit!” Ray ordered. “Don’t hurt your arm, I’ll get it.”  


They got their water and sat with her at the table. “You all look like you’re cooling off. Is it hard to get up there?”  


“It’s not easy,” Ray said, “but it’s worth it!”  


“Are you guys ready for lunch? It’s a little early but I could put something together while you’re all here.”  


“I’ll do it,” Renfield said, starting to get up.  


“Please let me? I’ve got to do something to help around here.”  


Renfield sat back down and watched his determined wife put turkey sandwiches together with one good hand.  


“Smart man,” Ben whispered so only they could hear.  


“Do we have any potato salad?” Kerri asked while searching the refrigerator.  


“No, but I made some tomato salad yesterday. It’s in the container with the blue lid on the second shelf at the left.”  


“Got it. Everyone want some?” There wasn’t a person alive who had eaten Renfield’s cooking who would say no to that question.  


When Kerri brought their plates, she took a seat and watched them.  


“You’re not eating?” Renfield asked.  


“Not yet, but I will.”  


“Ya workin’ on sumpthin’?” Ray asked with a mouthful of sandwich, nodding toward her laptop.  


“Trying, yes. Succeeding, not so much.”  


“Genealogy?” Renfield asked. “Let’s see what you’ve got so far.” Taking the blank notepad from her he said, “oh.”  


“That’s what I meant by not so much. Actually I should have said nothing.”  


“It might be easier to trace your father rather than your mother,” Ben said, looking at the pad with just her mother’s name at the top.  


“I’d rather not know about my father,” she whispered.  


“It’s just dates and places,” Renfield said softly, putting his hand on her shoulder.  


Ben and Ray looked at each other as if to say, ‘we should probably not get involved in this one’.  


“What have you tried looking for?” Renfield asked  


“Birth certificates or census records. The problem is I’m not sure where she was born, and census records are not available after 1921.”  


“How ‘bout death records?” Ray couldn’t help himself, he had to offer a suggestion. “Ya know when ‘n where she died, right?”  


“Yes! That’s a great idea, thanks. Granum Ontario,” she said aloud as she typed.  


“I think that would probably be Willow Creek,” Renfield suggested. When he saw them all looking at him, he explained, “hey! I lived up that way for a year. There wasn’t much to do in the winter, so I studied maps. So shoot me!”  


“Mary Ratcliff Howard Willow Creek death –” before she could type anything else an obituary popped up. “Mary Howard, born May 31 Talbot MD USA –” she stopped reading, dumbfounded.  


“I gather you didn’t know your mother was American?” Ben asked.  


“I had no idea! I just assumed she was from Granum, like my father.”  


“HA! That explains it,” Ray shouted.  


“Explains what?” Ben asked.  


“Well – I guess I don’t know, but it explains somethin’.”  


“Why I’m so weird? Half Canadian half American?” Kerri chuckled.  


“Does this make a difference to you?” Renfield asked as gently as he knew how.  


“No, not at all. I just didn’t know! But then again, how could I? Once my mother died my father never spoke of her again.”  


“Look for her in Talbot Maryland,” Ray ordered, suddenly becoming very interested in the Ratcliff family history, Kerri’s family history.  


“Ratcliff Talbot MD” she said as she typed it into the search engine. “Holy Mackerel! Look at this!”  


She handed the laptop to Renfield and he read the screen. “History of the Ratcliff – Ratliff family in Maryland,” skimming the page, he read the pertinent bits, “Richard Ratcliff descended from Nicholas I Fitzgilbert de Radycliffe born 1122, came from Radclyffe, Lancashire England in 1681. Wow, 1681! Fleeing religious persecution etc. etc.” He skimmed down the page a little farther, “part of the group to build the original Quaker Meeting house established 1682,” he set the computer down. “This is really exciting! The Quakers kept meticulous records of everything, births, deaths, marriages, property purchases, everything! That means your mother’s entire family history will be at the Quaker Meeting House in Talbot Maryland!”  


Fraser watched Kerri with narrowed eyes. Something was troubling her, and he did not at all like the look on her face.  


“Excuse me,” she said as she jumped up from the table, almost knocking her computer to the floor.  


Renfield was so shocked he sat motionless for a moment, but then ran after her.  


“Overwhelmed?” Ray asked Fraser.  


“Overwhelmed,” Ben agreed.  


“Kerri? Are you okay?” he asked when he found her standing in the parlor. “This is good news, isn’t it? You know more about your mother.”  


“Of course. But I just wish she had lived to tell me about it herself! Why did she leave Maryland? Why did she marry my father? Where did she marry my father? Was he Quaker too? Did she have any brothers or sisters? Do I have cousins, aunt, uncles?”  


“You can answer all these questions now – if you want to. It’s a huge step and you should think about it long and hard. If you want, we can make a trip to Maryland. We can visit Talbot and see the Meeting House. I read farther down the document that it’s still there!”  


She collected herself. “I had no idea that one tap on a touch pad could change a person’s life so much! I think I need to decide just how much of my mother’s life I want to know. But for now I still need to find out if or how Mary fits in to any of this.”  


She squared her shoulders and marched back into the kitchen, ready to face her embarrassment and Ben and Ray. She was saved the trouble as the guys had beat a hasty retreat while she was gone.  


“They were probably afraid I was going to cry, again,” she muttered to herself.  


As she sat down at the table, Renfield went out the back to find Ben. Ray had gone upstairs to take some measurements in the dressing room when she heard him call to her from the top of the stairs.  


“Hey, Kerri? Could ya come up here a sec? I need ta ask ya somthin’.”  


She left her laptop and hurried up the stairs.  


“Don’t come in here,” he yelled as he heard her coming. “I just need ta know if ya wanna leave this closet as a closet since it’s so little? Ya might just make it an alcove with shelves or sumthin’.”  


She smiled at him from the doorway. He looked just like a workman, kneeling with a pencil behind his ear, a tape measure in his hand and his jeans just a little too low on his behind.  


“I’m talkin’ ta ya! What ya smilin’ at?”  


“Nothing. You know you should be wearing your glasses for close work,” both of them realized that she knew him far too well, and why that was. She hurried to change the subject, “I’d like to leave the closet there and line it with cedar. Then we can use it for storing his review order uniform and some old quilts and things – stuff that needs to be protected.”  


“Okay, yer the boss!” he smiled and went back to work.  


“Ray?”  


“Hmm?” he answered.  


“When do you have to go home?”  


He stopped what he was doing but did not look at her. “Not sure,” he said, pretending to be busy but fooling neither of them. “Pretty soon.”  


“I’m very grateful you were able to come.”  


“You know me, whenever a Turnbull’s in trouble I come runnin’.”  


“And I know how hard it is for you,” she whispered.  


“Doesn’t keep me from comin’.”  


“I know, and that’s what makes you such a great guy. I’d better let you get back to work before I embarrass myself even more.” She turned and fled down the stairs.  


Or I embarrass myself, Ray thought. Oh well, with all that genealogy stuff maybe she’ll find a long-lost sister. He suddenly remembered Renfield’s long lost brother and thought better of that idea.  


“Kerri!” she heard her named called as she hurried down the stairs. “Kerri! Where are you?”  


“Here! What’s going on?”  


“Come quick!” Renfield commanded as he grabbed her good hand and dragged her out of the door. “Look what we found!”  


They rushed down the steps and out onto the newly uncovered path.  


“The fountain! Wonderful!”  


“It’s very dirty and covered with vines, but it’s here!” Ben exclaimed. “Once it’s cleaned up, we can get it running again. You’ll need a pump and electricity out here, but it will be magnificent.”  


Magnificent might have been a bit of an overstatement, but it was indeed an impressive thing. It looked to be made of some kind of stone, not marble, more like concrete. At about two meters it had imposing height, but the diameter was not overly wide. Two bowls with lions carved on them and a bubbler at the top spilled water into a large basin at the base – at least it once did. Now the basin was filled with muck and all manner of vegetation.  


“It’s right in the middle of the whole garden. This path runs right from the veranda all the way back to the bottom of the garden. And here you can just see that it’s bisected by another path that runs perpendicular from wall to wall. I think. And the fountain sits right in the middle.” Renfield explained. “We could see something in this area from the roof! And here it is!”  


“How in the world did they get this to work before electricity?” Kerri asked.  


“A hydraulic ram would be my guess,” Ben answered.  


“A what? Good Lord!” Kerri was suddenly distracted by activity high in the sky. “That is really high!” she exclaimed at the activity on the roof.  


“Yes, but the view is fantastic!”  


“Renny, please don’t go up there again, I scares me!”  


“We were perfectly safe, but if it scares you that much, I promise.”  


“Hey! Could you guys come up here a minute? I need ta run sumpthin’ by ya both.” Ray yelled from the dressing room window.  


“Ya wanna double check my list?” Ray asked when Renfield and Ben came into the room. “I think I’ve got all the lumber we’ll need figured out. Kerri says she wants ta line the closet with cedar – sort of like a shrine ta red serge. My words, not hers. So I figured that in too. We gotta figure out the casings for the doors and windows. Plus I’m pretty sure yer gonna need a new window. I don’t think all the floor joists will need ta be replaced, but close. ‘N I haven’t looked at the floor in the attic above the ceiling.”  


Renfield looked at the list and then handed it to Ben. “I think this looks great!” Ben said, then looking around the room he asked Renfield, “do you think you want to hire a plasterer? This is going to be quite a job.”  


“I’m thinking I’d like to give it a go. At least try before I find out I can’t do it. It is a closet, after all and I imagine Kerri’s going to want lots of shelving so If it’s not perfect it won’t matter all that much. Plus I’ll gain the experience.”  


Ben was impressed. As he’d said many times before, Turnbull never ceased to amaze him. “Good man,” he said.  


While the guys discussed the supplies needed for the repairs upstairs Kerri decided to look online for ideas for how layout her dressing room. She was amazed at the pictures she found. Eventually she found exactly what she wanted.  


She knew she wanted white shelving and dove grey walls, but she didn’t know until she saw the picture that she wanted a chandelier! Not huge or ostentatious, but with crystals that made prisms on the ceiling. The clothes hanging area would be sort of a squared off W shape, with two heights of rods running the length of each side of the room. One section of the inside of the W would have long hanging with open shelves on the top and drawers on the bottom. The other section of the inside of the W would be shelving for shoes. At one base of the W would be the door to the bathroom. The other base would be situated in the alcove for the dormer window and have a dressing table. At the top of the W on the left was the door to the hall and on the opposite side was the closet that would be lined with cedar. She would ask Renfield if they should close off the door to the hall.  


She drew a picture and then ran upstairs to ask one of them to take measurements.  


She found them with tape measures already in hand for measuring the floor.  


“I have a rough drawing of what I want for the dressing room. Could you guys make sure it will work? It should be like this, with…” She went on and on, and on, and on.  


Ray rolled his eyes.  


Ben chuckled.  


Renfield took notes.  


“A chandelier? In a closet? Yer kiddin’, right?”  


Kerri ignored Ray and gave Renfield that look – the one that he could never say no to. “There’s already a ceiling light in here, so you pick out the fixture and I’ll put it up.”  


“Yippee!” she clapped her hands and jumped up and down, causing her ponytail to swish wildly.  


The other two men in the room understood immediately why Renfield could never say no to 'that look'. Damn, she was cute when she was excited.  


“Can I request just one thing?” Renfield asked sheepishly.  


“What?”  


“Can it not be painted pink?”  


“Of course, Silly! White woodwork and dove grey walls!”  


“What’s the deal with closets?” Ray asked Ben.  


“When you find out, my friend, you will know one of the secrets of the universe.”

To be continued in Part II


End file.
